If you tell your partner you want to take a break, what does it mean?

To say this in a post-it note or a text. . . very cowardly!
To say this in a post-it note or a text. . . very cowardly!
If you have much experience dating, you have probably had a partner tell you that they wanted to take a break. Maybe you have told a partner that you needed a break. Invariably, there is much going on in the relationship which is not being discussed.

If you have ever told a partner that you needed a break, you weren't being completely candid with them, were you? There was more happening which you didn't want to discuss. What was really going on? If you have had a partner utter these words to you, what did you eventually come to understand about their meaning? Did they literally mean what they said or was there more going on below the surface?
  • I've never had a partner
    Vote A
  • I've never told a partner that I needed a break
    Vote B
  • I told a partner I wanted a break because they were too clingy and I wanted them to back off
    Vote C
  • I told a partner I wanted a break because I wanted some time to think about us.
    Vote D
  • I told a partner I wanted a break because I wanted to break up and this was the easiest way to do it.
    Vote E
  • I told a partner I wanted a break because I didn't want to feel guilty about spending time with someone else
    Vote F
  • I told a partner I wanted a break because i was annoyed with their sorry ass and wanted some distance
    Vote G
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I've already been told that. He said "i think we need a break". It broke my heart to pieces and i cried the whole night cause of him, cause to me that was a break up.
    Then a week later he comes back, tells me he's sorry for what he said but that he said that cause he felt things were getting too intense between us (in other words he was falling for me but didn't want to), so i told him kindly to go fuck himself. That I wasn't a job for him to take a break whenever he feels like it. He felt bad about. I was already over it.

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    • Passion and desire are non-negotiable. Once it's gone there's no getting it back.
      I applaud you.

    • Thank you for MHO 😊

Most Helpful Guys

  • She told she wanted a break because she needed time to think about our relationship and all that bs but I didn't accept it and said if she wanted a break then she needed to break up with me and she did. Later I found out that the same day she texted a guy saying she wanted to hook up so...

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    • Dishonesty blows!

    • Show All
    • @Unit1 What you are telling her is "if you want to break up, you don't need my permission so go ahead and go screw whoever you want. But if you decide that this was a mistake and you want to get back together, then it is MY decision to make and I will judge you on how you have treated me. . . which is obviously not very good, since you are not being loyal to me!"

    • Perfect response! Thanks a lot my friend!

  • I don't do polls.
    If you can't make it work together how the hell will you make it work apart?
    Taking a break = failure. Time to move on.

    Why people keep on with others when there is no passion is completely baffling to me, I really just don't get it. If you're not gaga over your lover then cut them loose and find one that you are. It's not fair to either partner.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 17

  • There are two different kinds
    -a break
    -a break up
    A break is literally like hitting pause, you both just take some time to yourselves to think about the relationship or to think about yourselves people and you don’t see other people and you eventually come back together and you continue as you were.
    A break up is a break up, that means it’s over done with, you can pursue other people, etc.

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    • I absolutely understand the literal meaning of the two phrases. I also understand that people, quite often, say one thing when they mean another. For many people, "let's take a break," means "I want to break up but don't want to have the break up talk because I can't handle anything that might be confrontational."

  • It means, i want the relationship to end... period! I personally don't believe in taking a break then coming back, why bother, there's a reason why you have a partner and to just say wait i want a rest from you its another way of saying lets let go of each other... thats what i think, and from experience too. But hey i could be wrong too... so you dont need to agree with me.

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  • I don't take breaks. I stick it out until we work it out or it ends. And once it ends I don't go back. I've never had anyone tell me they needed a break. I've only had two long term partners one for 15 years and my current for 3 years.

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  • It would mean I needed time to catch my breath. When life gets hectic it’s not always easy to see a partner clear when you’ve got other things going on. I don’t see a problem with taking a break. In fact if I’m asking for one and denied the relationship would be at a standstill. I need time to process my thoughts and feelings. If I’m not given that opportunity my actions aren’t always rational.

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  • It means you two things:
    a. they love you too much they need to clear their head on how to make things work out or is it worth fighting for?
    b. they are falling out of love for you and they are slowly moving on leading to them breaking up with you

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  • It's a weird thing tbh. Cause you can't just tell your wife or husband "I need a break from being your spouse."

    However if I'm going through a critical time of my life, wanting a break would mean that I'd like some time alone. I don't think that I would use the word 'break' easily though. It just sounds so wrong and it is so easy to misunderstand this word.

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  • If you need a break that usually means that you aren't willing to discuss with your partner. What's a lazy excuse

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  • Combo of 4,5,6. Sometimes people wanna take a break if they see the relationship isn't going where they'd like and if they feel mistreated

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  • It means I need space. I don't want to break up, I just need to remind myself that there are other things than you.

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  • It means the two aren’t strong enough to weather relationship problems. It is actually a breakup

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  • You're weighing whether you love him/her any longer.

