I'm always The Friend, does this mean I'm ugly?

Hi!

So this isn't really a complaint, but it's something I've noticed a lot where guys aren't *disinterested* in me but I'm never the one they ask out.

Like guys like me as a friend a lot, like talking to me and hanging out. sometimes they even seem interested but then randomly change their minds.
Does this sound like I'm just not attractive enough to be considered a girlfriend? I mean, you wouldn't just quit on dating someone if you were really interested. And if guys never think of you as serious dating potential, are you just ugly?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • No, it doesn't mean you're ugly.
    What it means is they are not getting a vibe from you that you are interested in going out with them.

    If your conversations are purely platonic then it's more of a person to person conversation. It's a conversation that leads nowhere. There's nothing enticing about the topic's other than intellectual stimulation.

    What you want is to change the conversation to more of a woman to man conversation. Let him know you are available. Ask him if he's seeing someone, or bring up that you are single and looking. Add some subtle flirtation to turn the conversation a little bit (not overly) sexual. Talking about your worst kiss ever is an example. Sexual, but not overly sexual.

    Just let the guys know that you are available. It will take a little courage on your part. It might feel a little strange and outside of your comfort zone if you are not doing it. I've been where you are, but this will payoff in the long run.

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  • Not at all. I don't have a physical type just a personality type. If you're good enough as a friend you're good enough to date. I felt the same as you. So I can relate to how you are feeling. I had very attractive women friends at your age but they weren't remotely into me. It does mess with your self esteem.
    My current girlfriend had been a friend of mine for a long time first. I had no idea she liked me until a year ago. You never know what life has in store for you. Just be patient and the right man will come along.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you answered your own question within the question

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What Guys Said 10

  • No I don't believe that, I believe maybe guys might find you as someone they can be real with. I don't think all guys believe you are ugly I think that they don't have a woman who's a friend who they can have convos with as if they are having them with another man like they do with you. That's hard to find let alone a good friend and I believe someone will notice how cool and honest you are fall in love with you

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  • Not for me. If a had a girlfriend in addition to girl friends, that wouldn’t mean I thought my casual friends were unattractive in any way. My girlfriend would basically be the one I connected with the most.

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  • It probably means guys your age like you but are looking for easy thrills and short term.
    I'd guess you'll come into your own in a few years when they are looking for something longer term.

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  • Hard to say, I would start working on yourself, if you feel like your wasting all your time when dating.

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  • I have seen this many times. It doesn't necessarily mean you're not hot or not good looking. It may just mean that you're too cool around them and act too much like one of the guys. So they are just seeing you as another one of the guys and to them, after they see you like that, it's hard for them to see you sexually. Sleeping with you would be like sleeping with one of the guys. So try hanging with some different guys, but act girly, dress girly, and flirt a little. Don't talk like the guys do, and act like them. Act like a beautiful woman and see what happens

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  • You seem like a push over. Most probably don't respect you.

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  • It just means that you are not girlfriend material for THOSE guys.

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  • Pretty much. Either that or you're very cringy.

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  • U got a fat booty?

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  • Possibly just not typically beautiful.

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