Why does my boyfriend get stand-offish to me around his friends?

I’ve noticed that it’s not ALL of his friends. But, he has made certain jokes for some of them that I am interested in them. But then he laughs it off and says he is kidding. But, anyways. There are certain friends/family who I have met where my boyfriend turns cold towards me. I am not sure why he gets this way around certain friends/family of his, but maybe he feels inferior to them? One of his friends is above 6ft, gets a lot of girls, and i assume would be attractive to other girls (but isn’t even my type romantically nor platonically tbh). And my boyfriend gets weird with me around him. After I met him, i tried to ask more about his life and talk to my boyfriend about the night and funny things that happened and he just got quiet and kind of defensive. I’ve noticed he was also cold and distant from me after I met his cousin who I tried to be friendly with and talk to and get to know. I felt like maybe my boyfriend thought I had ulterior motives or something. Or that I was interested in his friend and his cousin. I don't know why he get this way.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe he takes your friendliness for kindness but knows your just being nice and he is conflicted about it also there is a possibility that his friends think your flirting with them and he might not believe it but it conflicts him as well guys don't like to talk about there problems so instead of bringing it up try showing him he's yours maybe the next time he gets stand off Ish around a friend maybe try insulting his friends appearance jokingly nothing to mean just a little BURN!! And then comment your boyfriend on how what his friend lacks your boyfriend has for example one of my exs who's a big flirt would make me feel insecure around other guys and she was just being friendly but didn't realize that guys would think she was flirting and they would look at me like "you know your gif wants my dick right" and I'd get upset with her but one day one of my friends was boasting about how attractive he was and how girls would be lucky to have him and she said "your mom needs to stop lying too you and tell you to brush your teeth cause your breath stinks" then she grabbed my face and pulled it to his and said "this is how your mouth is suppose to smell" and we all laughed and it was all in good fun but after that (I didn't notice till she brought it up) I had her attached to my hip my arm was always around her and I made her sit in my lap and I even started making out with her in front of them and I really don't like pda

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He has problems. You could try staying away. When you meet up with them just don't talk to them. Or try not hanging out with any of his friends or family. If he mentions your distance you can be truthful. You are dating him so hanging out with his family or friends really doesn't matter. But It's not a good sign for the way he's acting. If he can't trust you the relationship will be painful.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Observation states when guys are around their friends and being standoffish around the girlfriend its because theyre trying to impress the friends, the presence of the girlfriend is an "issue", or to show their friends thst they are treating the girlfriend like an accessory, which apparently is a popular mode of thought these days.

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  • It sounds like your boyfriend is really insecure. Guys that are insecure get defensive over petty stuff like this. To be completely honest with you i think you should leave him or tell him to quit acting like that. He shouldn't be making you feel bad around his friends or family like that👎

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  • I mean if you're like having full blown conversations with them, then it's understandable if he gets mad or annoyed. Other than that, he shouldn't be different around his family. Maybe ask him. But like I said, if you are having long convos with them, then it's understandable if he doesn't like that. I couldn't give an exact answer on this. You would probably have to talk to him about this, since he's the one who you're noticing this from.

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  • Either he has been hurt badly or has witnessed a great pain in the past by/to/with/against somebody else. Maybe it's rooted in trust or abandonment issues. You never know until you ask. Before you enter this conversation with him, be aware you may not like his answers. He may even Dodge the question. Assure him you aren't in the relationship to hurt him. Listen to him speak. Row through his bullshit and poker face and get to the truth. But if he does not wish to speak on it, don't be greedy. Before you end that same conversation, remind him of your goals for the both of you and restate that you aren't there to hurt or cause harm...

    Good luck!

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  • Why can't your boyfriend go hang out with his friends alone once in a while?

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    • Lmao. He invited me to hang with them.

  • He thinks you're interested in his cousin and friends.

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  • He is embarrassed to be seen with you.

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  • You answered your own question. He doesn't want to lose you

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What Girls Said 0

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