Was it me acting too clingy that pushed him away or he just realised he doesn't want a relationship?

Me and this boy I love had been talking for a couple weeks on text and he showed signs that he is interested in me too. We met face to face on a Wednesday for like two hours. When he dropped me off he asked if I was down to go out again Friday night. But when I came home and was texting him I realised his texts got a bit blunt. I think it was cuz like we already saw each other face to face and planned to go Friday again so there wasn’t much need to text a lot. BUT ME BEING THE CLINGY PERSON THAT I AM I was still texting him saying things like what you doing or what im doing and blah blah. When he was being blunt i asked him if he was okay. It went like this:

Me: “Are you okay?”
Him: “Yeah why”
Me: “oh I don't know you just seem a little off”
Him: “I’m fine”
Me: “I swear if you don’t wanna talk u can just tell me and ill leave u alone”
Him: “hahaha what?”
Me: “What am I not speaking English hahah”
Him: “haha true”
Me: “are we still going out tomorrow?”
Him: “don’t know tbh”
Me: “Oh okay thats alright I think I got the message”
Him: “huh? What message?”
Me: “That you’re obviously not interested”
Him: “its not that tho”
Me: “then just tell me if its me or something else, its best if I know then to be left wondering about it”
Him: “its just you sound really down for a relationship and tbh im not in the right place for one”
Me: “oh okay I understand, Im sorry”
Him: “its okay don’t apologise”
Me: “so we still cool as friends?”
Him: “yeah of course”

Oh and by the way last year he had gotten out of a 3 year relationship with his ex! And our convo ended like that. After that day we stopped messaging and snapping each other. We still have each other on social media though and he sees my posts and stories. I think it was me being clingy and looking desperate and so ready for a relationship that turned him off. But maybe he just suddenly got scared to be in a relationship again and wanted to stop contact with me so he doesn't get feelings. What do you guys think?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • oooo nooo you did come accross too strong... leave it til later and send one more message simply saying that you was excited you forgot the two day rule and you still hope to see him Friday. leave it at that and wait to see if he contacts you. if he is cool and says yes, make arrangements and then leave it again until Friday

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    • thank you for ur reply! Oh and yes in the convo I did tell him if he wanted to still see me Friday but he said he didn't know. There was something in his mind. So I am thinking I just seemed needy and he didn't like that Or he just suddenly lost interest in me. I wish I knew :(

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    • yes you are right thank youuu!!

    • no worries and if thats you in the selfie you won't have any problem finding a new guy anyway... just be a little less eager in future ;)

  • Yep, you are too clingy. Give a little distance, tease him a little and he will be down.

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    • Trueee But do you think if I give him distance there could be a chance he'd come back? Or will he always look down on me and remember my clinginess?

    • That's where the teasing comes in. It's tricky, no guarantees, but back off, give him a few days, a week or two, whatever, then reach out.

      The advice I always give is that guys like to chase, so give them something to chase.

      And there's no guarantees, no magic bullet. Maybe he didn't like you for some reason, but that's OK. I'm sure there are plenty of guys that will!

Most Helpful Girl

  • It appears he isn't ready for a relationship though I don't think you came across clingy. I would back off and search for someone who wants more if that's what you're after

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 10

  • You're close to the Situation, so you have the best feel for this. I tend to think he felt he could not be brutally honest with you here, though.

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  • clinginess is rarely viewed negtively if done by a girl. I promise you he just didn't want to commit

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    • omg you made my day thank you! Oh yes im sure I think he just wasn't ready. But sometimes I get this feeling that imagine he didn't like me in person like maybe I looked different to what he expected, but at the same time I'm like but why would he ask me if I wanted to go out again Friday night. Do you think it could be because he found me unattractive or something or you are sure it was just him not wanting to commit.

  • You are being harsh on yourself - You said he is just out of a 3 year relationship so he either doesn't want to commit so soon or afraid of being hurt again if he was - My analysis is you caught him at wrong time more than anything

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  • It seems like after you met he realized he didn't like you. You asking him all those questions just added more of a reason not to go ou with you

    And 3 years is a long time.

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  • he's not ready but also you could be being clingy. I get creeped out seeing a person and talking to a person too much like I need to ride the wave we have to have our own lives and if a relationship happens cool. if its forced especially after something bad you get nervous and want to break up because you feel uncomfortable and you don't want that to happen. Calm down take it slow , worry about you and your life. let him want to be with you, not you forcing him to be with you

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  • Clingy no needy yes. With the way you constantly looked for reassurance it sounds like a full time job to convince you they like you. Nice men look for women that do stuff on their own.

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  • All that story. "... had been talking for a couple weeks on text..." This is your problem - quit doing this. You cannot forge a relationship by texting. Period.
    He's just not that interested. NEXT!!

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  • Alright here's the deal. He wanted you to put out. You didn't. He talked about you to his guy friends and they advised him to move over to the next girl. Also, once you've met a guy, try going ahead by meeting him again and stay away from ususal conversation on any social media platform. That keeps things interesting, its not being clingy or desperate just let it happen naturally.
    Remember, once you've met face to face, you're onto the next level. So stay away from texting. Just a normal good morning would be enough until you meet up next

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  • He is not ready for a relationship

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  • Friend zone 😂😂🤷‍♂️

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What Girls Said 4

  • I think he just felt like it was too much too soon.

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  • Sounds like he is not ready yet
    Or he might be planning other things as well.

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  • What about meeting again to know what he realy feels

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  • You were to desperate

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