What do you think about someone you met online wanting to meet you right away?

This guy I've only been talking to not even a day says he wants to meet right away. I told him i was a bit worried about that. He said the reason he wants to meet right away is because he doesn't want a guy to swoop me.
Updates:
The feeling is mutual, we both like each other. He has realized it is early with things he has been saying. he's been wanting to talk on the phone as well.
Update: he made a poem for me lol

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Most Helpful Guys

  • When I am using an online dating site, I am NOT interested in making a new pen pal. I want to meet someone who is a good candidate for dating. The only way to know the answer to that question is to meet in person. Why wait?

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    • Response to update: A guy who writes a poem for you before he has met you for the first time is probably desperate, needy, and clingy. He is building an image of you in his fantasyland and falling in love with that image instead of waiting to meet you. Be VERY careful with this guy. This is the kind of guy who will start talking about marriage on the third date.

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    • by the way those are your expectations towards women and you’ve set boundaries but some guys don’t do shit

    • @heyhey203 honestly I have been having a funny feeling about this. I like him but I don't know why I have a bad feeling. I've explained my worries to him and he said he isn't trying to be obsessive and he said he will stop the poems. he's now starting to talk about kissing on the first date. He said he will ask me and if I say yes he will if I say no he won't. He has been very accomdating. I mentioned that lets do coffee instead of dinner he was okay with it. He seems to be understanding. I mean he still has hope for us to meet sooner but still respects that we will meet on the weekend.

  • I don't see why not 😊 have lunch somewhere public and see how it goes or if you're a fidget arse like I am then maybe see if he fancies doing something interactive like a friendly game of bowling or shoot some pool for eg.

    The reason I think it's cool to meet up sooner is because if you've got a relationship purely based on type text you don't really get a feeling of how you guys really get on, maybe if you tread the waters for a longer time you may have more build up as to what it'll really be like? I dunno I just think things are more natural when you've both picked a place you're both environmentally comfy with and you can chill out and have a good time and get to know each other a little bit 😊 I hope that made sense! I've just had a lovely bottle of wine and I could perhaps have waffled on a bit 😂

    I hope it all goes well whatever you decide to do!

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Most Helpful Girls

  • No I think he wants sex and doesn't want to wait too long to get it. A guy who wants a relationship and not sex will be willing to wait for as long as it takes for you to feel comfortable in the relationship. I would not date him or be friends with him.

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  • I don't play that shit. I don't online date, but any time I have considered it, I promised I wouldn't meet before at least a week had gone by.

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    • Were going to meet next weekend so at least its been a week. He has mentioned sooner but i think a week is best.

    • I agree. Make sure someone knows where you will be and don't let him pick you up at your house. Meet him there.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 35

  • I've used online dating sites / apps before and hit it off with a few ladies I wanted to meet right away. I never pushed and was respectful about her time, asked a good day, time, and place to meet and always made it a public place. In my view this is the correct way to do it because he shouldn't be rushing you or how things unfold. The idea another guy might swoop you is ridiculous and just a line I think. For a guy to swoop in, you'd have to be a lot further down the road with that guy and probably off the dating site by that point. So the whole swoop you argument doesn't hold for me - this guy is trying to control the pace. Here's the other point and I hope you heed this; however this man is at the beginning is how he will be during the relationship. Meaning if he's pushy, and controlling the pace now, he'll be a lot worse later on and I would really think about if his behaviour is something you want from a partner.

    One if the ladies below says slow it down and I agree. The tempo needs to slow down, you need to feel comfortable with the situation, ask the relevant questions before you meet, and once all that is done you can meet up feeling more confident about the decision to meet this dude.

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  • OlderAndWiser is right. Honestly why text when you can meet in person in public? When I was on Tinder (for dating, not for hooking up) I would ask to meet up within two days. It's so easy to tell if people are worth pursuing compared to via text. Stick to public places like a coffee shop or a beer garden. He can't hurt you if there are dozens of people around, and you'll know if he is good.

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  • Internet dating can be such a huge waste of time.. I've spent weeks talking to girls, only to find out they are not who they say they are when you finally meet them!
    I know for myself, I now want to meet someone sooner than later, in a public place, because people on the net only show their best side / hide things.
    But 30s mentality is different than 20s as well.

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  • It sounds find to me, I'd be pleased she seemed excited and eager. This probably is different for men and women. I have no fear that she could be unstable and a threat to my health. Women should be more careful with strange men on the internet.

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  • Well isn't the whole point to meet someone?

    I see what you mean that it's kinda soon, maybe you don't know enough about him. So maybe after a few more days. However I think it's better to meet sooner than later.

    I see where the guy is coming from. I think what he meant to say was you might get bored of him and move on to the next guy.

    Cause with online dating girls have virtually unlimited options.

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  • I honestly would meet fairly quickly but I understand that it looks weird so I wouldn't usually suggest that.

