Basically, he can’t handle compliments and calls himself ugly and that nobody likes him. But FUCK, he is SO HANDSOME. He jokes about me possibly being high on drugs for even finding him good looking.
Apparently he was bullied at school as a kid and beaten up really bad. And he suffers from really Low self esteem. He also had an abusive Long distance relationship (girl would tell him never to talk to or meet with girls) whereby the girl was actually who ended up sleeping with guys.
Should I avoid this type of guy for his own good where he can be on the road of self-discovery? He’s such a sweet guy though, when I criticised those bullies and cursed karma on them, he was like “I wouldn’t want to hurt them, I feel guilty if I hurt people”. 😩
Most Helpful Guys
Well first if being insecure about your looks is a red flag, every woman I've ever known is waving one lol
If you like him you shouldn't take that as a red flag. Really its probably a green flag because if he thinks he's a bit undeserving of you or lucky he'll probably treat you better, since he won't think you'll stay around just for the looks.
Also if your worried about him finding self esteem, you'd be helping him more by saying him and showing him that his current self image has wrong.
I feel like I can relate to this guy all too well. I don't think there's anything wrong with him so far.
He may be "broken" but I bet he's truly selfless and will treat you amazingly, as though you mean the world to him, because you will mean just that, and he'll likely be afraid to lose you as long as you treat him well too.
He probably has a very realistic outlook on life, which is actually very healthy.
As for the self-discovery thing, he can still do that in a relationship. Speaking from experience, it certainly helped to have that special someone with whom I felt closer than even my immediate family. And I was devastated when I lost her.
The only possible downsides I can think of are that he may be depressed (not to a suicidal extent), but having someone by his side may help with that, and he may not be very close to his family. That may or may not be a red flag, but that really depends on the family.
Most Helpful Girls
I would stick it out with him.
He's obviously aching and in need of tender loving care.
Be that for him, give him complements, but tone them down. The key is too not give complements so much that they become meaningless. Give him a small but very meaningful compliment every know and then. And don't let them be all on his appearance. Complement his smarts, tell him how kind or how funny he is, or if he lends you a hand, tell him how much you appreciate the gesture.
You can't force him to love himself. You have to show him love. Gradually, he will grow in himself and the past and its hurt will be just a memory.
Best wishes and much love! ❤