Why do guys say they want to be friends and then immediately date someone else?

Why do guys sit there and say they just want to be friends after dating you, and then turn around and date someone else, when they claim they're not going to?

My boyfriend broke up with me on Friday, and he said he just wanted to be friends because I was "stressing him out". Like yeah, we fought a lot but it was because I was so irritated from when he kissed another girl like 2 weeks into our relationship, that I felt like I couldn't even trust him anymore, especially when this other girl was at his house like a week ago SHOWERING in his shower, and he considered it to be normal.

But I also think he used the excuse of me stressing him out because he couldn't keep his lies straight anymore and his stories weren't adding up and he was getting tired of me questioning him.

Anyways, the girl was having problems with her boyfriend and then broke up with him. Her status on myspace on Friday said she was single. So I had a feeling deep down inside he was going to go and date her. Then Saturday, lo and behold, her status says in a relationship and my ex is her #1. I confront him about it and told me to stop being so crazy and stop looking at people's myspace pages, and that he wasn't dating her, but they might date. And he never cheated on me, blahblahblah. And they were just best friends. Then the next day, when he finally logs on myspace, she was his #1.

When I called him to confront him about it, I was like, "I just want to know the truth. You're not going to hurt my feelings". I would much rather him tell me that they were dating than trying to sugarcoat things and cover it up. I was like, are you and Sam dating or not? He kept saying they weren't.

Why can't some guys just be man enough and break up with someone before you get with someone else? I really do believe he cheated on me with her, even though he claims he didn't. Now there's pictures on her myspace of him laying on her couch from the same day we hung out.


Most Helpful Guy

  • your fighting with him about something that shouldn't matter to you. of course he probably cheated on you. what you should understand is that its nothing to be mad about. he wasn't worth it. from the beginning and be lucky that he at least broke up with you afterward. some would have kept both girls. he wasn't real with you so you shouldn't sweat it and move on.

    as for the myspace thing its a bit much that your looking into it so much. he's not a man for not telling you upfront and not wanting to hurt you more but you need to be a women and realize your better than that and need to forget about it. take the good and throw the rest away as a waist of time and move on. there should be no hostility it was a learning experience.

    also I understand your reasoning, but the moment you question him every waking moment and sweat him for every detail is the moment he will want to leave or cheat. nothing is more appealing than a girl who has confidence and is secure enough to know that their in charge. that girl is the girl ill never cheat on. so remember that for your next relationship hope that helped.

    • Okay, maybe I exaggerated; I didn't question him on everything, but after he had kissed that girl, I couldn't trust him, and then 2 weeks later, he had another girl in his house whom was in his shower and they were going to the mall later but he lied to his aunt/uncle and said she took a shower because she was going to work that night which so wasn't even the case.

      Like, I'm not even mad or sad about it anymore. I'm glad he's out of my life I just don't understand guys sometimes.

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    • Oh, I asked him how if would feel about certain situations. And about the girl in his shower, he said he wouldn't care if he saw a guy friend showering in my house. Um yeah, BULLSHIT. But anyways, yeah I don't even care what happened anymore; I'm glad it happened. Cause it made me open my eyes and realize he wasn't the person for me, and is a pathetic loser.

    • Why are guys on here acting as if she should be okay with being cheated on? Ya'll would straight trip if a girl did that to you....as you said men love to cheat but hate to be cheated don--stupid double standard...

      she has every right to be angry and upset--people shouldn't suppress how they feel--she shouldn't boil his rabbit or slash any tires ( psycho behavior) buts she has the right to be hurt and upset by being betrayed,even if she did see it coming, period.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • You're getting awfully worked up over someone who cheated on you.

    You spelled it out yourself in your post. Just brush him off you shoulder. He couldn't respect you, so don't respect him. Don't give him the respect of being upset. Just walk off, and never give him the time of day.

    Some guys are like that, some girls are like that. That's just how it is in life.

    • She has the right to be pissed as anyone would--bust she should move one and I think she will...

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    • I don't think being angry means it is affecting her future--it is a normal reaction to being betrayed right now. she should acknowledge her anger, and yes move on. Anger is natural as is sadness--as long as she doesn't react negatively or make someone else pay for her mistakes, she should won her feelings and understand it is okay to feel bad...not all emotions are going to be good ones, and that is okay -- it is worse to suppress them. I think talking is healthy 4 her.

    • I agree she should talk, and I have never advocated suppressing feelings here or anywhere else. I'm simply saying that with this guy it's clear he's not someone to invest a lot of hurt feelings in. This kind of a guy is only going to drag girls down, no matter who they are. In order for her not to give this guy power, she needs to not feel attached to the relationship.

  • Some guys want both women, either because they really like both or they just are players.

    Yes, I think you can assume he is cheating with her from what you say. Not much doubt about it.

    It's not like girls don't regularly do the same sort of thing. right? And it's not even considered cheating by most people.

    • How would that not be considered cheating? He was seeing two girls at the same time when he was in a relationship with one of them. The other girl had been cheating on her boyfriend too.

    • Well, I agree, but somehow girls doing the same thing is often called 'playing the field' or some such euphemism.

      I agree that it's cheating!!

What Girls Said 3

  • I don't blame you for getting upset by looking into it but best thing for you to do is leave it alone. Stop yourself from going back to his or her webpages. It'll just keep you going back. They're not worth your time. Turn your back and walk away from everything.

  • Don't be friends with him--just move on--you've lost nothing--just look out for the same animal in the wild and avoid it.that's all you can do really.

    • Oh, I'm definitely not going to be friends with him. I wanted to be friends after we had broken up, but after this, hell no. I can't be friends with someone who lies and can't be trusted. I just know to trust my gut next time when I feel something is wrong.

    • Exactly--then shake the dust off your feet girl and hold your head up high--you are better than that!

  • 1.guys are assholes! ( sorry for the non-assholes out there.)

    2. Myspace breeds drama!

    3. you're 23. LIVE IT UP GIRL! lol

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