Is he too clingy?

Ok, so I was on Tinder in Hawaii on August 8th and met this guy on there. Thought he was cute so I swiped right. He talked to me first and then we exchanged Snapchats. Started talking more. We did meet in person before I had to fly back home on August 18th. But ever since we started talking more, he compliments me a lot, texts me everyday (I don’t mind that), keeps telling me to move to Hawaii so we could be together. (He’s in the USAirForce in Hawaii), talks about marriage sometimes, tells me how life would be perfect if I was there, said he gets bored if he doesn’t talk to me and then yesterday I was at work and I was busy and let my phone charge in my backpack with my portable charger. Well... he texted me after I told him I’ll text him back after I wasn’t busy and he texted me “ugh babe come back”, “I’m in a clingy mood right now and need you”, “ok babe, hurry back to me” and “Did I do something wrong?”. I told him I had an ex who was clingy and I didn’t like it. He said he would stop and he apologized for being annoying. Is he being too clingy? Is this a red flag or should I keep going in this relationship? I really like him but I’m not as obsessed as he is with me. It will take time for me to be obsessed with someone. But he is a really nice guy, super cute and cares for me. I just don’t know what to do? HELP?
Updates:
We do have each other’s pictures as our background on our phones. Since we forgot to take some together when we met in person.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I would be concerned because he's in the military and super clingy just because he's bored. Guys who are smart about relationships in the service... generally don't have relationships until they're ready to get out (or it's their career and you'd better be ready to follow them wherever).

    The thing is, will he still be this all over you when he gets out? When he's not so bored and has more freedom? He's not really thinking straight, and as a woman I wouldn't think it's a good quality if your male partner requires MORE emotional support from the get go than you do, regardless of why. Just sayin'.

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  • I don't understand this so please jump in whenever you want ladies and help me understand what's going on here this guy genuinely seems enter and wants to spend time with her shows her affection and he's clingy. Then the flip side of that is if he doesn't show her enough affection or doesn't seem to care then she'll be on here asking us why doesn't he care or why doesn't he show up any affection like I said ladies please jump in and help me out cuz I don't understand what going out here. Because I thought a woman wanted a guy to show her affection to make her a priority in his life

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    • I understand where you’re coming from, but both of these scenarios are/can be toxic. The latter is just fucked up, specially if it happens frequently, but the former ‘can’ be dangerous. If the couple have been together for a long time then it’s reasonable and even great! But if the obsession happens too fast and in a short period of time then only god knows how it will end. So really, it all depends on the circumstances.

    • Not since you put it that way it makes sense I just had to put that out there because it just seemed a little boy off I always hear women talk about how they wish their significant other would give them more attention and then you meet someone that does and they run scared

    • @shayk78 Thanks for the MHO

Most Helpful Girl

  • If I were in your situation, I'd love a kind of guy like him. I like clingy guys, it gets someway but it's so cute how they show they love you and all. Anyways, you've told him you're not a fan of clingy and he's listened and apologized so go on with him but if it gets too much, you can talk to him again and if it doesn't look like he's stopping, make the best decision that'll make you feel good.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 14

  • Whenever you feel annoyed by his neediness talk to him about it, he will eventually learn to keep it down a bit and it would be even natural for him in time, he just adores you that's all. Keep going he seems like a good catch! This neediness period ends eventually..

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  • I've always wondered this. There are clingy guys and clingy girls but it always sees like the clingy person ends up with someone who doesn't like it. What would it look like if a clingy guy and clingy girl ended up together.

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  • He has no one in his life. You give him hope. He found a pretty girl he is attracted to, wants to spend time with and considers you a friend. (Which is what every good guy wants..)

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  • Yeah his obsession is cool for the 1st day but after that. Gitta tell him. Cut it my dude.

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  • Military guys get lonely so I wouldn’t think too much of it. It’s fine you told him that he’s too clingy, hopefully he will correct himself and things will work out.

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  • See if he lives up to his promise. Maybe a yellow flag at this point.

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  • He's putting in his efforts. Don't push him away if you like him. Simple.

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  • Humm i think you are ok. But being in the service brings many chalkenges

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  • Am I detecting a pattern about the kind of personality in a man that attracts you?

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  • dont think so

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  • Psycho he is

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  • So
    I will get back

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  • Yup. too clingy.

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  • How old is he? Military guys sometimes get lonely and they are more likely “big picture” when it comes to marriage.

    He’s screwing this up though. He’s too available and lack of challenge.

    I think you did the right thing telling him that he was being clingy. He needs to hear that. Just watch his behavior from here.

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What Girls Said 6

  • He does seem very clingy. Have you talked to him about maybe toning down the obsessiveness? Has he listened? If not, it could be a red flag.

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    • Yeah, I did tell him yesterday, so I will see if he does it again today. I really like him and he is genuinely a nice guy.

  • You met 10 days ago and he's already telling you he wish you moved there and talks about marriage?
    Clingy.

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  • Honestly he is just being a little protective and a little clingy at the same time not a whole lot though so yes you should continue the relationship if you like/love him

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  • I mean if he apologized and stuff i mean just let him know when he is doing to much

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  • he needs to slow down. give you some space

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  • He does sound clingy. Try and wean him off a bit, don’t reply as fast, etc. or you could ask him to tone it down...

    If you don’t see this going anyway, you do have the option of ghosting, him being in a different state/country to you.

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