SO there's this guy I've liked for a couple of years on and off.
We're really close friends and he always flirts wiht me.
Before you judge, let me say that he's not a scumbag or anything and he's apologized for hurting me like a million times and says he doesn't want to hurt anyone. Recently, I mentioned I was going to switch out of a class I had with him and he got upset and told me not to. I asked why, and he said that he couldn't really say right now, but I would know eventually.
After much persistence on my part he finally admitted that he's attracted to me. And he has a girlfriend.
I had just gotten over him and when he said this it brought the feelings all back. He said he's liked me for the past couple of years too, off and on. We've texted for a total of around 16 hours in the past week alone and it's so easy for us to talk. I told him I liked him and we talked about how much this situation sucked. He said that he likes his girlfriend a lot but he likes me too and it's reallly confusing for him.
Note just said that he only likes her a lot, not loves her, which I know they've said in the past. Him and his girlfriend have been dating for about 4 months and theyve been fighintg a lot lately.
Last night, my best friend decided to text him because she thought he wasn't being fair to me. He apologized and said he knew, but he couldn't help liking me. She pointed out that If he really liked his girlfreind he wouldn't like me at all. He said that he really likes me but likes his girlfriend too and that makes it confusing. He doens't really know what he feels and that he didn't want me to switch out of his class because he likes me and he likes me being in his class because he loves being around me. He also said that he and his girlfriend had been going through a bad time and that she had been treating him like crap. My friend said that shed help him make decision and he basically said that he and his girlfriend were just starting ot fix things and that He didn't feel right liking me right then and that I was a cool girl and I would find someone who likes me and is perfect for me.
I thought this meant he didn't want to talk to me anymore, but the next day he texted me making usre I was okay and said that he didn't want me to stop talking to him. It seems to me that he said that rejectance thing because my friend was saying that he souldn't have told me he liked me and he neeed to fix it and that was his screwed up way. I really don't know what to think or how he feels and I have no idea what to do . HELP!
Most Helpful Guy
This is a tough situation for both you and him...
Although, I guess most guys (myself included) would be jealous that this guy gets to choose between two girls he obviously likes a lot, and not feel so sorry for his predicament.
However, I do think that he really does like both you and his girlfriend. I don't think it has to be "either or" like your friend was suggesting.
The thing you have to realize is that it really wouldn't be fair for him to break-up with his girlfriend right now just because he also has feelings for you. If fate had acted differently, you might very well be his girlfriend...but the other girl got there first.
The fact that he is trying to make his relationship with his girlfriend work, and isn't ready to immediately jump ship and hook-up with you, is a GOOD thing. You really shouldn't hold that against him, because you wouldn't want him to do that if you were in his girlfriend's place! He obviously does have feelings for his girlfriend, and he is trying to make the relationship work, and like any relationship, there will be fights at times. No relationship is perfect.
It's just kind of wrong to make this about who he likes more. Even if he did think he likes you more, he likes his girlfriend enough to stay with her and try to make it work. And ultimately, who knows who was meant to be together? Maybe he was meant to be with his girlfriend, and it would be a shame not to give them a chance. You don't want to be the one who breaks them up. Let them break-up naturally. If it was meant to happen, it will happen.
Of course, it's also not fair for you to have to wait for him. Keep your eyes open for guys who are single, and if he misses his opportunity to be with you, then it becomes his bad luck. It's all about luck and timing. Now is not the right time for you to be with him, and I know that's tough because of the feelings you have...but if you can accept it, then it will be easier for both of you.
What he seems to be asking of you, which is to remain friends and to not be all melodramatic (i.e. switching out of his class, never speaking to him again, etc.) is not too much to ask for. It doesn't make sense for you to suddenly start acting like his enemy just because he already has a girlfriend. That's not his fault. Any why ruin a potential future? On the other hand, you have to live your life right now...and as it currently stands, you're single and he's not.0