How should I tell my friends with benefits that I have feelings for him?

I’ve considered messaging him, telling him in person, or asking him out but not telling him and just hoping he gets the hint. I’ve also considered just not telling him at all lol. What should I do? How should I do it?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • well if you tell him he could agree but he could also stop seeing you because it was just supposed to be a friends with benefits and he is not looking for a relationship rn or he could be interested in someone else. the safest bet is not say anything and you can still have fun with him in bed but you could fall more strongly for him and end up hurt. Why did you develop feelings for him?

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    • I didn’t catch feelings until the second time we had sex. It was just different, he was more affectionate like he was kissing my forehead and shoulder and after we would talk about deep things even told me some personal stuff. Even before and after the sex when we were in his car he was holding my hand and kissing it and putting his hand on my thigh. And so i guess the intimacy and affection lead me to develop feelings

    • hmmm well the good news is it sounds like he likes you lol so you could take a chance but its up to you. hopefully the sex is good and he has a big one for you ;P

  • If you tell him, he may not feel the same way and it may end the relationship, but. . . would you be content just being friends with benefits the rest of your lives?

    If you don't tell him, you will regret it the rest of your life, so there really isn't much choice. You should tell him.

    How important is this matter? Isn't it important enough to discuss in person. If he feels the same way and you develop a more lasting relationship, establish a precedent for how you will handle important matters. . . in person, candidly and sincerely.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I wouldn't. You're a piece of ass to him. That's not to disrespect you, but, come on; men generally don't want to date the girl who is the easy fuck. If it's just sex, it's always going to just be about sex for guys. Admitting you have feelings is pretty much cornering a guy who you agreed to fuck without any feelings. He might feel catfished/tricked.

    But, if you can't live without wondering "what if," go ahead, but it's not likely going to end how you want it. Then again, who knows? Maybe you'll be the exception.

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    • Usually in a situation like this I’d just keep quiet or just not have sex with them again for a while. The main reason why I’m even considering telling him is because sometimes like even outside of the he’d be affectionate, or tell me i’m beautiful and he’s even asked me to go on a trip with him. I just need to know where we’re at

  • In all honesty, I think what is best for you is to sit him down in person and tell him that you need to end your arrangement with him because you're developing feelings. If he feels the same, he'll say something. If he doesn't feel the same, it's best that it ends because it isn't good for you to be in that sort of relationship with someone when you want more and they don't.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 29

  • First of all, why are you friends with benefits instead of in a relationship in the first place?

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  • He is a guy. He will NEVER and I can't stress this enough NEVER EVER get your "hint".

    The odds are very high that he won't feel the same. It is a stereotype that girls can't do friends with benefits because they always catch feelings. Men aren't built like that.

    If you can't bring yourself to tell him that the inevitable has happened, then just stop fucking him and find a guy who wants you for more than sex.

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  • I am not much of a friends with benefits type of guy, I like monogamy, If I'm investing in someone my time and my energy, I want them to be mine!

    A successful real estate developer told me once, don't invest in someone else's property. I took that advice, never have invested in someone or something that is not devoted to me.

    I would suggest, not telling him, that you are head over heals over him, and that you love and can't live with out him. and because of that you want him to be devoted to you only! and not just a girl that he sees to release his sexual energy on. Instead you should take a different approach, tell him that you are not willing to spend time with someone if they are not devoted to you, and that you see that as a waste of time. "you like him, but if thats what he wants, you are going to break what type of relationship you guys have going on and will find someone to call yours!"

    My predictions are, he will first break it off, but will come around within a month or so. and you will get what you want!

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  • Ask him if he wants to grab something to eat before or after. Thats sort of like i date but you dont have to "stick your nose out that far" if he agrees toy can try building on that over time or tell him somewhere along the line. isn't that what all gals do?🙂

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  • Get clear and specific on what you want from him and ask for it. Don't ask for any more commitment than you want, but don't ask for less, either. I think it's smart to tell him the truth--that you like him and maybe want greater intimacy--and ask if he feels that too. Tell him that you want him to take you out on a date but give him the option to say no. If yes, great. If no, you have the options to stay FWBs or choose someone else cute.

