How do you deal with the case of the ex?

I've recently started dating an italian guy who just came out of a 7 year relationship with his italian ex. They moved countries together and was on her visa... so basically there is a serious bond there. She ended things and he's very sure it's over. He recently moved out and he still goes to her place to pick up his stuff or help her fix her tv. He's still in communication with her and he mentions it to me casually in conversation. i've let him know that he needs to start things with me once they are finished with each other's business, he says that they are done but somehow he does not realise that going to her place to pick up the rest of his stuff is still unfinished business. He does not hide their "friendship" from me and I'm wondering how permanent this friendship may be? He's even comfortable being naked in front of her, he sees nothing wrong with this. We are not yet serious and are still new to each other while taking things very slow. How should I deal with this and what else should I look out for?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Putting aside issues of culture and language and how Italians view love, which is very different from America obviously in a lot of respects I think the fact that you are concerned about him still being around her so much is a valid concern. Even though they were in a serious relationship and had some obvious history together there is still no reason why he should be around her anymore at all; he most certainly should not be naked around her at all anymore. I mean, how long does it take to get your stuff? It sounds like in some ways he doesn't want to or is finding it hard to move on. I think you should sit down and talk to him and tell him that you feel this behavior is unacceptable and that he needs to get his stuff, separate from her and move on. You shouldn't have to put up with that, he should be ready for an exclusive relationship with you

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This sounds suspicious girl. I think you should end it with him. If he is too comfortable with her and it's taking such a long time to ' take his stuff' from her apartment, that's a red flag. You don't want to be used as a rebound.

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What Guys Said 5

  • he would just use you to enter in your pants.. beware..

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  • cut them out of your life. nothing good comes from keeping in touch with an ex. Especially in a relationship.

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  • It could be that he doesn't want you to be a rebound

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  • His mind is still there if he keeps mentioning her. Just beware, or just wants sex

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  • Good story

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What Girls Said 4

  • Easy be friends

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  • Try giving him an ultimatum his “friendship” with his ex or a new fresh beginning with you. Decisions decisions...

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  • Don’t get involved. Plenty of men out there.

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  • He needs to cut from the root

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