Am I using date seeking websites to handle a breakup/fill a void?

In short, I had a girlfriend for a year, she left me for someone else, I cried for a long time. Anyway, I have been incessantly searching for date websites. One after the other, I create a free account, see if anyone lives close by. They say their free, but most do not allow messaging. I even signed up for one and I find all of the accounts are FAKE. And even when I do find some in my area, they aren't my age or that interesting. If I found someone, I don't think it would work out anyway. I'm not sure nothing would match my last relationship, for a very long time. I guess because of the strong emotional bond that my last girlfriend I had in a point in time, I'm looking for female dating company to cope. My problem is that I keep checking these cites, although I know nothing will come out of them. Basically, I'm wasting my time. So should I be counting to ten before I type in a date seeking website? I just need to stop thinking about it, its not healthy. It almost became like an addiction. I just want someone else's perspective on this. I go to cyber school and really won't have a chance to flirt with other women until next year. I work, but all of the women at work are my friends, they could never be anything more. I know I sound like an idiot from your standpoint, "Why can't he just stop going on these cites?" Its not as simple as its sounds. I guess I'm doing it to try to fill something in my chest. I have never done this date sight seeking before I met the girl that broke up with me. Anyway, I will do my best to not type them in. What is your perspective?

When I do it its kinda compulsive too.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Firstly, CALM DOWN. Take a deep breath without any thoughts in mind. OK. Hands down it sucks to be in such a position. We cry, we get emotional, we get angry, we get upset. You name it, we got it. But this ain't a healthy way to overcome a break-up. Impulsively getting on with other girls without dealing with yourself emotionally will just add on to the pile of issues you need to overcome with. It purely invites MORE TROUBLE (and we wouldn't want that, would we?) Moreover, a man with any respect to himself would always learn to deal with his ownself regardless how painful a break-up is, hold his head high and move on with life; Even you've been emotionally attached to her, it's time to move on with life. Life is too short for you to waste.

    Don't take it personally that she left you for someone else. It's all easier said than done, but instead of channeling negative energy to yourself, use this energy of yours to make a better, and more positive you. Maybe in a few years time when you look back at this, you'll realize that perhaps it wasn't all worth all these impulsive reaction at all.

    Here are a few suggestions for you to "fill in the void" or to handle this break-up: cry it out totally for a short while, and talk it out to your friends or anyone if it makes you feel any better. Then accept what has happened. Remove all items or memory triggering stuff at sight. Then spend your time, focus and energy with your work, spend loads of time in your hobbies and ultimately, keep yourself busy with CONSTRUCTIVE activities. It's time to love yourself and to do things that will help and develop you. It's also a good time to catch-up in doing things that you've enjoyed doing individually. A good girl knows when to date a good, matured guy who knows how to take care of himself.

    It takes time to heal. We understand what you are going through, but once you've accepted this situation, don't dwell on it anymore. Avoid spending all day going through those websites or laptop or computer and fill those time with something else which are good, be it doing sports, cooking, planting, helping ya family out etc.. Fundamentally, one of the key elements to a good, strong relationship is to be a good, strong person from within ;) I wish you best of luck and feel free to type more if I can be of any help. take care *hugs*

    • First of all, thanks for taking the time to type all of that down.I realize that I indeed could be developing my character instead of wasting my time degrading it. I will be doing more of my constructive activities and enjoying myself. I'm going to make sure I don't type in those websites.For example, I like to write my novel in my spare time, so I will do my best to focus on that. With school out of the way for x-mas vacation, I can focus on myself.

    • I will build myself into a good character for a potential worthy partner in the future. This is what I got out of this post and I thank you for that. It's very insightful and enlightening. Thanks :)

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