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  • Remain friends with benefits. Relationships can become ugly things and when they end, people often don't see each other. Friendships, on the other hand, can last a long time. Even if the benefits end at some point, you can still see each other.

    You can keep your eyes open for someone else and once you've found someone, drop a hint that you might get serious with that person. Then he'll either act to make you stay with him or wish you good luck. Either way, you can move on with someone :)

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  • You can say something, but it might not make a difference, and could possibly end it if he feels he is not interested in a relationship. The best way for a woman to have a friends with benefits and minimize the emotions is to have 2 FWBs. It will slow your natural tendency to become attached to a person you sleep with. But, because you tend to feel close to someone you sleep with, it's not that much of a guarantee.

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  • No hints, either do it or don't. You girls always give only stupid small hints and then you are mad when a guy won't get it.

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  • Honestly, I think you should tell him. And I think you should do so in person. Do it when you have a moment with just him, but do NOT do it in bed!

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  • I like the ideas of hanging out in areas where sex isn't an option and see how it goes for a while. Commenting on how nice it is to just be with eachother periodically to see how it works

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  • yes i think that should be a rule of friends with benefits. if you catch feelings, you should tell them, cause it changes everything.

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  • You should never have a friends with benefits...

    Wait for marriage and seek Jesus

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  • Ugh another one. There's always gotta be a friends with benefits question. You people are too sexually casual

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  • Be prepared to not get the same response. I don't know how you two are, but who knows what will happen. It would be best to tell him in person.

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  • If you tell him, that won't end well. If you get to get closer to him in a romantic or relationship way it's better that just telling him you have feelings

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  • You only got one life. Just do it how u see fit whether in person or messaging or through another person. There's no harm in asking anyway

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  • You're his cum dump now. Even if he says yes the relationship won't be that serious but you should just meet up and tell him how you feel.

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  • what's the harm in telling him? You don't think hell feel the same?

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  • If you decide to tell him, talking to them in person is usually the best choice.

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  • Tell him you have feelings for him, what are you afraid of

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  • Sometimes love is best unsaid.

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  • Just tell him

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  • U say sup u want this come and get it rarrrrr!

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  • Tell him in person

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  • Just tell him don't beat around the bush.

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  • I would tell him during or after

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  • Telling him in person

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  • End the friends with benefits. It's over.

    If he wanted to date you he would. He isn't dating you. It's not that he needs to get the hint. You're the one that needs to get the hint.

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  • Just be honest. I mean the first part is friend, so...

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What Girls Said 9

  • Maybe he would drop you or maybe not. If he was happy the way things are now, just having a fuck buddy, he would not be happy if you came out that you had feelings and he would dump you so not to have drama and that awkward feeling. If he was really looking for a wholesome girl to marry he would probably dump you. If he enjoyed the sex and felt the same as you but didn't want to tell you because you might dump him, they you got a match. Proceed to Go and collect $200.

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  • Well you can start off by just being more sweet and asking to just hang with him. No sex. Just hang. It's a pretty obvious hint that you like him.

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  • I would tell him and see how it Goes and if its not the same for me I wouldn't stay friends with benefits with him cause that shit dont work, for me at least

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  • I'd tell him in person. Just... try to start a conversation, then find a way that leads to this topic (or just be straightforward, whatever feels better)

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  • honestly if you tell him you might end what you have and not get anything more. but if you have feelings for him then in the end its not going to be fun for you anyways. All friends with beneifits has some kinda of out line for the relationship not sure what yours is... but maybe the next time you hook up just casually ask him to go out with you. make it clear that its just the two of you so no third party ends up taking along and make sure its something you both enjoy and is public. its hard to get a relationship once its already started sexually

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  • Tell him during sex

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  • just tell it to him

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  • Do it in person, if possible and be upfront. The thing is, you have to accept the fact if he DOESN'T feel that way and be ready to walk away from the friends with benefits. It'll just hurt you more if you hope he catches feels, eventually.

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  • Don’t tell him. Ghost him and break his heart. Then he’ll have feelings and want you more. You’ll have the power. Then you can be together lmao. Please trust me.

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