Do you ever wonder if you'll ever find someone to call your own?

It's something I think about sometime, when I'm not thinking about all the other 900 things that go through my head each day. I've always wanted to get married and be a mom, that's one of the only things I've known I really wanted out of life. However, given my age and life circumstances. Also given the fact that I'm weird lol and I don't connect easily to people, I sometimes think that maybe just because I want it so badly doesn't mean it's what I'm meant to have.

I know most people actively try to find people through dating sites or going to places where singles hang out but this is one of the ways I'm weird, I don't want to do that especially because I don't connect to people easily and I don't want to force it to happen. I just want it to happen because it's suppose to.

I know this may seem like a depressing question and I don't mean for it to be, I just wonder if anybody else ponders these things?

1|0
1243

Most Helpful Guys

  • Ugh. I know what you mean... especially cuz I have to put an insane amount of effort into simply talking to someone, communicating online is an enormous chore, and sometimes- no, A LOT OF TIMES I hate doing it. But I do it anyway, cuz I know there is that one person out there...
    In truth, i don't care who it is. Like, I'm going to appreciate every last part of them anyway, I don't care what bad parts she will have, or what insecurities she has... i know I could be with anyone and find strength in them, as they would with me. Cuz at the end of the day, if you come home and see me, smile, give me a simple hug and say "hello", that's enough for me, and all I want. And will give my life to protect that.

    But so many people are butthurt, anal, or specific and picky, that it just drives me mad... then they complain about how "i can't find anyone! No one likes me!"... i really would be friends with everyone here, if they would be open to meeting and talking in person... just to see my effort acknowledged is enough.
    But, alas, people will be people. Just gotta wait for that one.

    PS, I'm not desperate. Just annoyed that people are selfish and unacknowledging of the lengths some others go through to find what matters most.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I feel the same way at times, like if I happen to let my thoughts get the better of me. This thinking has led me to continue on this emotional affair I’ve got. This is nuts.

    • Of course... i'm probably gonna get to sleep tonight, and wake up in the morning and forget I felt this way at all..😂 but then, give it another couple months, and I'll feel the same way again...

      Oh great brilliant human mind, the biggest sadist of us all...

  • I was in that situation but the sad reality especially for dating and relationships is if you cannot take the time to put yourself out there, your chances of finding someone are very very slim. Like my girlfriend atm who is my love of my life happened because of a very slim chance succeeding for me. She ended up being in the same school as me, in the same degree with the same class and so happened to talk to her for one unusual situation. If that did not happen, I am fairly confident I wouldn't be here with anyone. So either you put at least something out there or you roll the dice with a very slim possibility.

    1|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girls

  • I’m a hopeless romantic. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t fantasize about finding that one, special love and getting married. I’m very cynical and a bit odd, so I try not to set myself up for heartbreak. But I also know that I’m still young and have plenty of time and opportunities to find the romance I’ve always wanted.

    4|3
    0|0
  • when i was younger i thought for sure i was going to die alone. i never dated in high school, never clubbed or anything like that. had no idea if or how i’d ever meet someone. surprisingly i ended up chatting with this guy on a computer game and we really hit it off. exchanged emails and whatnot. fast forward, we’ve been married 10 years and i got to be the mom i always wanted to be. i feel like if we had met in person and not the way we did, it probably wouldn’t have gone anywhere since we didn’t have much in common but we got to know each other on a deeper, more personal level quicker.
    you never know when you’re going to find someone and i think it often comes when you’re not seeking it out and that ‘made for each other’ relationship we’ve been told is out there is really just bullshit. you have to decide what qualities are the most important and what things you can live without.
    i hope you find what you’re looking for and get to be the wife and mom you’ve always wanted.

    4|1
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 41

  • Constantly. I have a weird fantasy about it. I travel to the east coast and just sit there, waiting. Then, one night, I see a girl sitting, just like me. I go over to her, sit beside her, and we both listen to the sound of the waves, saying nothing. I know I've found her. Then the cops show up and tell us we can't be on the beach after 10.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I used to have someone like that. It was... wonderful.

    But I took things for granted, fell into a bad video game addiction, put on a ton of weight, and destroyed my marriage. That will be my biggest regret until the day I die.

