Why after 8 months does being cheated on still hurt?

Anonymous
I was cheated on by my ex boyfriend, who I dated for 1.5 years. He messed with my head so much, and I realize he was very emotionally and mentally abusive at times. He cheated on me. I tried to forgive him. I couldn’t, and he left me in the coldest way. He would try and message me from time to time. However, I have tried to move on. I have been in a very healthy and loving relationship for the past few months now. I am with someone who is everything I’ve ever dreamed of, and makes me never want to go back to my ex.

However, sometimes i find myself thinking about how I was cheated on. I think about the day I found out, and how I wish I had left sooner once things started to not feel right. The pain doesn’t hurt as much as when I first found out. But, it has been 8 months. I wish I could just care less about what happened! Maybe because a part of me blames myself, and wishes it didn’t end that way?
Why after 8 months does being cheated on still hurt?
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