My boyfriend is Confusing Me?

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now, and things are going really well! We were friends for over 3 years before things became official so we're close. However, I guess I'm getting mixed feelings about this one particular topic.
He constantly talks about how he wants to "put a ring on my finger" and marry me. Which is good, I see that in our future too. However, I've kind of felt out his thoughts by saying, "Well not for a few more years, right?" like joking and kind of seeing what he thinks. All he really says is, "Psh" or "It may be sooner than you think." Sometimes he'll say that, or when I recently mentioned how quick wedding dresses can go out of style during one of our conversations, he was really vague with what he said.
I'm just confused about what he's thinking. He's a guy so I know getting married isn't his top priority, we're working towards other steps in our relationship right now. I just feel like I'm getting mixed signals from him since he's talking about "putting a ring on my finger" almost daily, but then it seems like he doesn't want to get married for a few more years. It's just kind of confusing and in that fairytale girl dream it makes me excited, so I don't really want to be excited for something that might not happen at all or won't happen for a few years.
For our 1 yr, he got me a promise ring and the day before we were joking about him proposing again and he said, "maybe it'll be tomorrow." But then he just really makes it seem like we won't get married for a few more years, and like I said I'm confused.
What do you guys think? Should I talk to him, would this confuse you too, or am I making too big a deal about the entire situation?
(Also, please don't chastise me for my willingness to get married in such a "short amount of time". Everyone has different relationships and timelines. Thanks.)


Most Helpful Guy

  • i think as of right now, you should focus on your current relationship with him. build a better connection.

    but if you can’t take your mind off of it, then talk to him about it. tell him that it seems very vague and reason with him.

    • Right, and that's what I want to do, but he keeps bringing it up so it's on my mind a lot. He's just saying different things every time and it's confusing me haha

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    • glad i helped. best wishes to your relationship :)

    • Thank you, I appreciate your time and help!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like you want marriage. After a year, it’s not unusual to at least be thinking about the future of the relationship. He definitely seems to be sending some mixed signals. Maybe he is gauging your reaction with his comments. Maybe he’s scared to move forward. Who knows? When he talks about marriage, don’t test him with questions. Let him know you like the idea of that. Be open about your feelings without being pushy. Maybe it will give him the confidence to finally ask you.

    • True, you're right. Whenever we bring it up I just kind of like to joke around about it to gauge his thoughts, but that's really not the best way to go. I just spoke to him about it and told him I'm upset he says these things and asked, "Because it's far away and you want it sooner?" Just made me feel like that crazy girlfriend who is super demanding and I don't want to be like that. He just said it's far away, so why does he keep talking about it? he said it was just daydreaming for the future, but why do that when it's apparently so far away?

    • It sounds like he got your hopes up with the marriage talk but isn’t ready yet. That’s really not fair to you. Assure him you’re not crazy or demanding but maybe he could save the marriage talk for when he’s closer to actually following through. It’s not wrong to want a consistent message to base your expectations on.

    • Right, and he knows that I don't like to get my hopes up. I'm trying to talk to him about it and now he's like, "I'm talking about it because I feel like we will get married soon." but then he backtracks so I feel like he's just saying it now to make me feel better.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I say to my girlfriend a lot that I would marry her. But then i start to think more about whats all involved. I still have to finish college, find a steady job, search for a reliable house or apartment, have money for the wedding. My girlfriend has all these dreams for her perfect wedding and I know at my current state i can't afford to have the wedding and life she dreams of at the moment. That's me though. You should talk to your boyfriend and clear up the confusion. Hope this helped!

    • It did; what you said is very sweet! I wish he would just say that, he's said before that we'll know when we're ready and that will be the time we start talking about it, so it's just really confusing obviously when he's saying he wants to marry me, but then saying not for years to come.

  • it's a head game.
    if speaking of it after less than a year, there's something wrong. suspect you're being strung along.
    dump this joker and move along.

    • we've been together for more than a year, I'm not sure if that's what you meant!

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    • Oh I'm sorry for the confusion, he's really only started talking about it the past few months which is after our one year. I'm really sorry for the confusion! But you're right, he brings it up but then once I say something that indicates I wouldn't mind it being soon, he pulls back.

    • apology truly not necessary. you really HAVE answered your own question, tho.

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