    I used to wonder if I'd ever find anyone again. But I've been so overburdened with guilt and grief, that I honestly believe I don't deserve love again.

    0|0
    0|0
  • The title sounds very possessive. Not interested in that. I would prefer someone who likes me enough to be a part of my life for the long run. The ability to be free and independent, but chooses to spend that time with me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm only 25 and I always had these thoughts. I've only been in one relationship so I thought I was going to marry her. And now that she broke up with me well over a year ago and I've been single since, I constantly worry that I'm destined to die alone.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Ya everyday! Im pretty much the same. I remember as far back as 3 year old telling my mom i was wanting to get married and have 2 kids by the time i was 25. Im now 27 and never really dated anyone in my life and i feel times running out. I figure ill give myself 8 more years and then just except ill be alone forever lol

    0|0
    0|0
  • I always pondered if I'd find someone and right now I think I may have. Just have to not scare her off with my weirdness.

    Unfortunately though if you don't go out or use dating sites you're never going to find it. The love of our lives don't come knocking on our door.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You're weird? Everyone's weird! You just haven't found the weird person that matches your weird yet. But i will say this you can't meet anyone if you don't make yourself available. I found that out the hard way.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I feel like I’m too young to be worried about that. I also feel that u need to establish myself more before I start worrying about a partner. I have to make sure that I’m able to help and provide for them and a family if need be so I’m chilling right now.

    0|0
    0|0
  • All the time! I hate that it is not an exact science and it is unpredictable and not even stable when it does happen but you have to play the game until you find the winning person

    0|0
    0|0
  • I did and eventually found someone who then turned out to be a total liar who left my life in ruins
    I still miss having someone to share life with but I no longer wonder about finding someone I don't think I have it in me to try again

    0|0
    0|0
  • I beleive that in a moment when you stop thinking about it it will happen. by the way i think there is someone for everyone but your either overly choosey, very indecisive or just not looking st a good place.

    0|0
    0|0
  • For me, all the time. I know it's something most people think and yet most people end up with somebody so I think it's natural to get anxious but it'll happen when it's meant to.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I did but not anymore. I no longer care. I am still looking but it is a case of if it happens, it happens. Life is too short to worry about that stuff.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Do i wonder... Sure, since the few i had interest were either married or moving away. I've come to the conclusion that the type of people im intersted in dont really exist where i live.

    0|0
    0|0
  • can you ever call a bird outside your own? and if you do catch it and keep it in a cage would that be fair?

    0|0
    0|0
    • I'm confused, what does that have to do with my question? If this is because I said "someone to call your own"? I didn't mean it in what ever horrible possessive way it's being seen as. When I say that I don't mean someone who you own and is your property to with what ever you please. I meant someone that is meant for you, the one person you were destined to be with.

    • that's what i mean but i wanted to give you an analogy. i dont believe there is a single person you were destined to be with because that would mean they will be with you forever and they are perfect in every way and will never betray you or make any kind of mistake which is impossible to find. people change and make mistakes and change their mind down the road. you will be hurting yourself with those kind of expectations. Like wild free birds you may entice or lure them to you hand with food before they fly away but it would be wrong to try to keep them. the only thing you can do is appreciate the time you have with them before they go.

  • I thought this until I found my fiance 4 years ago I was on dating website then gave up then sudden I you d the 1

    0|0
    0|0
  • Honestly I've always known I'd be single most my life so I dedicated myself to my career which sucks but hey ugly people get no breaks

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah, it's good to be honest with yourself, don't settle for something fake, I recommend travel, being on the road is romantic.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes and that would be my future son
    #KidsBeforeHoes

    1|0
    0|0
  • i'll tell you something,
    actively looking does not mean that it'll work.
    i've done that nope didn't work for me.
    but recently at work this cashier girl keeps being awkward around me for no apparent reason for example: she'll get tomato red and smile awkwardly when we make eye contact, shit like that.
    my conclusion there being yeah she likes me and i'm going to ask her out but anyways.
    i wanted to use this as an example that actively looking does not always work out.
    anyways you will find someone.

