How to be less psychotic in love?

Okay so this is a serious question. I have some very bad experiences with men I've dated and that has made me somewhat psychotic when it comes to new relationships. Like if a person doesn't reply to me or simply forgets to reply I immediately think it's because they don't like me or "maybe they're just playing me" and so on. Sometimes I'll even cry through the night if I don't believe they treated me right.

I can't be rational about it and say "they're just busy" etc because I can't convince myself of that in the situation. The thing is I know I'm a good girlfriend but I get so insecure over the smallest things. And I'm so scared to be used... So how do I stop being so stupid and be more rational in love?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You didn’t mention your sexual history with the guys that have made you mistrust men. I’m not saying this is the case, but I would say that if you’ve been quick to go to bed with these guys, stop doing that. It’s the number one classic female mistake to think that a good girl can fix a bad boy by falling for him and letting him have his way with you. Nothing else will make him disappear more quickly. Making the guy wait (on the order of months, at least) is the best way you have of making sure he is really into you. If he is, his interest will hold long term.

    The advice of @laurieluvsit is excellent. In particular, if you’ve been meeting guys in hookup places like bars and nightclubs, a change of venue will definitely improve the caliber of men you encounter.

    Good luck finding happiness!

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    • I only had sex with one person. He was an asshole but that was my own fault. I should've seen it 😅😅. But the other guys I didn't have sex with...

    • OK, good. Then I would say don’t get so involved so quickly. Protect yourself by playing it a bit cooler and let the guys chase you rather than wait for every text.

Most Helpful Girl

  • What a wonderful question!
    Insecurity and lack of trust will constantly devastate your relationships.
    Just study and read a lot about trust.
    One thing to do is find a boy that loves to help others.
    You can do that by joining one or more volunteer organizations like the Red Cross or CERT or something like that.
    There you will find boys that are selfless and place the highest priority on helping other and not their first concern on selfishness as you have be experiencing now with some boys.
    You will love it and meet many new friends of both genders that are the greatest people on earth, I PROMISE!
    Best Wishes Ms Em! :)

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What Guys Said 8

  • Have no clue but was dating a girl and she was amazing but she was too inscure she always thought i was cheating or not wanting her eventaully i had to break up with her cause it was getting extremly annoying and hurtful.
    I don't mind psychotic love but i mean come on. We were together for 6 months tried to make it work really did but just won't working.

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  • You can't judge all relationships based on a few. You just need to realise that some people do other things besided text all day. Except me, I have nothing but time. If you need an immediate response every text, you are just going to keep beating yourself up. Get a hobby, go out with a girlfriend and leave your phone at home. That way you can have real conversations.

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  • Thats how you are, you can't change it but you could stop over thinking, maybe the fact that we are all human beings and we all need keep ourselves busy so we dont get bored would help you next time you overthink, if the guy said yes then he saw something in you that he loves so him not loving you isn't the reason, he is busy and is doing something

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  • You are probably overthinking it, also just be natural and be your self, people will appreciate you more if you just be your self, be natural, your self

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  • This is something I need to work on too. If I sense that there's an issue in the relationship that's getting in the way of how I "envision" things, I can go crazy pretty damn fast lol.

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  • Your question is wrong!..
    Love makes you crazy!..
    Only psycho fall in love..
    So yeah!.. Being in love is actually license of being psychotic

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  • Relax

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  • "Busy" is bullshit. They're being assholes. Think about it. Are "you" too busy? Does it take you 5 or even 6 hours to respond? Who's that fucking busy? - Honestly. Both guys and girls are just narcissistic ass wipes nowadays. Listen to your "first thought". It's usually always right. If they're busy it's usually fucking around.

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    • They're just not putting "you" as a priority damn it.

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    • Well turns out this fucking baby knows more than you if you don't think people can legit just be busy.

    • @Kaneki05 LMfuckingAO. Ok kid. @Emmdk listen to your first mind. Don't give narcissists your heart.

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