What is the something you look for the most in your S/O when dating someone?

Should they be confident, or relaxed? Or do you like a more energetic vibe, and excited?
Or do you really like a guy who cooks, and buys your favorite book? I'm curious to see what it is people look for in a relationship... I find it very important and I wanna learn from others answers... It could be deep stuff, or simple.
Updates:
Oh noooo, that's not cool... i mean, you can kinda chalk it up to anxiety in the moment, but still, a guy should handle that with more control and seriousness...

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Emotional intelligence, sense of humor and healthy sex drive.

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    • Jeuss why are all the cool and awesome girls in their 30's?

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    • I'm not saying you're old!! i'm annoyed cuz, weirdly enough, I like and am really into older girls, because they're level headed and not so anal about everything. But most of them don't believe me when I say that...

  • I need somebody who is on the same level as me. Someone who's confident, but not arrogant. Someone who has similar values, who doesn't take the dumb shit too seriously. Somebody who cares how they look without caring what others think. Somebody who can introduce me to new ideas and challenge me if I start acting a fool.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Most important is a friendly, caring, relaxed personality. Relaxed is probably the most important characteristic. Being in a relationship with someone who isn't can be really tiring.

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  • Personally I look for a few main things that have to be met that are perhaps a bit mean but very serious to me and my plans to build a stable future for my family. She can't be fat, she can't be too stupid (because this leads to pointless fights, mind games, and divorce after a few lines of feminist rhetoric), and she also cannot have ever had sex with a black person.

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    • Wow
      I get everything except the black person part... care to clarify so it doesn't seem insanely racist?

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 26

  • I look for how open he is. The more open he is about himself, his life and his feelings, the more I can get to know him on a deeper level. Feelings only develop if I know him on a deeper level.

    So the relationship won't progress between us , and trust can't be built if we aren't open with each other

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  • Enthusiasm in deep conversation whether its about personal experiences, work or a simple debate over something as minor as the Ross - Rachel - "we were on a break" thing

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    • Yeah that always drove me nuts... those scenes really just annoyed me.. cuz it seems so stupid and childish to let something so trivial get between you...

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    • I found him to have a childish moody streak, she could have done better, he didn't give her support in her career and didn't trust her around other men

    • He's kinda the perfect example of what I would NOT want my future daughter to date...

  • I like a guy who's confident but not cocky.
    I enjoy an energetic vibe.
    A guy who cooks is a plus.
    But what I look for most when dating someone is their honesty and humor.
    My fiance on our first date laid EVERYTHING on the table, told me his life from the beginning and if I was going to continue dating him, I would have to accept his baggage. I fell in love with his honesty. And plus he was hilarious, had me laughing the whole night, even during serious moments.

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  • someone with emotional connection, a guy that will love me and not treat me like a doormat, someone who is honest and open, doesn't do drugs, smart and loyal

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  • Can have a laugh with me but be serious when it really matters (i. e when I had a pregnancy scare).

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    • Whoa, who DOESN'T take that seriously? Who jokes when told that?

    • I had one with my ex and he laughed in my face.. Didn't believe me as I was on the pill and it was somehow down to me if we ended up pregnant when he didn't want a kid.. Yet convinced me to go without a condom like 95% of the time. Then when I said it was a scare, and I was okay, he said 'oh I really thought you were but I guess you just got fat'

    • I take it your update was meant to be a reply? Yeah I know, absolute dick move. At least the current guy took it better and said he wished I told him so he could help with the inevitable anxiety that came with it

  • He must just feel the same way I feel about him that's all

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    • By that logic you could date someone who hates your guts... there's gotta be more to it than that.

  • Into cartoons or confident, nice and funny but can hold a conversation. No awkwardness just fun all around good time. ALSO not easily offended please

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  • Nice caring guy who has the same kink interests that I do. Honesty, maturity, and the ability to communicate, compromise and work things out like an adult.

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  • As long as we are able to develop a deep connection emotionally and mentally all will be great. I have experienced me having a spiritual connection with a person before due to these two things being very high.

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  • ... mmm... at the moment, someone who is chill and not clingy... so we don't have to talk on the phone every day.

    grand scheme, someone who treats me right. I appreciate consideration and thoughtfulness. That includes dedication in the bedroom.