    My reason for wanting to meet is so I know, I hate having small talk just to find that there's no spark. And the ones that I have felt that spark with are the ones that are the worst with messages. As soon as we've met I know whether there's potential or not.

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  • I can't blame him. The internet is full of time wasters that just want to chit chat and really have no intention on ever meeting.

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  • There's no issue meeting early. The guy is eager for sure but you can't really know his true intentions until you meet.
    Just meet somewhere very public. If he doesn't want to meet somewhere public that's a huge red flag.

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  • Hmm I think you should be careful... it could be fine though. Meet in a public place and see what you think. If you think they might be dodgy ask them to leave first and then make sure someone you know can meet you

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  • Do what you feel comfortable with. A guy who likes you will understand. Just dont be a snail and take a year to talk on the phone. That will kill the feelings.

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  • I don't think it's bad. That stupid rule of now meeting was since the phone was out.. earlier it was all personal interactions and that's what made the relationship better..

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  • Definitely best to meet sooner than later. It helps avoid scams and keeps you from wasting time. I'd prefer to meet in a day or two. More than 2 weeks without our first date and I'm done.

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  • Yeah if there normal they are wanting to get the ball rolling life's short but meet in very public place

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  • Depends entirely on the context. If it's "Let's get a coffee at the Starbucks in the mall." It's not so bad.

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  • He specifically sounds a bit controlling but being forward is normal for men. We're not afraid of getting hurt when we meet.

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  • Don't block him, but tell him you want more time for that. It's just not enough. He can be desperate. It depends on you if you want to give him that opportunity or not.

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  • As someone who's been on both sides, I now regret ever saying almost within a day or two "hey let's meet". I blame I was young and unaware I had anxiety.

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  • If you want to have sex with a stranger go ahead and meet him. Otherwise block him.

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  • Be safe, if you're too anxious to meet 1 on 1 go with a couple of friends. You dont know who out there wants to sell your kidney on the black market.

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  • Talking on the phone is a good start meeting right away can be dangerous you don't know him that well and if your not comfortable then don't do it

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  • Face time him and do not go alone until you get to know him better. Also there is a slight chance he wants to smash only. Take it slow.

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  • You should only meet someone when you're comfortable and he should accept that. If he doesn't, that's a red flag.

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    • The feeling is mutual of both liking each other. He realizes it might be too early with what he's been tellig me

    • Just so long as he respects your feelings, that's good 👍

  • im not sure if its ok there but it varies countries to country... situations are difrent here and there

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  • After a day the feeling is mutual?
    On this episode of to catch a predator

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  • Happened to me. If your guts tell you it's going to be good then trust them.

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  • not sure if desparate or just not the "online" kind of person.

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  • Poor guy

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  • It's okk they should meet to know each other well

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  • Serial killer.

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  • It could be your dad pranking you. Yes, it is.

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What Girls Said 19

  • i actually met my husband online. it wasn’t a dating site, just a game chat but we ended up exchanging emails and wrote back and forth for weeks before i called him. after a year of talking we finally met in person. it probably would have been sooner if i hadn’t been so young. i was only 17 when we started talking but still, it was weeks of talking and getting to know each other.
    if it’s seriously been one day, this guys only in it for a hookup, plain and simple.

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  • Okay so first of all SLOW DOWNNNN

    he's moving too fast, I would be cautious.

    Two: its been less than a day & he wants to meet you already? Get to know each other before making that plan. Feel him out. You have to be very careful with that

    Three: if it gets to that point, public place only! Don't meet him anywhere else. Make sure someone knows your whereabouts

    Moving too fast is a huge red flag for me, but just be careful whatever you decide to do.

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  • Just be honest to him about it, I see nothing wrong with him wanting to meet up because though you get along texting in person can be different, just be honest with him.

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  • I would be a little scary but i would certainly consider meeting him at least after a week but to a public place where there are lots of people untill when am confident enough meeting him some place else

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  • I'd feel flattered, but it would also be a red flag. Read up on "love bombing" and see if it seems familiar.
    If it doesn't - enjoy! But always be careful!

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  • Just make sure he knows there will be no sex the first couple of visits. That'll usually show things down

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  • Well he can still prevent that by constantly texting.

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  • I think they shouldn’t be that desperate and give it time. As well as you giving it time in order to see that persons true color and find out their intentions. Hope this helped 😊

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  • Wait longer and maybe talk on the phone or FaceTime first. It’s dangerous to jump into something with a stranger so quickly. Get to know him better.

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  • That he only want a girlfriend but he doesn't want real love

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  • I would want to wait a little bit longer until I got to know them better

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  • Yeah, DOD---GGGGYY. Stay away.

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  • I'd be weirded out and block him immediately.

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  • Thats how I met my man. . i think its cool

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  • I think he is trying to rush things in a flash

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  • I’m smart. *blocked*

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  • Don’t trust him

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  • It's going to have to be a no right away

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  • Surely he can give it 3-5 days. Just do what you’re comfortable with.

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