Feeling insecure whenever my girlfriend goes out. How do I deal with it?

I've always considered myself a confident guy. I've never struggled to attract women and never really felt jealous before. However, now i met a woman whom i want more than just some fun with, and made her my girlfriend. Everything is great for the most part, however I've discovered something about myself that I fear could become an issue. Whenever she goes out with her friends (not very often) i start feeling very insecure. I don't consciously doubt her loyalty. But i can't help feeling a bit anxious when she's out. Anxious that she'll get into trouble, into the wrong car, mixing with unsavoury people, just generally putting herself at risk.
I think these fears may stem from a previous relationship, where my ex would often end up getting stoned with some random guys she'd never met before kilometers out of town. Which eventually led to her being tricked into taking something a bit more serious, and eventually cheating on me.
I don't think such irrational anxieties are good for our relationship, so my question is, how do i deal with these emotions?


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What Girls Said 1

  • I had an ex like you (not an ex for that reason just fyi) and I think you're feeling that way for a few reasons. Such as you really liking this girl and it scares you to lose her, that you've had negative past experiences or that you like to be in control and your feelings for this girl are messing with that control.

    The best way to deal with these emotions is to confront as per why you're having them in the first place. Then I'd suggest trying to have a positive opinion when she goes out. If you continuously have such negative thoughts every time she goes out. Then it'll become an undesired habit and you'll continue to have them until you drive her away. Which leads you to really only one of two answers. One, figure out and get rid of these feelings or two, keep having them and lose her. It sucks but those are most likely the only two possible outcomes.


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