If a girl tells a guy she’s into him, is it a turn off?

Guys, need your help on this! I met this guy back in January and we had an instant connection. Things were going great for about 2 months and then he told me he decided to work things out with his daughters mother. I was hurt but told him I respected his decision. Since then we have gone out with mutual friends, hungout here or there, strictly as friends. Well, last week I had tickets to a concert and all my regulars couldn’t go so I invited him. It was the first time we hungout 1 on 1. I asked him how things were going with his relationship and he said it didn’t workout, etc. By the end of the concert he sent me a text saying he wanted to move forward with me, however, we were pretty wasted. Next day was Friday, we texted all day recapping the night. Saturday he was going to see a client and invited me to go with in Austin, so I did and we spent the whole weekend together. But, now that we are back we have only texted. I can be very stand-offish and have a feeling he is intimidated by me and is not sure how I feel about him. He did ask me if I was mad at him because I hadn’t kissed him the whole night. So i want to tell him how I feel but don’t know how. Should I or just let things be? Opinions? Feel free to ask questions. Thanks everyone!

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Most Helpful Guys

  • If I was you I wouldn't do it because he's fresh out of a relationship you don't know if he'll go back again and you got to give him time to decide what he wants it's never good to jump from one relationship to another you need a minute in between to get your head right if nothing else. Just give me some time be friends hang out a little bit enjoy one another and let things take a natural progression and wherever it goes It goes Don't Force It just let it happen

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    • 😫😩😫
      Your advice came tooooo late!
      Great advice though.

  • Okay seriously, no it's not a turn off. Not at our ages. We're not teens, and he sounds like a reasonably confident guy that's just struggling to read you a little.

    If your personality is generally serious, I'd just lay it out to him. More or less like you just did. "Look, I didn't say or do anything before because you were trying to work things out with someone else and I respected that, but now... I'm just wishing that you had sent me that text when you weren't wasted, because I don't know if you really feel that way or not, but I'm into you." That's leaving the door miles wide open for him of course, so, you know, put your own spin on it and he'll respond I'll bet.

    If you've got a funny personality... I'd just make it a challenge "Look buddy, are you going to get your ass in gear and actually ask me out here so I can actually tell you I'm into you, or do I have to just keep wondering for a while if you just think I'm 'nice'?"

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    • I loved your advice and took it, and made my own spin. Well actually I did it when I was boating with a group of friends and was a but tipsy! Haaa. He texted he could talk about it tomorrow when i was sober. Lol

      Next day about 6pm i texted him and said, “how about that liquid courage” and laughed at myself. Told him the cat was out of the bag. He however, said he liked me, but said he wasn’t in any position to date right now. Wish his actions said otherwise but that’s okay. I’m an adult and told him I respected his response. He asked if we could remain as friends in which I agreed but added that the next time we hangout there will be no kissing, petting, hugging, or friends w/ benefits type, reminded him that it wasn’t my scene. And with how our weeks went I didn’t want him to think being friends would turn into that. So that’s my update!

      Thank you for your advice! At least now I know guys are not taken back if a girl takes the wheel and let’s him know how she feels.

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What Guys Said 11

  • You should tell him. Why hold back your feelings? He might turn you down (sounds like about 1% chance of that) or he will grab you kiss you like never before. You will never know unless you tell him how you feel.

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    • I did! He responded with the 1%! Haaaaa!

      So glad I’m adult enough to laugh about it! :)

      Glad i took advice because now i do know.

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    • Exactly! Sitting and wondering was the annoying part, the not knowing. Now I do and can move on. Lol

    • Yep. One day you will meet the man for you. Might take a while. I'm ready to meet the woman for me finally. I had to get things in order first. It's been a long time since I had a girlfriend. I just have to find a sane one. hahahh

  • Definitely not a turn off. I think actual, real communication is not only a turn on, but pretty integral in having things work out.

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  • He might have been using u or he changed the way he felt about u.

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  • Nope

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    • Did you purposely not kiss him the whole night?

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    • B. T. W If you see a smiley face there its meant to be number three

    • Lol! JaegerBomer, I like you already! Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it!

  • Absolutely not. It's actually quite a thrill

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  • No, it is not.

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  • If you are both single and looking it is a plus:)!

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  • Just be honest about how you feel.

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  • omg no that would be fantastic to here

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  • No it's big turn for guys

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  • I wish girls were more forward with guys

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    • Well seeing all the response being positive I will be more forward. So thank you for your comment

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