How long after dating someone do you ask to be official?

Updates:
Ok something I want to address is the reason why you asked someone. I get it may come more naturally to some but to me its more on the lines of clear communication. A guy or girl is still allowed to see and to talk to other people while they are still technically single. The question is more to see where the other person is at.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • A bit after a month or 5-6 dates. Long enough that if they were putting on an act to impress you, their true selves came through and you'd know. So if after this time they're still cool and not clingy or have issues, you know they were genuine and being themselves.

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  • I struggle with this too. I've dated a girl for 6 months and we never became official, and another girl we were official after a few weeks. I wish there was a clear-cut answer to these questions, but the truth is it just depends. How often do you see each other? How often do you talk? More importantly how do those interactions go? Therein lies your answer.

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    • I can totally relate to wanting to know if the other person is "talking" to other people. The way I've gone about it before is saying something along these lines "I want you to know that I'm not seeing any other people." Usually after you say that the person does something that gives away whether they are or not-- either they say they aren't seeing anyone else, or they kind of hesitate. At this point you can follow up by saying something along the lines of "I just want to know if you're seeing other people so I can be fair to myself."

Most Helpful Girls

  • My current boyfriend and I made it offical the 1st time we met.
    We met, had sex, and made it offical all in that order. We had talked for a week or so prior to actually meeting. We've been together almost 3 1/2 years now. When i asked him why he made it official so quick he said he felt a spark and just new. Whatever that means. But it worked for us. But it really varies.

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  • I’ve been seeing a guy almost 6 months and we still don’t have the label. We’re happy with what we have and know we’re loyal to each other. Not everything needs a label

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 25

  • If your dating them. Then your official.. already.. Its not like your just seeing them a lot or having conversations about dating others..

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  • it comes naturally by itself i did not ask my girlfriend that im now with for 2 months are we together?
    i did not ask her you just know that

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  • Depends on the couple - I would probably have the conversation when I felt we really clicked, no time limit.

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  • 2 weeks to a month depending on the 2nd date I'm pretty busy so that gives me enough time to tell if it'll be worth trying

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  • I don't go on dates with anyone that I am not in a relationship with.

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  • I usually end up 'claimed' quickly. She makes if official

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  • Shortly after the first time some one says I love you.

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  • Personally after like 5 to 10 dates. Depends on how well we connect.

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  • It depends really but also "ask" is not the word I'd use here haha

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  • I don't ever "ask", it's just something that develops naturally.

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  • Depends how fast we open up, how mature we are and how compatible we are. 2-3 months.

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  • No more than a week or just let it naturally become natural

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  • about a month, maybe 2 depending on how often you actually get to see each other.

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  • It all really depends, but I think most appropriate would be after maybe 2 months

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  • There are no rules

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    • I know there aren’t but i am just wondering how long other people have done it. My first two relationships I was asked out within a week and my last relationship i asled them after about a month.

    • You have your answer. It varies

  • Whenever we feel it

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  • A month

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  • Any time

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  • A month

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  • Im usually use the 2 months rule.

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  • See how we get on first then one step at a time

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  • Three dates or one month. Which ever comes first

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  • last time around i lightly dated a few women for 3 months, while mostly focused on 1. We were open about it. I decided to go all in after I fell in love. She said she knew before I did that I would fall

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  • Have you ever seen someone do that immediately cause I have

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  • Official letter?

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What Girls Said 20

  • Never let him ask

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  • After 2 years if he even reaches that. Scientifically the hormones subside after that period and reality kicks In so we'll see if it still the same feelings, still the same treatments and tolerance.

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  • About a month of getting to know eachother and about 4-5 dates do I know if he's boyfriend material and someone I care to pursue a deeper relationship with.

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  • Maybe a month or so? Depends how often you’ve been seeing them each week or month. And I guess you have to have that conversation to know they’re on the same page!

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  • I don't even understand what that is. I just play it by ear and don't post my shit all over social media.

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  • My boyfriend and I never really made it official, he just assumed we were boyfriend and girlfriend from the first time we started dating.

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  • Why should you need to ask? wouldn't that be forcing love?

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  • In the past every time I asked it was already implied

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  • I was dating my boyfriend for 1 month until we became official

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  • Depends on your connection.

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  • 2 weeks. dont waste my time

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  • Fifty years, no more, no less.

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  • A month

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  • One date is all it takes.

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  • It depends if you knew the guy before dating, how you met, how much you have hung out, how often you go on dates. It could be a week or a couple of months depending on the situation

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  • I don't understand why would you need to ask to be official, if you feel it, it just comes naturally into play. No permission to be required.

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  • Whenever it feels right. The term ‘official’ varies between couples.

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  • I asked the "what are we" question the day after we had sex for the first time and it lead to being in a relationship officially 2 months in.

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  • 2 weeks although last time it took me 2 months

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  • It varies... mine have been 1-3months but I’m currently on month 4 with a guy and we aren’t official yet

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