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  • I guess a connection. If we can't talk about nothing and everything for hours, and feel that 'spark' with someone then I guess it won't ever work out.

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  • Ideally he would be handsome, smart, rather serious (I don't like childish people) a bit cocky when in a mood, daring.

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  • Just be smiley. Laugh at my jokes even though hety are shit to make me feel at ease

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  • Honestly.. this would just be fulfilling a fantasy of mine.. (sorry)

    Chivalry is always something I desire in this day and age. I'm so tired of the "gender equality" bullshit in the dating scene. If I wanted to date a woman, I would-- but I DON'T. Although, I want a man who respects me, I also want him to take initiative. Nowadays, all society breeds are man-boys.
    Honestly!!! Value what I have to say, treat me like the lady I am, but please do not forget to show courtesy. I'm stable enough to know I can take care of myself without you, but prove to me that I wouldn't be wrong in handing over control to you, knowing that you can handle it.

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  • A picky girl... here's a list...

    1. Loyal and Honest
    2. Funny
    3. SMART, Life plans and ambition
    4. Someone nice, caring, kind and understanding
    5. Moderately good looking/Good body
    6. A great time, someone who is fun to be around
    7. Polite and respectful... not just to me but to everyone
    8. DEFINITELY SOMEONE TALLER THAN ME
    9. Great kisser!
    10. Someone who wants to be. And not just like that, someone who wants to be with me ENTIRELY, someone who wants me in their future and wants me to be by their side in years to come and is sure they want that.
    11. Someone who would do anything for our relationship, who wouldn't just leave me easily unless they had to. but they would do everything and anything in their will to keep me in their lives

    <3 <3 <3

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  • Kindness, understanding, open mindedness, adventures and respectful

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  • I would like a funny guy who is realistic. Knows that we aren't perfect and we're going to fuck up.

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  • The reality

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  • that he cares about me

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  • Trust trust then again more trust

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  • Someone who respects and understands me.

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  • In look for a great time with you and your heart

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  • Smells good and interested in living life

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  • Financial stability

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  • Dunno mate

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  • Just a nice person deep down

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What Guys Said 20

  • Mentally/emotionally stable, common sense, down the earth, oh yeah she is a little twisted.

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  • Each one is different
    So you should know what you want.. what thing can add value to ur existence.

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  • Honesty, a good blend of humor and seriousness (and enough wisdom to know when to use both of them) , and someone tolerant of my faults.

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  • Easygoing and good sense of humor.

    Life is shitty sometimes, we all know that. No need to act like a wet toadstool because of it.

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  • I don't know what traits I'm looking for anymore.

    I guess just someone I'm compatible with who is just as attracted to me as I am to them.

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  • Long term aspiration should be common ground between us. If for example she doesn't want kids no deal and marriage. I won't have kids out of wedlock.

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  • No? But only hot girls can get them tho lol. I’m more interested in experiencing something than dreaming about it. But aye, you do you moite

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  • Honesty. If I someone is being distrustful when you first meet. They will be later on. I’m talking from experience.

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  • Nature of caring, understanding ability and time they give to their family or friends

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  • For a straight girl I look for these things in her: Relaxed. Good looking. Fit without having to be gym fit, just about healthy and in proportion physically. Clean face, flawless teeth. Pale features, natural red or brown hair (preferably natural auburn red). Not black hair, not dark hair. Only blue or brown eyes. Grey eyes possibly. Half energetic half excited, I don't want an extreme of either. Good sized breasts (a natural Double D) or just big but again in proportion and not slouchy. I hate slouchy breasts. I wish they held themselves as they did with a sports bra on. No cellulite or sags on the butt please. I hate freckles and imperfections. Sigh. I'll never find her in reality, but I can in my dreams :)

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  • Empathy and a good sense of self esteem.

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  • Warmth and honesty

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  • Total honesty.

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    • Everyone has control over the situation. If the person really doesn't like how the other one is, then he or she can just say it's not working and then leave. If they like each other, but one has anxiety then the other one should pick up on that and try things to help the other relax. Even if it means leaving to go for a moonlight walk.

  • Virginity and loyalty

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  • Sweet, loyal and caring! Looks are important too

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  • Really big boobs and kindness to match

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  • Easy access

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  • A good sense of humor is always important!

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  • Respect

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  • chemistry

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