Most Helpful Guys
I think what's actually happening here is that you're starting to see who he truly is. You've been with him for a while and through one big break up with him, if the things you are talking about were bump in the road kind of things that you just needed to break out the negotiating and understanding skills, I'd say to start communicating and be prepared to take some constructive criticism from him. That's not at all what it sounds like from your description.
1 - He sounds unwilling to negotiate in the relationship. He actively shuts down that give-take dynamic with "if you're like this I'm leaving", going straight to a demand, an ultimatum, so that he doesn't have to negotiate with you. Relationships don't work with demands from either party. Yes, both parties have needs that MUST be met by the other for things to work, but the framework for taking care of each other has to be negotiating for those needs so that both parties needs are acknowledged. Demands leave no room for your partner to have expectations of you too, they put all the responsibility on one person. Essentially your boyfriend is saying "you're going to think/give me what I want, and I'm owed that so I don't have to give anything back to you to get this from you." That's not how this works. Generally I think people who threaten to leave, ought to be told by their partners "there's the door. If you're going to stay, I'm willing to work together. If you're going to issue threats and make demands, then you really only leave me the choice of take it or leave it, and I'll leave it if those are my only choices."
2 - He's on Tinder, and you're busy trying to make everything up to him! You've taken every single bit of responsibility for the break up on your shoulders. That's not right. He said and did things that hurt you too, clearly, and break ups are almost never entirely one party's exclusive fault unless that person is truly self centered, which you do not come off as being.
He's not taking responsibility for his part of this relationship with you nor for his part in the breakup. He's showing himself to be willing to take all of the benefits and power in a relationship without offering anything in return. I'm saying this as a very Dominant person myself. I want a lot of power in a relationship, especially in the bedroom, but if I want that I have to be willing to take a tremendous amount of responsibility for my partner's happiness and well being. One without the other is really just using someone.
Wow, you are so 20!!
First-you broke up for a reason. Unless that issue was solved when you reconnected then the relationship will return to that issue and you will break up again
Second-much easier for girls to get sex than guys-choice vs. chore. He has sex with you but it is not loving or tender-its sex. He doesn't want to commit emotionaly (take it slow) and the sex is not loving. Figure it out.
Third-Most guys learn that when they break up with a regular girlfriend that they no longer can get reasonably steady sex. Thus they are reluctant to release until they have a replacement
Fourth-Many guys would keep having sex with you even if they started something up with someone else. Men like variety (Even see that calendar for married men? Same picture every month) and most would not mind a piece on the side for variety and spice. If there is a reasonable likelihood his activities won't be exposed (to his new squeeze) then he would keep you as a side dish (explaining to you he is "taking it slow")
Fifth-the fact he wants you off Tinder but is still on himself is telling. He wants himself to be your priority and you to be his option.
Sixth-The person who cares the least controls the relationship.
Open your eyes. It is amazing how we cling to hopes in the face of evidence to the contrary. Don't fool yourself. Take back your dignity. He is NOT the only one out there.
Good luck to you!
Most Helpful Girl
He's manipulative. It's more like love your body needs, but not your soul. Well, he always plays with you. He doesn't want to be with you, like he said, he's no longer attracted to you and whenever you start flirting with someone POOF! He's there again and saying maybe we should try again. He is with you because of the memories or like... addiction. One day he will find someone and leave you, then you'll be heartbroken and won't have anything by your side. I would suggest you to end up things as fast as you can, you can't live with memories holding you. He's there for you, because it is difficult to be lonely.