How often should significant others meet?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years now and we've been fighting over this forever. He says I want to meet too often and I think he doesn't and makes me look like I'm really clingy. So how often should a couple meet?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Tbh I can comfortably say 2 times throughout a 7 day period an space them out so maybe ie. a Wednesday and Sunday... the reason I speak of this is because a man looses interest in things he can predict with that being said he looses ambition to ask the simple things like”how was your day?” And many others etc... texting can remain every day but with that being said give moments and time for each other to love to be able to have a conversation that brings intense feelings they did when you first started dating

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  • That depends on the two people involved. I suggest that you both take the quiz at www.5lovelanguages.com That will show you what kinds of things are important to you and make you feel loved.

    My guess is that your score for Quality Time (doing things together) will be significantly higher than his and that's the reason for your disagreement. No score is wrong, but seeing where you are different will show you where you need to compromise.

    Hopefully once you both understand better what your partner's needs are, you'll be able to work out a compromise that you are both satisfied with. If you're not able to do that, then you might want to consider finding new partners.

    My Quality Time score is high. I like to spend a lot of time with my partner. In my previous relationship, my ex's Quality Time score was low and that was source of friction and one of several reasons we split up. My girlfriend now has an identical score to mine and it's much easier because we both like to be together a lot so we don't often have conflict about that.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • In my opinion, in a romantic relationship you don't need to be together 24/7 but most couples tend to cut some time from their 'individual time' and make it 'couple's time'.

    Someone commented that they don't need to meet their SO more than once every few weeks. To me, unless they're on the military or have other career contingencies, that's not love.
    If my boyfriend told me he thought I was too clingy because I wanted to spend more time together, I would quickly assume we were either not compatible or he didn't really like me that much.

    Maybe you guys are still too young and he doesn't wanna commit to a serious relationship yet.

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    • Exactly you are in a relationship because of companionship other come later , and about the work every one you knew has no time its just about priority and if for you work is more important than let say you are not cutout for relationship

  • I think as often as the 2 people want to see each other and can see each other with their schedules and monetary concerns. I see my boyfriend once a week and talk to him for about 20 hours a week but when we first started dating I saw him once every 2-5 weeks and we talked for 6-8 hours a day. He was so poor he was skipping meals because he did not have money for food and I had more money than him but I was also broke. That's why we didn't meet very often.

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What Guys Said 45

  • This all depends on a lot of factors. How much do you like eachother? What are your schedules, do they conflict? Is he a night owl, and your a morning person? Does he work day time, and you have night shifts? How far away are you from eachother? Then factors like weather, traffic, holidays, these are all things that can interfere with you both seeing eachother

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  • Relative to the people in the relationship. Good or bad you should either A. have a real talk with him and not blame him for the situation or B. likely find another guy. Either you're too needy, in that you're not considerate of his time. For example wanting to meet up without regard to do something he wants to do. Leaving it up to him to figure something out every time or falling back on doing things you like that maybe he doesn't necessarily enjoy.

    Or you're entirely reasonable and with a guy who can't fulfill your needs, won't fulfill your needs or just isn't willing to do the things you need in order to feel loved. Because big picture you're telling him you feel like he doesn't care enough about your relationship without outright telling him that. You want him to show you without saying it.

    Personally, if a girl is far enough along to be my one and only then I want to see her daily. But that doesn't mean I want my day to be dedicated to hanging out with her 24/7. I need my space to do my own thing, to hang with my friends alone tho I like bringing my girl along sometimes.

    When it comes to relationships your girl should be an addition to your life not become your life.

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  • If you have not established your relationship in this timeframe. He is over you and to coward to break it off. And in creating distance between you two. He is hoping you will just call if off. It takes the stress of breaking up off him. So cut the cord. See how much he really wanted to be with you. And he will probably create a scene. Cause it will empower him and make you feel bad. But at the end of the day. He is done with you. So just be done with him.

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  • I mean I believe a lot. I know this past semester at college the girl I was dating (not anymore for unrelated reasons) basically lived together. We would do our separate things during the day, meet with our own friends for lunch and other events. Then eat dinner and go to one persons room for the evening and night. When it's in a situation unlike that, I'd say 2-4 times a week. But I also love giving attention

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  • After 2 years, why aren't you living together that's a long time.

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  • It depends on the couple, try to show him that you want more time with him. You don't have to scheduke anything just always try for more time. You're not as clingy as you think, even though we can feel that way at times

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  • There's no set standard. People live different lives. Busy couples tend to meet less but enjoy the company more. Couples that meet loads tend to find more of a complacency with each other but see a lot more of each other. It's all personal preference

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  • Uh how far are you two from each other? Different states I'd say once every few months unless you can afford more frequently. If several minutes to maybe an hour away then I'd say daily or even weekly.

