Is it just me or are nice people rejected a lot?

Especially the guys. At first I thought, it's normal to get rejected once in awhile but then I kinda started seeing a trend. Nice guys and nice girls are often rejected for mean ass douche bags. Then there'll be a whole story about how hard it is to find a nice person and I'm like What the hell?

I might be wrong. This is just my opinion and my question is, Is it true or not? Are nice people rejected too much? If it's true, then why are there soo many complaints about not finding nice people?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • True...
    I have spent my whole life being kind, considerate and generally really caring to both guys and girls and yet every time I ever told a girl my feelings, they said they were sorry but I'm not their type and a week later they are with an asshole who cheats on them and uses them for sexual means only :/

    I don't understand, why ask for a nice guy and when one comes along, they reject them *Facepalm*

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  • Nice people are often rejected, yes. But this typically revolves around "people pleasers." People pleasers, well, attempt to please people--but they don't do it out of the kindness of their hearts. They try to give people things, expecting to be given things in return.

    An example of this is women who sleep with men, then expect the men to be in a relationship with them, because they slept with them.

    The male version is a guy who does all kinds of things for a woman, then feels entitled to her vagina, because he was nice to her.

    People innately don't like these kinds of people, because they think, "Why is this person being abnormally nice to me? What do they want? What are they trying to get from me?"

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Most Helpful Girl

  • nope it's just you

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What Guys Said 20

  • Yes, and it's how it's supposed to be. See, this is what we call natural selection. If you want something, you have to fight for it if it comes to that. Nice guys are too nice for their own good, because life runs them over and stamps on them. And yes, especially guys. They need to be decisive and know what they want in life or in anything really, so being nice and acting how people want you to act is a set-up for disaster.

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  • It's true, but only when you're younger. I think girl's like confidence, and it takes them a little while to tell the difference between confidence and doucheyness.

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  • Yeah. Happens a lot. Just happened to me. Girl got pregnant. Not mine. Then threw me to the curb. Almost literally. She called HR, and got me canned. We didn't even do anything. Just kissed a few times. I'm trying to fight it, but I'm not crossing my fingers.

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  • Most people view "niceness" as a form of weakness, cowardice.

    Like, everybody would be a raging asshole if they could, so the only reason you're not is because you're scared. You must be a punk ass bitch, why else would you display kindness and fellowship? A real man is at war with the world as an extension of warring against himself."

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    • Maybe, but if a girl is cowardly and weak it didn't matters much, to most guys.

  • not just you..

    the excuses I have gotten are

    Too nice
    It's not you, it's me

    then after they go away and get used by the players

    Why aren't there any nice ones about

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  • It's definitely true, it becomes less as you get older, but still frequent. Maybe when I get even older, it'll become even less frequent.

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  • Girls tend to be not sure about what they want, while if a guy rejected a nice girl it's most likely because she is not physically attractive enough.

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  • Depends, if they’re a good looking nice person they won’t get rejected. However ugly or average looking nice people get rejected.

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  • I think I'm nice and I've practically never NOT been rejected.

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  • I don't honestly believe that most people make how nice a person is the top priority.

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  • Yeshh! Nice guys finish last😢
    No wonder why I’m single😂🤣

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  • Yes. Because nice people are seen as boring. Same with quiet and shy people.

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  • its just you, I've seen plenty of nice guys getting the fish

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  • That is my impression and experience as well

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  • Never approached anybody so I wouldn't know lol

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  • Yesss literally story of my Life

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  • I’m a nice guy and I never get the girl.

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  • l get rejected at times

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  • Yeah it happens a lot in high school, and happens a bit in college but less. Usually the girls complaining about not finding nice guys ar ethe same ones dating "bad boys" or going for men who seem like the douchey lif eof the party kind.

    On top of this niceness by societal standards can seem boring. I hear a lot on this site and others is that a person needs to have more than niceness as a quality. I think it's stupid to think that because there are people who are nice and get looked over even though they're ntelligent, musically talented, decent sketch artists, good with cars, goods with animals, good with computers, or a mix of any of the options above plus whatever else you can't think of.

    I think it comes down to how nice people portray themself and the fact that in the world now a days you need to strike attraction at first impression instead of striking it over time as a person gets to know you (in most cases). Also the advice of being friends first is now shamed and you're seen as a "nice guy tm" if you do try to get to know a person or establish a friendship with someone before trying to date them. What mAkes it worse is if you fall for a friend you still get lumled in with the "nice guy tm" crowd. The same goes for being a decent person and not having the best of luck in the dating department. Overall though it's just how the world is now a days.

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  • Yes they are rejected all the time and it's much more likely to happen to men. Nice people by societal standards are boring.

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