How can I tell if this guy is a “player”? If he is, how do I take steps to not be played?

What is the best way for a man to receive the message of “I’m not ready to have a physical relationship with you. Can we take this slowly and get to know each other better, before we know what the other likes in bed?”

We met a few weeks ago, and have gone on two dates. Both dates were nice (first for drinks, second for dinner), he walked me to my car each time. Though he started using pet-names with me pretty early on in our conversations before we went out.

I enjoy his company and I’m enjoying getting to know him better. Though he has made suttle remarks about intimacy and how he likes to be intimate. I don’t follow the “third date rule” (I’m not ready for a physical relationship yet).


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What Guys Said 1

  • Just tell him straight up you don’t want a physical relationship. If he keeps seeing you after that he’ll know he can’t have sex. You won’t be played it’s prerty simple

    • I’ve mentioned to him (almost verbatim) “When I say No I mean exactly No.” but he didn’t seem to have much of any reaction to it.

      I don’t feel uncomfortable about being alone with him, but I’m concerned that he’ll try to push the envelope with me...

      Is it wrong if I were to excuse myself and go home if he were trying to make something happen?

    • Nope. Not at all. You’ve told him upfront the boundaries and if he tries to push past that, you just get up and say goodnight and walk out. Don’t look back. If he calls you tell him he pushed past the limit you set so he cares more about sex than you and you walked

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