Why do men lie by omission?

Even if their girlfriend is pretty understanding. Even if she might be upset, but tries to understand and come to an agreement. She doesn’t yell at him, or berate him. Or accuse him or anything.

Because, usually when a man omits information, and their SO finds out, she’s way more upset about that then what he omitted.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • It is in everyone's nature to avoid self incrimination. That is why the stand oath is "... the whole truth and nothing but the truth...". I also say that when someone uses "to be honest" (I assume they are honest all the time) they actually are implying to give to the whole truth. Sometimes one might omit just to avoid dealing with it: embarrassed, confrontation, upsetting, ... a whole host of reasons. Keep in mind that if you want to enforce strict continuous full disclosure that can come back around on you someday. Many of these imperfections always seem to have a payback day when a forgive might be required the other direction.

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    • I just am not sure why my boyfriend would omit the information that a girl was involved when he went out with friends. He has done this twice now with two different girls. I am not one to overreact, or accuse him or get mad about hanging out with girls. I jus question why he doesn’t tell me.

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    • When I asked why he didn’t tell me. He said “because i thought you might feel weird”. But, i just feel disrespected even more because he knows how i feel towards her. And he was going to omit that info until i asked!

    • You are right in this case. He needs to tell you about her because this upsets you.

  • Because sometimes the information isn't relevant. I don't see the idea of lying by omission as valid. What information I choose to withhold I do so at my discretion, I have no greater obligation to share than my willingness dictates. I am my own person and I will not be owned.

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    • It’s not about being owned. It’s about respecting your partner and not giving them reasons to be suspicious and feel they can’t trust you.

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    • No one said I’ve done that lol. How about respecting your partner and not doing shady things, or things you know would hurt them, and then LIE about it and not facing the consequences because you lack integrity.

    • Integrity? Lying is one thing, withholding information because you know another's frame of reference would perceive a molehill as a mountain is another.

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What Guys Said 8

  • I could ask the same thing about women.. They tend to do that kind of thing WAY more often. We do it to spare feelings because for some reason in this day and age feelings seem to matter more than facts.

    Please do your self a favor and dont make blanket statements.. When you do that you alienate half of the species.

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    • I am asking why men do it.

    • and i gave an answer. You might not like my answer, but i gave you one.

    • Why spare feelings, when the truth is what we ask for. Sure, people get upset. But, I feel women get MORE upset when they find out their man omitted something.

  • Usually it’s something we just didn’t think was relevant

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    • Like a girl being there when you hangout with your friends?

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    • Yeah I suppose I made a mistake there, I really did misread it, I'm sorry.

    • It’s ok. Thank you.

  • ... Because we don't want to tell, or have to tell, our girl everything all the time?

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    • What if it’s hanging around a girl she doesn’t like?

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    • It has to do with boundaries and telling your partner what you do and don’t feel comfortable with.

    • ... Which is literally what insecurity is if you try to control who they spend time around.

      Look, it's whatever. If you think that the way you're doing things now will work for you, then do it that way. It's no skin off my back. But it doesn't really seem like it is working out, does it?

  • We are taught that lying is wrong, but we sometimes just don't want people to know something about us, I find it pretty natural to just not mention it then. Better than lying and saying it didn't happen.

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  • sorry your boyfriend has obviously done you wrong but here's a quick life lesson... its not just guys that do that...

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    • I don’t lie to him by omission :/

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    • Yeah :/ i just don’t know if I can trust he will be honest with me. I only react negatively when I find out he omitted the info.

    • see how it goes for a while but if your mistrust continues i think you will need to ask yourself if its a relationship you need to be in

  • because they don't want to mess it up, which usually leads to even more messing up

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    • Well, then they shouldn’t do things that WOULD mess it up.

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    • I wouldn’t. I never have. My character doesn’t change when I’m drunk and i don’t do drugs.

    • That's good, luckily for me i can control myself under the influence of alcohol i haven't tested my drug tolerance yet although i'm familiar with weed but that's really nothing special.

  • And why do you generalize?

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  • Why invite trouble?

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