Emotionally Unavailable because of a boy I was smitten with?

So there was this guy I was smitten with for two years. We broke it off 6 months ago because I couldn't take it anymore. I felt like I was being played and I wasn't sure if I was so, I cut off all contact with him. Haven't seen his face since. Recently I've been thinking about him less than before but I was still scared of seeing his face again. I told myself, I'm ready because I wanted to conquer my fears of seeing him again. Now I can't stop thinking about him and I miss him more than anything. What do I do? I feel like I can't move on emotionally from him. Still emotionally unavailable :(
Updates:
I looked at a picture of him. I didn't meet up with him or anything, but it clearly made me miss him.

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  • Hey, you had your resons for doing what you did, and with every breakup comes that moment when you have time to think, and time to reflect back on things, and emotion brings up the "wanting" and "hope" again. But if you really believe that breaking up was what was best, then it probably was. You still need time to heal, and right now you're NOT emotionally ready for anything but healing and surrounding yourself with good people, family and friends.

    You couldn't take the relationship anymore, and you chose to end contact for a reason. Two years is a long time to be falling for someone, and I personally think you did the right thing. It's better to end something and put a halt to it if it's not going anywhere, especially if it's upsetting yourself. I think you've hit that wall in breakups where you've done thinking and now you're reflecting on the past, and the good things. It's simply your heart reminding you how you felt about this guy.
    So, now this decision is up to you. After this time you've had to think about stuff, do you feel like reconnecting with this guy would benefit you? Would it change things for the better? Would you feel better with the relationship?
    OR
    DO you know it's not going to be any different? are you falsely hoping for something far better than what you know the outcome will be? Do you feel you're better off without him, even if you miss him?
    You need time to heal. Right now I would not jump to any conclusions yet. Take more time to think through and really make a decision for YOURSELF. think of YOU.

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    • Yah. I don't think I'm ready to move on emotionally. I just can't feel anything for anyone right now. Maybe I'm just tired of trying so hard for someone who didn't even appreciate it. I feel like I want him back but I know its the wrong thing to do. Its too late to go back and embarrass myself but if he were to message me again after a while then maybe I'll reconsider it. I feel like we both need to find ourselves.

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