What lesson did you learn from being in a relationship?

I’m curious to see what most have learned!

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Most Helpful Guys

  • My girlfriend and I have been together for just over a year and she's my first anything really (except kiss). She's even my first heavy petting too, all of it, I was essentially 14 when I started dating her.

    I've learned how to fuck. You know, how to give oral, how to recieve oral, how to give an orgasm (no, she doesn't fake, I've learned how to tell), how to recieve an orgasm, etc. etc.
    I've learned what I like, what she likes. I've learned how fucking dark and dominant and forceful I really am underneath all of this "nice guy" persona. 'Cause that shit falls away once I'm in the bedroom. Just like my girl is a sweet, cute, innocent angel that you would assume is so pure and had never been with anyone... no, far from the case. So I learned not to judge a book by it's cover.
    I learned that being in a relationship? Yeah, it really is a lot of hard work, especially if you come from a family of divorce and your parents "gave up". I learned to compromise and concede like a motherfucker and find solutions that benefit both parties involved in the conflict. I learned how to trust someone. I learned how to trust myself. How to love myself and think of myself as an attractive guy (still working on that one) and actually have confidence in myself (again, stll wip). I learned not to be clingy, to give space. I learned how not to be alone after being alone for so long. How not to be rigid and live only by my rules and my desires and wants. I learned how to care for someone else, how to put their wants and desires above my own and put them and their well being first, like a man. I learned how to prepare to make my future children and start preparing to raise Luke and Leia. I learned to be a boyfriend. To be a listener and... hopefully soon... to be a fiance and husband.
    I learned how to love.
    And anyone can do it.

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    • And everyone should.

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    • ... now? Jesus, there is definitely a demonic side in me.
      Just like she's far from the sweet, cute, caring extroverted and jumpy little thing she normally is everywhere else in life.

    • You sound like you make an excellent and trustworthy leader! I truly wonder why you don't have more confidence in yourself. You truly do sound like you know what you are doing and like you are doing the best of your ability. You sound confident to me!

  • Learn to love yourself first, only then can you truly love your partner and have a stable relationship.

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    • Definitely! If we don't know how to love ourselves, what makes us think we can truly be happy and experience the best love when in a relationship?

Most Helpful Girls

  • Compassion, lots of compassion is needed.
    Boundaries, you need to keep your boundaries and stand up for yourself, you deserve respect and good treatment.

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    • Amazing, i'm so glad you posted this! Boundaries definitely make it clear on how he is to respect you. I also found that compassion helps a lot to keep a relationship going long-term. It's always worth it when you learn these type of lessons. Thanks for posting!

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    • Yea lol. We deserve good relationships now.

    • Heck ya! you can say that again! lol

  • In high school in year 11, I was in a relationship with an overweight guy that only wanted sex and I dumped him and move on. my 3 guys that I did have a relationship two them cheated on me. My 2 guy did accuse me of cheating on him with an ex. I dumped him to . my last guys was the worst one of his girl as friend gain my trust just to ruin my trust just because she liked my ex-bf that I have a relationship. he ends up cheating and I caught him and dumped. Went on facebook met guy that I liked thanks to one of my friends help me.

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    • So maybe a relationship isn't something you desire anymore?

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    • That why I only hang out with guys. Most of girl are jealous of me. Guys are more easy to get along with then girls. My current boyfriend knew that I have trust issues with some girls.

    • I guess it must be different for everyone and we all hold our own preferences. take care!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 26

  • Ah... Ya need to make compromises. When you are in a relationship, its not just about you. Its about both parties. In decision making you need to consider her too. And she has needs too. She wants attention (sometimes thats a good thing but it gets annoying when she wants too much)

    And i learnt what it feels like to get torn apart inside because your parents forced you to break her heart.

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  • I learned that people only truly care about themselves, and if I'm not benefitting them somehow, then I don't matter.

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  • Look for signs of distancing and cheating, don't fall so hard

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    • Beautiful! Do you believe there is a fine line between being reserved and having trust issues?

  • I have learned that my initial assessments formed in adolescence were inaccurate.

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    • Hopefully, that means a positive outcome for yourself? lol

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    • That was super deep!

    • Indeed. I possess superior clarity due to a sensory abnormality, but it also results in a slight deficiency in social discretion and understanding. It gave a penny and it took a penny.

  • You've to be patient, dedicated and the major skilled you've to earn is how to compromise...
    If you can have the above qualities then you've love for your partner...

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  • How to share my personal space and respect my lovers.

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  • For me? Stop going from one to another to cover the heartbreak.

