HELP PLEASE! Should I be okay with my boyfriend hanging out with a female friend who doesn't want to meet me?



He was friends with her before we met and barley humg out with her not ling before we met (2 months).

Despite the fact that she wasn't a good friend to him, he likes hanging out with her because she's the only one he knows with the same taste in music. He likes sharing his music with someone who shares the same genre.

he's lied to me about her before and nearly broke up because of her. He later fonally blocked her when i found out more things after moving in with him

I feel bad because its the only person he shares music with. I tried and im not at the same level of understanding it with him. But at the same time I dont feel safe because he lied to me for the fear of me misunderstanding. He says he's too scared for him to show me his phone for the idea of me misunderstanding and that doesn't make me feel safe.

he's done a lot for me. Even put up with arguing for me. he's spent tons of money on me and faces my parents who didn't accept him. But I've dated guys who I've had no issues with and had cheated on me anyways.

Am I unreasonable? Whats a solution?

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I thinknits okay to have separate friends but the fact he's lied about her and she supposedly doesn't want to meet you is a major red flag. You're not being unreasonable but I'm unsure of the solution as I don't have all the intimate details. You're gonna have to figure this one out on your own but just know you're not in the wrong.

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    • He said in one of his previous relationships, his girlfriend thought he cheated on her with another female friend. So thats why he never told me about her.

      I had no prblem with him having a female friend. The problems didn't occur until i began to ask stuff and uncertainty built up. I had guy friends too. But i was open about it. I didn't mind showing him my texts. I was embarressed cause i prefer to keep conversations to myself but I did all i can to be transparwnt.

      We had issues when he began to mention her later. I thought it was a band friend but minths later, i found out it was a different girl that he never told me about. He mentioned her out of the blue he went to her house. Id ask him (calmly and in an adult manner) that i felt jelous and insecure but hed only freak out and react aggressivley either towards her or me. He would turn the tables on me. We moved in and i found out he hid more. He says depression isn't an excuse for a lot of things when it came to my friends but

    • When I asked how that makes her any different, he got stuck.

      Like I said he's done so much but has done wrong. He contradicyed his own rules in dating. He says his family lookds down on me when i have guy friends but its jo different than him with her :/

What Girls Said 2

  • I don't see a reason why she would want to meet you. I think it's okay if he hangs out with her since she is just a friend.

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    • Their relationship made me uncomfortable. he's gone to her house. I saw some texts and he seems so much more engaged with her than he was with me even when we first dated. He never told me who she was at first until I asked. He said to her that it would ease the relationship if we met amd she refused

    • You should ask your boyfriend about it so you won't have to think about it

  • Nope! Its asking for trouble and drama and anxiety. My husband and I just have a no opposite sex friend rule between us unless it's our group of friends all together. Fixes that problem. If she won't meet you tell him it's you or her or better yet... dump him. You dont need that

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