Guys, you message a girl online-would you rather be ignored or her tell you she isn't interested?

So, I'm trying my luck again with online dating (really hoping to get someone who won't throw my things out out of anger, scream at pipes/other inanimate objects, and lust toooo much after lolita anime girls.. ya know, the usual)

Guys, you message a girl online-would you rather be ignored or her tell you she isn't interested?

Some guys have messaged me that I'm just not feeling, how do I go about this?

I had a great talk with someone who responds to each message even if he isn't interested. And I think this is the best policy, I just want to see what more guys think :)
  • Ignore me pls
    Vote A
  • Tell me (nicely) you aren't interested
    Vote B
  • Other
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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247

Most Helpful Guys

  • "Thank you for your interest. I have reviewed your traits, qualifications, and experience. At this moment, I have decided that my interest lies elsewhere. Thank you for taking the time to contact me. I wish you well in all your future romantic endeavors. Warmly, XXX."

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  • Guys say they would rather be told "i'm not interested" but they don't. Anyone who puts themselves out there just want's a positive response. Using online dating I've only ever gotten one rejection response. The lady was really nice about. Since all others have been non responses it made me wonder how many times this lady did this for guys. She was really attractive it had/has to get tiring. Guys don't take women's non responses personal i know it's a sucky feeling but it's not because you're not attractive or even a catch. Not every woman will or should be interested in you.

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    • Yea, as for myself, I'd rather be ignored because I'll replay his words and misconstrue them in my head and take it really personal.
      So, would you personally be ignored or be told 'not interested'

    • It really doesn't matter to me. It's funny because online dating is a numbers game. i read once that a guy has to send out 114 messages on the avg. to get 1 response. lol, That's a lot of rejection. when you're trying to meet someone feelings come into play ( i would imagine this is harder for women since they tend to feel more). How are you not supposed to feel rejected. Easy as i said in my initial post not everyone is going to be interested in you nor should they. You have to keep in mind regardless of what you think of this person they don't know anything about you save what you put in your profile and they could be rejecting you based on 1 word you said in you profile. In short it's them not you. Know when they passed on you they messed up and passed on a good thing because you've got a lot going for you.

    • I like the way you think :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Lol, funny thing is you tell these guys you aren't interested, and you get a load of insults chucked at you.

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    • When you get 30+ messages a day, it is really unrealistic to tell each one you aren't interested, majority of people ignore (which is totally fine on a online dating site, people have done exactly the same to me and it tells you they're not interested) unless they don't get messaged much most people just don't answer.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 45

  • most girls just ignore the guy. I would like a nice straight forward message but at this point i don't expect it.

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    • What would you want her to say? Like what wording would be ideal in your opinion?

    • what you put in the poll is sufficient. just make it short and straight to the point

  • I'd rather she tell me why she isn't interested because the Feedback is useful.

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  • The ones that say not interested... I leave with a sense of respect for them
    thats much better...

    I just say thanks for letting me know and good luck
    but I know many guys start throwing out insults, so women just rather not respond...

    and I get it...

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    • Mm that's true, you see it happen quite a bit in real life "Hey beautiful" "Sorry, I have a boyfriend" "Well, you aren't even pretty anyway" that would be tiring, especially for a very popular woman.

    • Oh yea. It happens a lot of of times... more often than not
      Guys will just end up saying something really rude...

      And girls also get a lot of messages. So replying to every single one can be time consuming

      So I think it's fair and ok that if you don't get a response. It's fair to assume she's not really interested or busy with someone else

  • Ignoring is just plain rude. Like that's like someone coming up to you in person saying hey i like you then the girl just simply sit there and turn away as if they aren't there. Just because they aren't there in person doesn't mean the shit ain't hurtful. Now if the guy is dming you saying "lemme see dem tiddies" then go for it, Ignore them. They were rude to you first. Be rude back lol

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  • You’re going to get so many messages a day that you won’t have a choice but to ignore them. Not physically possible to answer every one.

    You picked a freakin weirdo previously though for real... lol

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    • haha @ the last part, I know... still cringing about it...

