How do I know when a guy is flirting or hitting on me?


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  • It's like how do you know what cards your opponent holds in poker? You make some moves and see how they respond. Like let's say you hit the flop reasonably well on a wet board with a decent hand and you're in position and right now the opponent seems to have a wide range on cards (he merely limp/called PF), but he ends up check-raising you when you C-Bet. In that case they're communicating generally that their hand is super strong or super weak, but you won't find that out if you just check to the turn. You'll be quite blind if you don't do anything in response or just check/call.

    So like if you want to find out more, you can flirt back, for example, and soon it will become increasingly clear through your actions and the person's responses how they feel about you. I don't put much stock in being very passive and trying to read signs. Most winning pokers have to be more aggressive than that, and same case with people who get dates as I see it. It's a very rare kind of player who can be passive and just sort of check/call and not make any bets of their own and still place their opponent on a narrow hand range.

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    • Also on a wet board a check-raise might mean that they're on a draw and making a strong semi-bluff (but with decent equity). In that case you might call if your hand is reasonably strong and see what the turn card brings and how they respond to it.

    • Also let's say a guy does like you but, at your kind of age, he might be a bit on the shy side when it comes to making it obvious. So here you might be all passive and playing, "He likes me, he likes me not", but the problem is that he's playing the same game: "She likes me, she likes me not", and both of you trying to seek guaranteed signs of mutual affection only to give none. Then he might confuse that for a lack of mutual interest and then go for the girl who does give him clearer signs that the attraction is mutual. So you gotta take some risks and make some moves as I see it -- both sexes have to do this in my opinion unless you have an extremely persistent and forward type of guy.

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