How do you protect your self-worth when rejected?

So this girl I really liked randomly cut all contact off. I was a bit upset about the fact that she couldn't simply tell me that she wasn't interested and just decided to ghost on me (at very bad moment because at the time I just got out of hospital when I never heard back from her).

The person she rejected me for is the 'cool guy' type (DJ, knows plenty of people) while I'm just an 'okay guy' (good social life etc. just not the 'cool guy' appeal). This is obviously very superficial, and I bet that he was simply a better match for her, but I can't help but find myself in a situation where I feel like I lack something (in this case the 'cool' factor). As much as I feel like I've moved on from the idea of being with her, I feel shit about 'not being cool enough'.

I wonder, how do you protect your sense of self-worth in a situation like this?

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  • I don't see it as a matter of protecting your self-worth. I see it more as a matter of eliminating your fears and negative thinking. Like you can take a rejection to your ego and think you suck at attracting women, or you can just think you two have incompatible tastes and move on to the next girl, and easily.

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    • Like let's use a job interview as an analogy, since I think it helps for people in your boat to look at a different kind of situation. If someone applies for a job and gets rejected and someone else is hired with different qualities, they can think like, "I suck so much, I'm worthless, no one wants to hire me." In that case they'll feel terrible and their self-esteem will plummet. Or they can think like, "Okay, that wasn't the job for me. I'll go apply for another one," in which case there is no blow to their self-esteem.

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    • Damn dude you sound so down to earth. Thanks again.

    • Cheers. Well, I have the advantage of some extra years to figure these things out. I was in your same shoes before. I took rejections in a devastating way before, until I didn't, and life became a lot easier after that.

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