Most Helpful Guys
I'm in this situation, too. I don't think it's really a problem, although the disapproval of some other people can be annoying. In my case, the cultural and linguistic differences are much more formidable.
I think it helps if you are equals or close to it in at least some areas of life, it helps with compatibility, and seeing each other as equals in a partnership is definitely helpful. Also having some common interests.
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I personally have dated a 20 year old and I am 40, and personally every woman around 18 plus who i've spoken to says younger guys are so immature and just cannot handle it when they get told no..
whereas someone my age will treat a woman right and not disrespect her
I see though from some of the comments cos purely out of jealousy or whatever their issue is, there is no need to belittle anyone or hate on anyone for their preferences... I mean for the record I have dated women my own age, it never works out... women younger seem to be more laid back and understanding...
but then that is what I've noticed
at least with someone older you aren't going to be used or treated like crap, or when you get older, feel unloved...
Most Helpful Girl
I believe that if both parties are equally invested, I don't see there being a lot of problems. This means realizing that other (non-important people) will have opinions about it, may talk and point fingers - however this is just to pass without comment. Stick together!
Points (YOU decide whether they are pro's and/or con's)
* You can be equals with an age gap of 20 years (my largest gap has been 19 years). Maturity or same level of intelligence is needed to make up for age gap sometimes.
* It will push both of you to self insight and awareness; some things happen around 20 that a 40 year old often happily lives without, is self doubt and jealousy. Even though it can exist, there is a difference in behavior/understanding.
* You can have the same interests, which is helping, although different interests still work if you have a respectful relationship with own time involved - we are individuals after all :)
* I found that same values and same direction in life (both enjoy traveling for an example) as vital because one always wanting to be home/traditional and the other is a wandering spirit, will ultimately destroy the relationship. This goes for similar age relations as well though but the age gap makes it even harder.
* You're most likely in different places in life, one has done/achieved more than the other. Life does teach you things so there will likely be a difference i problem solving, understanding, and communication.
* Family may start sooner than you had planned
* Age gap seems large now but the older you get, the lesser this gap will be.
* Friends/family not understand the reasoning and you may lose people around you.
* Questions will arise if the older person has children tapping in on teenage years. The younger person need to stay as a parental figure and not a friend to the kids, which is harder if the gap is smaller to the children.
* NOTHING says that the older person will die before the younger person. This is not even an issue yet. Leave that for later.
* Respect for life lessons and life measures is paramount - it should be in all relationships but here it is crucial - both ways.
* Power play can be a problem based on age. Keep a look out.
* Jealousy because of age gap is common. Support each other!
* Openness regarding opinions and what to allow and not, is much more important here because the thought processes are different.
My biggest age gap relationship was the best one for me - MY timing wasn't right, though. May be, again :( <3
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