Do things slow when you settle?

I've been dating a guy for a few months we used have sex every time we seen each other when we were first dating but now we see each other a 3 or 4 times a week
We sometimes don't have sex for while week
Everything's great between us but is this normal

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think so -- at least probably for most people, including me. For a start I don't have the ability to climax 5 times in one day like I used to a decade ago, maybe a 2-3 times tops on a good day. And there's some level of familiarity there where it's not quite as exciting merely to undress my wife when we shower together on a daily basis. It's not like every single time I see her I'm eager to tear her clothes off; now it's like I don't want to mess up her clothes (I'm speaking figuratively). :-D

    Also I don't know why but my wife no longer likes having sex on her period. She's more self-conscious about it than when we were early into the dating. And we don't go out for dinner every single night -- for a start because we both gained a bit of weight doing that in the beginning. So things just tend to slow down a bit. I try to mix things up and make things exciting here and there.

    For our sex life one of my friends got my wife a pillow where, if it's flipped one way, it means she's not in the mood for sex. If it's flipped the other way, it means she wants to have sex. That was kind of a half-joke present but it actually really made things easier to initiate sex, confident that she was in the mood when I was. So that actually helped a lot, funnily enough, to have sex on a more regular basis.

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    • Actually some of it was just difficulty with timing. When we were early in the dating process, it didn't matter. We were living separately and when we went on a date, usually it was with the knowledge in advance that we'd end up sleeping together that night, and she was always open for it and I was always seeking it. After living together, it became a bit more tricky to figure out when we're both in the mood, and funnily that pillow made a world of difference and made things a lot easier.

    • Also something interesting in my case. Maybe because I've seen my wife naked a gazillion times, the mere sight of her being nude and walking around the house is not enough always to make me want to pounce on her. So something changed years into the relationship. Now I actually get more excited not when she's butt-naked, but in some sexy lingerie. And for some weird reason I've developed a skirt fetish, just on her, like if she's walking around in a short skirt, I just want to lift it up and grab her ass and pull down her underwear and go. So it's like it has become more exciting now to me when my wife is wearing some clothes (not too much) than when she's completely naked, since I don't get to see that quite as often.

    • And what I said might sound a bit depressing but for me not so much. We had a strong honeymoon phase that lasted about 3 years or so, always jumping on each other and going until we were completely out of breath lying next to each other, only to catch our breath and go again, and again. So we had that. We might only have some semblance of that here and there, but it was a binding experience, and I still remember that about her, and hopefully her about me. And we still have an echo of that from time to time, when we're feeling most strongly about each other, where we have that one night here and there where it feels like when we just started dating.

  • sometimes but that's why keeping things fresh and interesting and putting in extra effort on both sides is really important

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What Girls Said 1

  • You both are getting Comfy Now Somehow with One another and Some, hun, Of the Thrill is Going, Not Flowing.
    Yes, Normal but actually this would be in a Stage of a Couple who Have been Together as Two birds of a Feather for Longer than this. Try and Spice up your Sex Life and Make sure the Convo never Goes out that Door. xx

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