Online dating profile? Guys and Gals.


My friend likes to go through her boyfriends email, phone, you name it--she looks through it from time to time (I don't promote this sort of behavior by the way, I think it's a serious invasion of privacy and have told her repeatedly that if she goes looking, eventually she'll see something she doesn't like that's really nothing and flip out of it).

Recently she thought she'd check her boyfriend's email, well, turns out he signed up for an online dating service not even a week ago (something he's done before mind you, his excuse "Oh I had that loooong before I met you"). I get the call about "what should I do" and personally, I think she should confront him because to me, THAT'S A HUGE RED FLAG.

He hadn't sent any messages to anyone or posted a picture, but he had several women "wink" at him on said site. My buddy dropped it after talking to a friend of hers who told her there was no sense in "causing drama" when there was none but to "keep checking the profile".

Me, being the friend I am, thinks that he's using this site to pick up women and frankly, I want to catch him doing it (but that's another story) so that she can get away from this asshole (they have waaaaaay more issues than online dating profiles) for GOOD.

His profile says he's looking for a 18-22 year old, widowed or newly single.

Am I being paranoid or do you think I'm right?

  • You're not remotely paranoid about this, chances are you're probably right.
    Vote A
  • You shouldn't worry about this, chances are the guy is just using it to stroke his ego.
    Vote B
  • Neither of the above, my answer is posted.
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Guy

  • there both in the wrong , she shouldn't be going through his email and he shouldn't be signing up for dating sites . its makes little sense as to why he's sign up for the dating site if he had a girlfriend . it could be cause he feels its a way to meet girls as ones in real life know he has a girlfriend , so online ones don't know and could be seen by him as options . I do think its a red flag to be totally honest , but her searching through his stuff is one too and a sign she doesn't trust him and thinks he's up to know good .

    is it time to end this relationship , more than likely less , get it over with now before it gets worse


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What Guys Said 5

  • well A, I think she's kinda bitchy that's like a 12 year old thing to do check the guys messages and all. plus I get signed up for those things all the time, all websites share your info with each other... so he probably didn't even sign up for it... like how I mysteriosly got an account for an all black dating website... I'm white. so yeah, I think yallre both overreacting

  • A) Your friend should stop being so overbearing in terms of nosiness. It's not good for her, or her relationships.

    B) Your friend's friend had a solid point. No sense in making unnecessary drama, and he could just be doing it for kicks or something, but it would be sensible to keep tabs on that profile.

    C) I can't believe "widowed" is an option. That sounds predatory. Brings to mind Will Ferrell at the end of Wedding Crashers. It just sounds wrong to target widows. If she asks him about it, she should also ask why he put looking for "widowed."

  • i think the girlfriend is a tool

  • As a guy who has signed up for online dating sites before, "women" will wink at you and send you random messages in order to get you to upgrade, these are just computers. There are a few legit dating sites like plentyoffish, okcupid, etc.

    If I ever caught my girlfriend going through my personal email or phone, I wouldn't speak to her for a week at the very least and I'd most likely dump her at the end of it as I am a very open kind of guy and am big on communication. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. I had a girlfriend who was always worried that I would leave her. Eventually she drove me to do so because she was so paranoid about it, I couldn't get any alone time. She needs to fix herself before she can get into a decent relationship with someone.

  • I think your friend is over reacting.

    Perhaps to make sure that he isn't a player, you should bait him by signing up to and pretend to hit on him with a fake name. Perhaps he will take the bait and show how evil he really is.


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