Are we "together/exclusive"?

My ex and I have been seeing each other again. It started a few weeks ago and we've gone out 4 times total. After the 2nd time out I asked her where she saw this going and she said was interested in "us" again, but wanted to take things slow. She's asked a few times if I'm talking to anyone else and I've said no (which is true) and her response to was "I'm not talking to anyone else. I just want to go slow so that I'm sure I'm ready this time because last time I wasn't." We've had sex, but she only texts me a couple times a week. I know that sounds silly, cause obviously one carries more significance than the other, but I'm just looking for outside opinions. My friends say that that means we're "exclusive", but I guess whenever I've been exclusive with a girl she tends to blow my phone up more, so I'm unsure and feel like it's too soon to ask "what are we?" given that she said she wants to go slow.

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  • She might be easing into it hovering between friend with benefits/something else. But honestly, just be upfront with her. If you want to be exclusive then say so. It's perfectly normal to ask for a reasonable time frame for what "slow" means and to get clarity for a response ("If you're still unsure about us two weeks from now, I'm calling it.'). You can't wait on her forever, after all.

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    • I want to ask that, but I think it should be done in person not via text, and due to her work schedule she's not available this weekend. I also don't want it to come across as an ultimatum, because in my opinion that generally doesn't yield the best results-- either people feel forced and say no prematurely or say they yes because they don't want to lose an opportunity even though they aren't entirely sure it's what they want. I'm typically not one for labels, but if I'm going to treat her "exclusively" I think it's fair to ask for the same. Can two people be exclusive but still go slow? Because I do believe we need to go slow.

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    • Personally, I wouldn't go back to an ex, period. But that's me. Not you two. And I don't know if that's something that this girl would do, because I don't know this girl at all. I just hate seeing good guys get hurt. Wish you the best.

    • That's traditionally been my mindset-- an ex is an ex. But the way we parted was different, we rushed our relationship because we were both new to the area and found comfort in each other. We were moving wayyy too fast and the relationship started to prevent us from focusing on other things. If she had t apologized profusely for how it all ended, I wouldn't be considering it. But she's apologized several times and seems genuinely sorry, she just said she wants to do things right this time around, and we have to go slow to do that. I've just never gone slow before, so this is all new to me, and I think that's where my uncertainty stems from.

  • Going slow is a good thing.

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    • I agree, but can people be exclusive and still go slow? Given the details I provided, does it sound like we are exclusive?

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    • For now just make plans to hang out and may be text day everyday just a good morning and then really don't worry. If you feel something is still off then make a call whether you want to be in such a relationship. Taking things slow gives you time as well to understand what you really want.

    • Ok, I see. I don't initiate all of our conversations, but I have initiated the last couple. Should I wait for her to text me?

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