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  • its a prison that i escaped from 6 years ago. happily divorced from sykotic over paranoid freak. i now pay for my fantasies.

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  • When someone likes and cheats. You break up immediately

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    • You learned not to waste your time, I can respect that!

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    • Well, I hope you made up for all that stress! Did you do a lot of fun stuff afterwards?

    • Yes!! Made a new friends fell in love with her... I broke up with my x. which made the x really mad. When I was with my new girl my x came banging at my door.. with my new girls mom saying I was having sex with her.. I almost call the cops.. and after that.. my life with my new girl was amazing we never fought we went on lots of dates there was always trust.. and life is so much better and stress free...

  • Being in a TRUE relationship is spiritual feeling
    With both positive and negative vibrations

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  • It's hard to find someone suitable for you or for me at least

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    • What would you say is your ideal partner if you could only list a top 5 of traits?

    • There's no " ideal " but what I want would be

      Compassion
      Self aware like doesn't have a fake personality
      Easy to talk to
      We have the same interests
      Nice hair

  • Don't get into a relationship

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  • Better alone that bad partnered.

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  • Never had one.

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  • Nothing..

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    • Oh!.. Are you one of those girls. Who enjoys rolling her eyes on things that men says.. 🤔

  • That it's a bad idea

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  • Just f*ck up relationship

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    • Maybe I'm overthinking your response, but do you mean, mess up a relationship on purpose? or do you mean, don't worry about if a relationship gets messed up because life moves on?

  • Never do it again

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    • LOL I currently feel that way as well.

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    • Great idea, Edgar Allan Poe! lol

    • That's the sweetest thing anyone ever called me :)

  • All girls are misleading.

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  • That after two year she looses her sexdrive

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  • people SUCK

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  • That women are bitches and nothing lasts.

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  • being cheated on is the worst pain in the world and how much i can truly hate another person

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  • I have learnt How to become a puppet.

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  • Sometimes you have to put up with shit to get frequent sex.

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  • Patience and giving values to others opinions. You should have a margin to forgive as well. Humans are complex sometimes so make expectations less ideal

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What Girls Said 11

  • I've learned that most people don't need or want a relationship, they want to be noticed. I also learned that if you happen to be a good partner, there's a good chance you'll be paired with an ingrate that takes advantage of you because most people are takers who have nothing to offer.

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  • Keep a sense of humor! Because dating men can drive you insane if you aren’t able to laugh at the absurd things they say and do.

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  • To not waste my time trying to fix a relationship that's already broken for years and can't be fixed.👍

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  • I learned that you can only try to fix it and make it

    Both people have to be willing to change to solve anything.

    At some point you have to walk away and not worry about how the other will feel.

    You've got to try and keep calm when talking things out, keep a level head as well.

    If you aren't happy and argue 98% of the time it's really not worth it.

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  • No point in being jealous or insecure - if the person wants to cheat, they will 😔

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  • To talk to people if I've got anything on my mind that's been bothering me

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  • I learnt how naive I was and that I needed to learn to stand on my own two feet and be more selective over my future partner.

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  • How to identify and get away from narcissists.

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    • Super duper important lesson! In fact, I believe you should do a MyTake on that if you feel comfortable! I've also dealt with narcissists, but mainly my mother and her boyfriend. Never in an actual past partner relationship.

    • I'll definitely do one if I have some extra time. I have more experience than one woman should have with dealing with narcissists and people with NPD.

  • To watch out for the crazy mom

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    • Have you been chased out with a broom or something? I'd love to hear a story lol

  • I learned I'm not lovable.

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    • Who told you that? Why do you choose to believe it?

    • I wouldn't be lonely if it weren't true.

    • Do you have a pet? Family? Friends? Maybe the problem is that you lack gratefulness and the appreciation for small things in life of which are the greatest gifts in life to some people. I'm lonely a lot of the time, but it doesn't mean that I'm not loved. You choose accept what you want to believe. You focus on the good or the bad today and every second. I don't mean to preach, but I just need to show you that I have faith in you. So you should learn to give yourself a little more faith too. You've got a life that you need to live and if you are doing the best and loving yourself, but thats not enough. you still have to accept and make it a goal everyday to choose that you are going to be happy no matter what does or doesn't happen. ya hear? tell yourself how beautiful you are, you are your knight in shining armor. I am my own. Find a love and appreciation for your feminine and masculine energy so you can feel both forms of self love? you feel me?

  • It is hard to love someone.

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    • Do you at least love yourself?

    • sometimes I do

    • Focus on loving yourself 99% of the time. You'll do yourself some good if you just do the best for yourself before trying to find anyone else to enter into your life.

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