Should I keep this from my fiance? (Pregnancy and birth control)?

My boyfriend and I tell each other everything (even if it's hurtful) because we have an honesty pact in our relationship. But here is where the issue comes in. He is quite a few years older than me and he always talks about wanting to have kids with me. He says he's willing to wait until we're married (which is happening in a matter of months) but he wants to try getting me pregnant shortly after that. I want to put it off for at least three years because I'm only 22 and have things I still want to do while I'm childless. I have been thinking of taking birth control pills to prevent pregnancy but I don't know if I should tell him about it? Do I do it behind his back? I feel like if I talk to him about it, he will try talking me out of it or get upset that I don't want kids right away. Should this just be a secret I keep to myself?

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What Guys Said 2

  • Well he's going to find out at some point. Talk to him about how you feel he shouldn't decide alone.

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    • How will he find out? :) and I'm open to having that conversation with him but I guess scared of his reaction?

    • Well um he's gonna start to wonder why you're not getting pregnant. He can't force you to have a baby with him so you have nothing to be afraid of.

  • My girlfriend and I tell each other everything (even if it's hurtful) because we have an honesty pact in our relationship. My girlfriend is a little older than me and she wants children, but I just want to live a little. Do you guys think it would be ok if I secretly took the male pill to stop getting her pregnant?

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    • Okay I get your point lol :) but how should I broach the subject?

    • I don't understand why people are so afraid of upsetting others. Just tell him what you told us. However, that you considered lying and going behind his back suggests that this relationship may end before that time because such things come from the ego / lower self and fear.

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