Please tell me why I feel this way?

My boy best friend confessed his feelings to me, but I kindly rejected him because I don't feel the same way. A few days later, he suddenly tells me he has someone else now and he's happy, well I am sincerely happy for him too, but somehow a (very small) part of me feels sad and guilty. So, is it perfectly normal to feel this way as his one and only girl best friend? Or do you think I somehow like him too but I actually do not know I already do?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's because you're a girl XD. You weren't interested in him when he liked you cause you could have him but now that you can't have him anymore you want him. It's more of a challenge and more exciting.

    Honestly female sexuality is probably the weirdest shit ever and women don't even realise what's happening most of the time. Or they just lie and make excuses to themselves. Women always talk about spark or chemistry or feelings etc. But that's all just misleading language for one thing: Did he turn me on or not? It's just sexual instincts that are controlling women completely but they try to pass it off as romance or whatever.

    Before he was boring because it was too easy because he liked you but now he's moved on and your sexuality/ego doesn't like it. Women want a guy to pay 100% attention to them it makes them feel desired and powerful but when it does happen they get bored and think the man is a loser.

    That's why the guys who don't give a fuck about women and are not around much, do better with women cause women are always chasing trying to be the most important thing in his life, even though, if they actually achieved that, they would lose interest. It's a weird world we live in for sure.

    Of course men can be like that too, it's sort of a human thing that we value things more that seem rare. But usually men are less retarded in this specific way than women.
    This is also why many women say they want a guy who's there for them who listens to them, who treats them well etc. But If they find that guy they'll treat him like shit. Women might have a rational mind but between the rational mind and the sexual instincts the instincts win everytime. That's why taking dating advice from women is a terrible idea 99% of the time, because they say one thing but act totally differently.

    You can't really do much about it but I'd try and be conscious of this and not always follow your "feelings" blindly. It can lead you to do shitty things to other people and also fuck up your own life. Cause your biology just wants the sperm of the most "high value guy" that it can find, it doesn't care about the consequences for your life.
    That's why there's tons of women who are into criminals, thugs, even serial killers. It doesn't make much sense to be turned on by a guy who killed women, but women find him a lot more exciting than some nice guy.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No its normal. Usually people don't admit it. But everyone has an ego small or large, everyone likes being liked. And when you are no longer liked it kinda hurts. Even if your brain says it makes no sense to be.. It kinda hurts the ego part of you. Totally normal. You didn't have feelings for him

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What Guys Said 3

  • To be honest, it's probably the whole "he's more attractive when he's taken". Like, you did reject him so I don't think you can come back from that especially since he is happily taken. So at this point you have to accept it either way.

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    • Oh no no, I don't want to be that girl who comes running back and suddenly likes the guy she rejected when he's with someone else already haha. I try to think within myself if I suddenly find him attractive now, but I still realized that I don't. But there's that weird feeling of sadness, so I guess it does have something to do with ego and all that like what one of the answers have said. But thank youuu!! :)

    • Oh yeah, I don't think you have a massive ego to the point of other people considering that you're very polite to criticism. But it could be like one of those responses from below where one guy was like its something you cannot have now so you want it, kind of thing. I do have moments like that and you're welcome. x3

  • this is a big maybe but could it be that he is fishing for attention? don't get me wrong but suddenly having a girlfriend out of no where after only a couple of days as soon as he gets rejected seems fishy to me...

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    • That's also what I thought. This is all fishy to me

    • Ohhh my friends have told me that too because it's all too sudden. I've also thought about it that way as well when he first told me, but I didn't want to be the assuming type. Welp, we'll found out about the truth about that anyways in the future haha. Thank youuu :)

  • Yeah its perfectly normal to feel that way; a little bit of the "you want what you can't have" feeling, nothing to worry about - also maybe a part of you feels like your rejection drove him to another woman?

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