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  • she might seen someone interesting and she may need some time to think about it

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  • Never had a one

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  • They want more options bc you're not working out

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  • I told a partner I wanted a break because I didn't want to feel guilty about spending time with someone else

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  • If y’all have to take a break then the relationship is already done for. 🤷‍♀️

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  • I was told he needed a break. The next day I found out he went out with a girl a few days before, and I supposed he was just too coward to break up... or maybe he didn't want to lose both of us in case things didn't work out with her, so I told him to just break up.

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What Guys Said 28

  • it depended on the situation. i've told girls i wanted breaks because i wanted to see if the relationship was really worth it. i've told girls i wanted a little space if things were moving to fast (but not officially a break since we still saw each other). i've never done it but i think people also say they want a break that is effectively a trial separation and prequel to a break up

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  • I have definitely done D (needed time to think) but there is an element it could be any or all the options. There are no two ways about it, the relationship is in trouble. If everything is hunky dory the last thing on your mind is taking a break, if it is dead you both walk away - "Taking a break" is code for "Is Relationship worth saving?"

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  • It can mean a lot of things. But what i think is that, he maybe dealing with some problems in his life that it is hard to take the responsibility of a relationship along. or maybe the relationship is not turning the way he desired. So he maybe worried about that. Whatever the case mayne. Give him some time. It is completely normal to hear such things from yoir partner. But don't forget to ask him why compassionately.

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  • I've never wanted to take a break from a relationship, it doesn't solve any problems, it just prolongs the suffering, it's something you do when you're in denial and I have been with mostly very mature women and they understand that taking a break is pointless. If a relationship isn't working out, there's a 90% chance that it will either stay that way or gradually get worse...

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  • Means that you feel things have stagnated. Calling it a 'break' is a way to 'soften' the blow. In all fairness, just get it over with and call it quits. Calling it a break also means the other one should feel guilty if he or she has sex with someone else. These half-measures are a recipe for catastrophe.

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  • I have never told a partner that I needed a break. And I personally feel that "needing a break" is a sign that we should just end the relationship entirely.

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  • To me it was to her over heartbreaking issues that damn near killed the “good guy “ in me it gave me time to overlook and decide if that’s what I wanted or not in a partner

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  • It could mean any number of things but usually if you hear the words "I need more space" it usually means things are not working out, they have doubts or they are interested in someone else and want to keep their options open.

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  • Sometimes a break is just a way of getting some breathing room. Sometimes it's a euphemism for an impending breakup. Sometimes it's an excuse to go out and get some strange. And sometimes it's just a break.

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  • The only time I was ever told this statement was when I was on military duty and my ex at the time was cheating but didn't want to feel guilty about continuing to cheat, but also didn't want to break up with me yet because I was still away... but yeah, it could mean anything. It is almost impossible for it to mean anything good though. Or else should would have likely directly addressed all of your possible concerns together with that statement on her own initiative... If you ask directly about such things though she may straight up lie or tell you it's none of your business though. Anyways, hate that statement.

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  • I've not done it myself however if i did, the relationship is over. To even think such a thing means something is seriously wrong beyond repair.

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  • Taking a break is a way of saying I want to break up. Taking a break form him is a way to justify you future activities.

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  • Never had this happen to me but if partner told me she needed a break I would immediately break up with her.

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  • It could mean anything it's a vague statement

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  • If I had a partner that said that, I'd tell them, "NO, it's over."
    I don't believe in taking a break.

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  • I was trying to break up with her but she keep asking for chances... I was getting fed up of all the lies n the cheating so I asked her for a break

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  • Breaks aren't fair to either person. Either you're together or not

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  • I don't like the break option when it pops up in a relationship. Usually it means a negative trait. Healthy relationship never require break up

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  • It means their partner is free to go and sleep with the woman from the copy shop. :)

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  • I need a break = I'm thinking about breaking up with you.

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  • There aren't breaks in relationships, you're either in one or not

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  • Means there is someone else I they are interested in and want to see if it will work. If not they want you as a backup plan.

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  • If i need a break i need it to be for myself and be alone for a while

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  • Because I will only tell a partner when am really tired, but not for other reason

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  • I've never had a partner, never will

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  • Ask Ross

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  • She wants some new dick

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  • in my opinion, ross was not at fault! it was a break! a break is basically a breakup without the "up" part. I've never been on a break before, but rachel has no right to be mad at ross because they were temporarily broken up!

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    • It was not right! He was a mess the moment she broke up with him... u don't drink when you are upset! It just causes you to do stupid things -.- like sleep with the copy-girl
      Healthy mature relationships can have a break... it can mean many things, a break from an argument that u don't want to discuss late at night when you are tired and exhausted from work. A break when neither of you are effectively having an argument and it just ends up being a screaming match. It can mean a break when someone cheats and you don't know what to do, so u go on a break until u decide. It could be ambiguous and string someone along when they go away for studies/work... in that case, u don't break, you break up or do a long distance relationship. That's not a deal excuse for a break

    • in my opinion a break is the same thing as a breakup, just the person who initiates the break doesn't have the balls to add the last two letters. i stand by what i said.

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