  • I'd rather get told that she isn't interested, even if it's just a copy paste text. No response at all makes me wonder if she even got it/read my message. I don't know if I got rejected, and this uncertainty is annoying. I rather know where we stand. And it kind of gives a vibe of "I don't even care enough about you for a response" which is harsh.

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  • Yes be honest. If you have the time then tell the guy you are not interested. But I also understand especially for girls it can be overwhelming to manage all online communication. Still honesty is always the right answer.

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  • Rather for her tell me. Cause karma is a bitch. One day someone she loves will do the same.

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    • You think it's disrespectful to ignore?

    • Show All
    • Ghosting or ignoring is soooo much easier but i just hate tge fact that if i do that. Which i have. Then itll happen to me. Which it did. Sucks, so thats why i tell people just drop a hint and move on.

    • mm thank you, guess I have a few messages to write :)

  • i did online dating i think i would have appreciated getting a brief and nice rejection rather than radio silence which i experienced more often than rejection

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  • As someone who has been on that end, I really prefer a polite "I'm not interested" (no need for any explanation). Otherwise, I'm wondering if they even saw my message, particularly since some sites and apps don't work very well. This way the next time I see that person, I know not to wats time (and her time).
    This is especially they're if you've had previous interaction or if you "matched" (like with tinder), in which case just ignoring can be down rude.
    If the guy doesn't take it well, at that point you do what you need to.

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    • I'll add that anybody in my position might try messaging again (and again), till I hear a rejection.

    • Very true, I feel bad but it's better to be upfront with someone :)

  • I would prefer to be told but I have heard some women say that they are so inundated with messages that they cannot possibly respond to them all so I wouldn't take it too personal.

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  • B? Although I may be a little weirded out if I'm just talking to a girl as a friend and she thinks I'm coming on to her.

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  • Some explain the ignoring with guys bombarding girls public profiles with messages, so they don't have time/don't want to message every single guy. They might miss someone they might like cause of this.

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  • If he is an ass or sends unsolicited and undesired pics of course do not reply. But if he is being nice or sincere and you don't feel it you should let him know so he is not wasting his time/$$ or foregoing another potential person as he sees how it develops with you. If they did not put much thought into it -like a message that just says "Hi" or "You're pretty"- then all you owe him is a "not interested". Treat them with the amount of respect and courtesy they have shown. That should apply equally in person as on line.

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  • I think it would be good to say specifically what about their profile made you not interested.
    Or if they just happen to have the wrong look then just say they aren't your type.

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  • I was going to say ignore but I guess it makes sense to tell him you are not interested. But nicely. Maybe you can still be friends possibly...

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  • The worst, bitchiest thing you can do is ignore them. Tell them you're simply not interested. If they get it and they back off them its all good. If they keep bothering you tho thats when you ignore/block them even

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  • It doesn't matter. Unless you're the one messaging them every day they should get the picture. If they don't they should raise a question and you should be honest. There should be no misunderstanding.

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  • It doesn't matter, the most normal is to get rejected, so ghosting is no, lets be friends is another no, there is no difference unless you really want to be his friend.

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  • On-line dating is tricky. Ignoring is rude if you showed interested in him at one point and he was polite and respectful to you. That said, give people the benefit of the doubt and say your not interested. displaying good manners is the best way to teach good manners.

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  • Well if they send like nasty messages ignore but personally I would like the girl to tell me she's not interested than just ignore me

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  • You can be rude and criticize any flaw too, it won't offend the guys as much as it does the girls and it might serve as an motivation for some who might even overcome those flaws
    (So technically you're bettering someone's life)

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  • Be upfront and tell them, if you're not harsh it should be alright 😋

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  • Just say something like, thank you for your interest, but I'm afraid that I don't feel the same way about you.

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  • A polite no thanks is preferable to not knowing if my message even got read.

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  • Absolutely B, whereas on dating sites A is often the case :-(

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  • Say she's not interested so I know I can move on and look elsewhere.

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  • Tell us you're not interested, and if the dude blows up at you then you've dodged a bullet

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  • Ignorance feels like "Uh, I'm so superior I won't even bother responding to you".

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  • Show more from Guys
    15

What Girls Said 1

  • Of prefer it if a guy told me instead especially if we'd already been on a couple of dates and I liked him because it'd hurt less in the long run

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