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  • After 2 years you'd be almost living together no? Should probably think about getting your own place.

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    • I wanted to but his friends convinced him to live with them

    • Shouldn't the asker have higher priority over the friends?

  • I meet my girlfriend daily, it just doesn't feel right if I don't.

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  • If it's possible have lunch with him a couple times a week I personally always enjoyed it or dinners after work, but everything depends on your schedules. If nothing else set aside time for you and SO

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  • With me it would have to be how far apart do you live how hard it is to get together work schedules and things like that school whatever and then probably as often as we could

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  • I find that when to people are in love, you should meet as much as you can. Try to meet as much as possible, not just for a date, but to get to know the person and cuddle.

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  • If long distance, obviously t r y to as much as possible.

    If like in other towns, other sub areas etc., maybe like 0-10 miles away, id say 3-4 times a week. At least that's what I'd enjoy.

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  • If neither is busy the shouldn't be a problem with daily in my opinion. See the one you love as often as you can

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  • After 2 years I'd be living with her already. You should meet as often as you feel comfortable. Everyone has different preferences.

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  • Any time they're free. If he's saying that he's probably cheating, if he really loved you he'd want to spend more time together.

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  • In my case, I would want to see mine as much as possible.

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  • any way they want who am I to say anything
    I'm just a eternally single passerby

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  • Depends on the couple, how busy you are, preference and about compromising

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What Girls Said 22

  • It varies by each couple. My SO and I see each twice a week, I know others that see each other daily, while others see SO two or three times a month. What's important is the quality of the time spent together. But if you want more and he's unable to give it to you, you may need to reevaluate your Relationship.

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  • Im with my boyfriend longer than you two and we still se each other everyday and do things together. You can call us clingy but we love each other so its good.

    Talk to him. Why doesn't he want to spend time with you? Why does he think you are clingy?

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  • Well everyone is different, I know people who want to see their guy daily and then there are my friends and myself who don't mind seeing the person they're talking to 1-2 a week and honestly sometimes I don't want to see someone for a few weeks cause I do need space soo yeah whatever fits for both of you

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  • Every couple is different, and many are just fine seeing each other once a month, others need several days a week.

    You might not be compatible, he might not be mature enough/ready to date, he might be up to something that's taking up his time, maybe you are clingy, or he might not enjoy the things you do when you're together.

    How often do you meet up, and who makes most of the plans? Does he ever make plans or suggest meeting up?

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  • As often as you feel to. In my past relationships, I didn't wanted to see my partner everyday. I felt the need to be alone from time to time, and I was. Now I live with my fiancé and we see each other everyday, of course. I don't feel the need of being alone as we are extremely comfortable with each other. My point is... every relationship is different, everyone is different. I don't think there is a number of days in which you see each other.

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  • When we started dating we saw eachother or stayed at ecahkther once for like two nights then as the relationship has gone on its more and more and nowni basically live with him and go home on a weekend if he's working or sometimes i stay and chill st his while he's working so we are basically with eachother everyday.

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  • I can't say since I've never been in love but I think it depends on the couple. Some people like some alone time and others like to be around others. Neither is wrong but if the couple isn't on the same page then it's a problem. Work things out with your partner and make sure you guys have your need met.

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  • My s. o. And I see each other for a few days at a time but only once a month. I take a few days off work to see him monthly, we both would like it to be more often but once a month is what we can manage with our schedules

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  • Everyone is different, depends on your schedules and obligations. I would say as long as you're both on the same page and satisfied any amount of time is appropriate

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  • There's not a specific answer to this question, it depends on you both. You should both agree on how often you should meet and if you can't and keep arguing about it then you should probably sit down and discuss it. From what I've read it affects your relationship so you should also start questioning whether your relationship is healthy or not. What I mean is that he has to compromise just as much as you have to and you both must be open minded and accept each others needs if you want this to work.

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  • I’ve only been with my boyfriend almost 2 months and we see each other about 3 times a week. But after 2 years I’d say almost everyday would be normal.

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  • I'd say once every other week. No less than once a month though.

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  • Oh wow. Ugh it doesn't sound like he's that interested in you

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  • At least once a day if not to hear for them let them know you care and there still alive.

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  • Few times a week but not daily

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  • Every couple days

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  • I know what u mean. It sucks

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  • Whenever you feel you need to

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  • I'm at my boyfriend's place literally all the time

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  • As often as they want

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