Why is he doing this?

?He is 15 years younger then I am..We met on a dating site and we had 11 months of passion and hate mixed together.. He told me he loved me and that I was the first woman he ever loved..(I am an ex model)..I was vulnerable...just came out of a long and meaningless marriage..

He lives two hours away and we communicate by skype and text..When things were fine he used to come to a hotel here in my town on weekends..

My problem is that he became extremely posessive.. I had to delete a lot of male friends of facebook for him.I did not mind because he seemed to love me a lot...after our last fight I deleted him off facebook..he then deleted his own profile..

In the past when I became angry with him and if I did ignore him for half a day he used to be completely hysterical..calling my landline 20 times..leaving dozens of text messages.He even threatened suicide if I ever left him.

Our last fight was about three weeks ago..I accused him of seeing somebody else because he was acting strangely..sometimes I could not get hold of him for hours on end..He then seemed to break contact with me..I became extremely depressed because I still love him a lot and all my attempts since then seemed to fail..Suddenly he was not there for me anymore..His text messages were short and abrupt..He came on skype now and then but did not want to put the cam on..

Yesterday he came online and for half an hour we had the best conversation we had in three weeks..He asked me how I was. He told me we can cam later during the evening and we chatted about all kinds of things..it felt like the old days when things were good..When I tried to contact him later the evening he was uncontactable...This morning he came online and told me he fell asleep..He would not go on cam and he was back to answering only abruptly and in one word phrases..When I mentioned that I was back on a dating site because we seem to be over..and I feel lonely.. he became terribly nasty telling me I will NEVER see him again and he called me a SLUT etc...He also said that he hopes someone takes me off his hands and that I text too much and that he wants to delete me out of his life.

He however promised we can go on skype tonight after midnight when he gets home from wherever he is going...I have texted him about five times this afternoon asking if he wil deffinately be on because in the past I have especially stayed awake to talk to him and then he never came online...He has not answered any of my text messages..what must I do? Does he still love me..because I know I miss and love him still.. Is he only playing games..I am confused and I do not know what to think anymore.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he loves you very much, but SOMETHING has him insecure! When he's mean to you, he's hurting & scared of losing you, so he's being all tough & trying to convince himself he can do without you, but unsuccessfully. One day when you have him chatting & things are good, just be like, I'm not trying to start problems, but did I hurt you? Can we talk about it? I get the impression that he'd be someone up to that, & maybe you can straighten this out. But, if his insecurities keep going unchecked it will tear y'all apart. Sounds like it already is. (you're both hurting) I hope it works out...


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What Guys Said 3

  • Firstly, he's 15 years younger than you, putting him at least in his early 20s if not maybe mid 20s. He's highly insecure, at that age.

    Firstly he sounds unstable. Deleting his entire Facebook and disconnecting from everyone on there just cos you and he got in a fight is way over-reacting.

    Plus, what's going on with you that you're dating someone that was born when you were entering high school? You're basically the "adult" in this situation. Why are you letting him behave this way? Ask yourself this - would you take this kind of behavior from someone your own age?

    He sounds posessive and insecure. That can quickly turn to abuse no matter what age you are. Give him the ultimatum - either he changes his ways or he doesn't get to come out and play anymore.

  • U know wat...its just kinda a trick he's playing on you...

    First, he heaped on you loads of his attention all day and then allowed you to get used to it and now suddenly and abruptly he's playing with your emotions by just distancing you.. Bcoz he knows you are going to be affected wen You are devoid of his attention.

    Wont comment on whether he loves you or not...might b ...might not b...

    But yes he just doesn't deserve someone as good as you..

    My call...MOVE ON...

    Best wishes

    • Thank you very much for you honest opinion..So your opinion is he enjoys seeing how distraught I get over the way he treats me..(I send many text concerning this when he ignores me)..Last night he cameon skype for an hour with me but refused to go on cam!?

  • He's 15 years younger than you... you should be looking for someone to spend your life with not someone who is looking for a quick relationship.

    • Well... Yes I do think that he enjoys to see that feeling of desperation in you, for Him. According to me, it would give every1 irrespective of sex. a sense of gratification to have someone who is desperate and longing to be with them. Ask yourself, even you would feel good if he would hav been so desperate for you to go on cam.

What Girls Said 2

  • he doesn't sound in the best place to be in a relationship, you need someone more stable. I think that he isn't listening to your needs or he would be more empathetic to the fact you don't need your head messed with right now. Had a lot of guys act in this way myself and I think its very selfish, he clearly has issues. Obviously you just coming out of relationship you do too but you arnt taking these out on him, so he isn't giving as much as you. My opinion is walk away before he hurts you more I think he is draining you, I'm sure you are gorgeous(from your modelling as you said) and you sound really caring, someone who can reciprocate your love back will make you a lot happier. Good luck though, update on here x

  • I'm sorry to say but I don't think this relationship sounds like a healthy one. I'm sure you do care about him but is this really making you happy! Would you still want to be in this kind of realtionship for years to come. I had a boyfriend once who create a lot of mental anguish with me just like this also, I got rid of him and was much happier for doing so.

    I wish you lots of luck