I sounded too desperate to the boy I like and turned him off. How can I redeem myself so he doesn't look at me that way again?

I had been talking to this guy I like for couple week through text and he would talk too. We would both have good conversations and laugh together and all that. I really felt that he started to like me too cuz he would show little signs here and there that showed he was interested in me. We went out one day and after that when I went home and continued our convo in text he was being blunt. When I told him why he was acting like that all of a sudden, he said because I sound really down for a relationship and he isn't in the right place for one. So I think either he suddenly changed his mind in beginning a relationship OR I was kinda rushing things and getting too clingy. I think it's because of me being clingy. So I told him I understand and if we were cool as just friends and he agreed. We stopped our conversation but we still have each other on social media. We used to snap each other a lot and now we don't. Is there a way I can REDEEM myself from looking desperate to him? Will he always see me as the clingy girl that once always used to talk to him? Do you think he could come back one day and talk again or is this it?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Leave him be... and give him space. Women think the way to get a man or whatever is to crowd him and spend as much time as possible. MEN ARE DIFFERENT!!! I think I can speak for some men when I say one of the biggest things a man loves is when a woman knows what she wants, and being honest, and one of the biggest things we hate is playing games. So you should tell him how you really feel. Not through text. Meet up, look him eye to eye, tell him how you really feel. Tell him this the last you will say it until he is ready and then simply give him space. Walk away, don’t text him, for a while, don’t try to snap him. Just leave him be... either he will think about it and come back, or he will move on... but that would be the redeeming trait for me

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    • omg thanks so much for your reply! oh Yes I did like drop hints that I like him and he knew himself too I made it obvious, but I think it was just cuz he's been out of a 3 year relationship and I think he's scared to get in one again. However I could feel that he was interested in me too like he dropped hints here and there. So do you think I should've said that I love him? I guess it's too late now :( And we also stopped snapping each other cuz I snapped him a few times and he didn't snap back so I left it. Now he just views my stories and posts on instagram. What do you think I should do? Just leave it be?

    • So, I don’t know what’s is with our generation and “dropping hints.” I’m a business man.. I don’t want hints. I want you to look me square in the eyes and tell me how you really feel. Lay it on the table, like adults. What would turn me on to you, would be you being direct, and know exactly what you want. But you have to say it. If he is older than you and mature, he will want that too. No playing games. No beating around the bush. After you do that, then let him know, I am going to leave it be. This is the last you will hear from me until you decide what you want.

      If he is a man about it, he will reciprocate what he feels, and let you know where he is, and you can move forward together. If he is immature, he will not say a word and run in the corner and hide. Either way, you will know what type of man he is once you open up like that.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well if he is like me, no matter what you do the fact that you clinged to him at some point will forever be a turn off.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Give him some space, and spend more time hanging out with other people. If he just got out of a long relationship he needs some time being single. If it's meant to be he'll reach out to you eventually, and when he does play it cool and think of him as a friend first. You're attractive and have plenty of other options if he's just not ready.

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    • hey thank you for your reply!! Yeh you are so right. But im just worried that he'll always think of me as that "desperate clingy girl" that'd always talk to him. I look back at our convos sometimes and im always kicking myself cuz I wish I had taken it slow and didn't look so clingy and desperate :( Do you think he'll ever forget about that as time passes or always think low of me now? Is there anyway I could like kinda redeem myself so he doesn't remember me being clingy?

    • His impression of you isn't set in stone. Yes, you maybe said and did some things that made you sound needy and desperate. But in all likelihood the reason he stopped communicating with you has more to do with him and his 3 year relationship, than it has to do with you or how you acted.

      The best thing you can do right now is to develop your social circle of friends and acquaintences. You want to be seen as an outgoing and social woman who has her own friends and connections, and an active social life.
      "A fun and outgoing girl who loves fashion and makeup," as your GAG profile says. :)

      Seriously, be that, and hang out with fashion model hotties while you're at it. Once you resonate an impression of yourself as an outgoing, socially competant, and well-connected woman, NO ONE will think you needy, clingy, or desperate.

      You need to give him a lot of space for weeks, perhaps months. In the meantime, you should develop a friendship with a goodlooking guy who's willing to accompany you

  • I don't think it has anything to do with you being clingy.

    I think he just knows he doesn't want a relationship. If he starts asking you for nudes then you know what he's really after.

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    • reallyyy? omg I hope so. But you know like we would always snap each other and even on instagram he would usually reply to my stories. Now he doesn't. He had said we could still be friends but he isn't talking to me at all now. Why do you think? Do you think this is so me/him doesn't get feelings for each other again or because he is suddenly turned off by me?

    • If he doesn't want a relationship you shouldn't force it.

      Who knows he might have someone else in mind.

  • Just give it some time and don't be clingy again. Wait it out for a few months..

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  • Close your legs until the draft and mist go away lol

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  • yeah you might of came off too strong for him. easy just be normal dont really push it

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  • Seems like a deep hole. I'm stumped too.

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