    0|0
    0|0
  • All the time matter of a fact ill probably never fall in love I'm like a lion and this king of the jungle won't ever find his queen.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Im kind of the same. I just dont connect with girls so easily when I like them. Im really un experienced. But im only 17 lol

    0|0
    0|0
  • Always... I ponder some the same things but myself I just do me... If it happens it happens if not well shit happens n it wasn't meant to be

    0|0
    0|0
  • I always wondered but I dont believe it will ever happen. None of my relationships work out, i get cheated on, or she turns out to not be the person that i knew before.

    I stopped dating after my last ex because I'm tired of putting shit in for people and they won't do the same, and expect me to be superman and be the relationship carrier. That's not what I'm about. All I ever asked for was that they please show some initiative and the same respect that I gave to them. Some things that a lot of people dont know how to do nowadays.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You gotta take it easy on yourself worst damage you can do to your ego is assuming nothing can be Dangerous.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes. "Been searching for a heart of gold... And I'm getting old."

    0|0
    0|0
  • I feel the same way you do. So you're not alone in feeling that way.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Im a rare breed. Most people consider me strange, so Im not optimistic.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I wonder that every night I'm awake past 1:00am.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I do. And it seems she will never exist

    0|0
    0|0
  • Show more from Guys
    11

What Girls Said 10

  • I did, and yes wait and be extremely patient, he will appear before you know it! Trust me on this bc i used to think itll never happen, and i didn't had to force or do anything. So be yourself and dont rush, thats the worst you can do be with a stupid man who doesn't treat you good and then be on your own with kids. Itll happen. Plus you're very young still. So take it easy, and do what you need to do in life for now. Take care, good luck.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Yes. I've been in love so many times with guys I've never met or guys I've only talked to online.
    I often feel like I'm never going to meet a man to love me like I love him, but I know I will. I just have to have patience as I wait and prepare myself for that love 💕

    0|1
    0|0
  • I think I’ve found him. I’ve never thought I would because I’m a weirdo and definitely have never wanted kids but I can actually see us having kids. His older sister has a son that looks just like him!

    0|0
    0|0
    • His older sister has a son that looks like him? I hope she is not his step sister.

  • I'm in the same boat as you. Guys just can't commit. And then when I see them commit I wonder what the other women do that I'm not doing. Or maybe it isn't just me. I don't know. I wish someone would love me as much as I love them. Keep your head up girl. Try to enjoy life as much as possible. That's all we can do for now.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You need to let go of the urge to find someome, be happy and content with yourself - the moment you fully let go, something magical will happen and you’ll find someone - trust the process.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think the same way and I am just like you I don’t go where single people hung out or try anything. I am just like if it meant to happen it will happen.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I believe so ☺️

    0|0
    0|0
    • Also just because you feel your “weird”, doesn’t mean or make it something your not “meant” to have. I’m weird and I’m happy about it. My guy loves me for being myself and loves my company as well. He never feels I’m a bother. You too, would likely have the chance in meeting someone just as well happy with how you are and can be. Certain aspects will stand out to him that may have not stood out to you.

    • Show All
    • In order to find a connection with someone though, you have to kind of put yourself in certain careful environments that you could talk with others and have them get to know about you too. I don’t advise dating sites or clubbing or bars as i am not into that myself. Going to simple book stores, museums with maybe a friend or family, the movies, the park, beach, and even other certain places, you never know who you’ll bump into 🙂

    • I am shy and weird but took the time to put myself out there a bit every now and again and wanted to be approachable for some. Eventually I’ve found certain people that actually liked my personality. Those thoughts are sometimes mine too that your feeling, but at the same time, by most, I’m happy i found myself and accepted me for me, and there’s certain people who’ve accepted me as well. I hope you’ll find that too. ☺️

  • All the time 🙃

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think this all the time. My friends say to stop looking for it and waiting and it’ll happen. It’s what I want as well, getting married and having a child. But I’ve had no luck in relationships. I don’t think I am weird, lol, just keep falling for the wrong guys but I know how you feel.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I used to, when I didn’t have a boyfriend for years since high school. I was honestly desperate to have a man but one moment I was just like screw it I’m going to have fun and not even think about relationships. But I did go on those dating apps except it was also to chat with new friends. One day this guy messages me i decide to just hangout with him do fun things that I don’t usually do. I’m not kidding when I say we clicked on the first day it was crazy and now we been in relationship for almost 3 years. I went on those site because I had no social life outside. But it can happen anytime for you just don’t think about it everyone finds love diff times.

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...