He is "Not actively seeking a partner" ?

I messaged a guy first on a dating site. We had a few good exchanges and then he says he's open to meeting people (especially those that are interested in one of our mutual interests) but isn't actively looking for a new partner. It was an answer prompted by a question from me about what he wanted vs something unsolicited he offered up out of the blue. At the time I kind put him on the friend train but kept chatting.

Two months later we're still fully engaged in fun exchanges regularly (its been very deep, intellectual and emotionally intimate but not overly flirty or sexual) We have talked relationships from our past and vague future goals for them. We have discussed about being busy professional people who enjoyed alone time a lot and the struggles of balancing that in dating with busy schedules. I know he's been talking about me to others since he came to me one day saying his BFF knew me and only had sweet things to say about me (and hoped it wasn't creepy AF that we had that connection). In reality his BFF and mine are great friends and we eventually established each of us had met the other's BFF at various parties over the years which is pretty amazing in itself.

He's now asked to meet one-on-one in person for the first time (after 2.5 months of chatting) which I guess has surprised me because a group meeting with the BFFs would have been a better friend first meeting if that was the intention. Now I'm second guessing the comment I took as a soft rejection and wondering if we're going on a date?

Was the "not actively seeking a partner" thing a rejection? I know "I don't want a relationship right now" is a rejection but this is softer and could also be "hey I'm going with the flow and just actively mingling to see if I click with someone" which isn't a rejection. what are your thoughts?


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What Guys Said 1

  • He probably caught feelings for you during thode 2 months of you guys talking

    Wait when he asked to meet what were you guys gonna do?

    • The invite was for drinks

    • Oh well wait this after those
      That day and see what he does

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