Why do guys on tinder get angry and upset when I refuse to give them my phone number?

Isn't that what the messaging feature is for? I don't get why guys take it so personally that I don't want to take things to the next level so quickly.


Most Helpful Guy

  • That sounds a lot like the guys who'd get mad at girls for the same thing at a bar. It's because of a lot of things:
    1. You're the 100th girl they've been rejected by in less than 48 hours
    2. They really really want you to like them
    3. You don't, because of any number of valid reasons
    4. They're immature

    Stare really hard at #4

    • Don't they ever stop to think that girls can't give out their number to everybody who asks?

    • Of we do. I can't speak for all guys, obviously, but I was always after a relationship... except a few times, when I was in the Corps :p My point was that my intentions were really pretty pure - it kind of stings when a gal won't even trust you enough not to give you her number. Rewind: This was pre-internet - it's not like I could find her with just that #

      It made me realize that to a woman ANY guy could be the guy that stalks or rapes or kills her. I was offended at first, but it made sense to me and so I stopped getting angry and gave my number instead. I made a habit of putting my favorite cafe on the paper... And then I would tell them to meet me for a meal in a brightly lit, public space XD

      It worked. It got laughs and gratitude and I got a ton of repeat business that way... ah, the good old days :)

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What Guys Said 5

  • In my experience Tinder is a pretty toxic place a lot of the times. A lot of guys are only on there to hookup not to talk too much, so as you might expect they may not take too kindly to being rejected as there are plenty of other women they can bother 😛

    • Why would they need someone's number if all they want to do is hook up? Isn't that what the messaging feature is for?

    • The messaging feature is pretty flawed on Tinder. Although I have never had someone ask me for my phone number a majority of the time I have added them on Snapchat as it is much easier to use whilst still providing anonymity. The fact that Tinder doesn't have read notifications is extremely weird to me so most guys probably just don't want to deal with it.

  • Because most of them want to screw ASAP and aren't willing to wait.

    • Why do they need someone's phone number if they just want to fuck? Why not use the messaging feature?

    • Having your phone number gives them a feeling of power over you.

    • That's pretty stupid because why would you want someone's number if you don't plan on speaking to them afterwards? What "control" do they have over me when I can just block them at any time?

  • Well tinder is basically a hook up app pretending to be a dating app

    • I'd say it's the other way around. Many guys think it's a hook up app and find themselves disappointed when they discover that most girls are looking to date. Tinder is marketed as a dating app.

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    • Well it’s reliable then most places

    • Let's assume you are right. Why would they need someone's phone number if all they want to do is fuck? Isn't that what the messaging feature is for? Doesn't make sense.

  • Because it's rejection straight & simple.

    • Not really. I tell them that I'd like to keep communicating, but that it's too soon to give out my number.

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    • So giving someone your number, is deemed to you as the next level? I guess that makes sense & your experiences warrant it, but it's natural to be frustrated when you get rejected, surely you understand that.

    • I don't see it as a rejection if you are still interested in keeping the communication going and yes, giving out any personal info about yourself is taking things to the next level. Especially if it's a complete stranger.

  • I hate tinder and texting because I have trouble getting to know someone that way. I rather talk on the phone, for me I wouldn't get angry though I would just stop talking to them.


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