Dating a girl for 6-7 months and still have a profile on online dating websites?!

my boyfriend and I met on a dating website. We've been together for 6-7 months now and we have a good relationship even though we still take it one day at a time. Yesterday I found that he had pictures of girls (from dating websites obviously) on his Iphone and then I went on the dating website to see if he still had a profile and he did... He even updated it in the last month. I confronted him about it and he said it was just for fun because he has a new laptop so he can take pictures and upload them easily. But that's not enough for me. I said I wanted to talk about it because obviously we don't have the same definition of a exclusive relationship. I think its wrong to be on a dating site if you're not single. How would you react if that happened to you? What should I do?

He apologized many times and said that he didn't thought that it would hurt me. He didn't try to avoid the subject and answered all my question. He deleted his account right away but I know girls were still sending him MSG but I don't know if he did too


Most Helpful Girl

  • That is shady. He is either a simpleton too foolish to recognize how wrong this is (and I doubt you are dating someone like that), or he is up to no good. Sure, maybe he isn't actually trying to cheat, but this is wrong on so many levels that doesn't even matter. 1. He's lying to these girls by pretending he is single 2. He's emotionally cheating 3. He has an amazingly sad need for attention from others 4. His ability to empathize on his own, without you actually having to tell him this is not cool, is lacking.

    I personally would have to end the relationship, but that is me and based on a past relationship with a narcissist who would do odd things because he really just couldn't help doing what worked for him in spite of how hurtful it could be to me. At the least, I would keep my eyes open and I would wonder at the strength of your relationship. After 6 or 7 months of dating, I would not be at the stage of "taking it one day at a time". I would be expecting more of an emotional connection and thoughtfulness from my partner. I see that you are young, so I will take that into consideration that I doubt you would feel quite the way I do, but just keep your eyes open as to his continuing actions. This may well be the tip of the iceberg of a bigger problem.

    • Thanks a lot Tamikaze! I am still young and we didn't want to take things very seriously because we both had deceiving relationships in the past, but there's one thing I need in a relationship and its honesty. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt, because he seemed like a very very nice guy and I think he deserves a second chance... but I'll still keep an eye or two on him in the future :)

    • Your welcome. I hope all goes well!

    • I agree. I hope you could answer my question too...

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What Guys Said 2

  • If he is dating you and at the same time has an open account on a dating site, something is wrong. He probably has doubts about the relationship that he is in right now or he is not serious about it. Maybe he thinks that you guys are in an “open relationship.”

    I personally don’t agree with his excuse (he got a new laptop and want to post photos online. From what I can tell, and this is just my two cents, he still want to fool around/flirt with people online because he has on open account. If he wants to put pictures on the web, why not place them (both of you together) on facebook, myspace, photobucket, picasa or some other social network of your choice? This way he can share them with his friends and family. It should not be a dating site.

    You should ask him to disable his dating account and if he wants to share photos with friends, tell him to join a photo sharing web site.

    • I agree, there's obviously something wrong in the way he sees our relationship! Maybe not wrong but different from mine. I have to talk about that with him and see if we want the same thing. Thank you :)

      ps: I asked him to erase it and he did it. I told him I wouldn't care if he had a facebook account like I do because its not showing the world that you're looking for a relationship lol

  • definitely suspect.. but maybe he's just a person that likes attention.. doesn't mean he's a cheater


What Girls Said 1

  • DId you guys talk about being exclusive? Is he meeting these girls? Talking to them?

    • We never really talked about it but one day he said I was his girlfriend and I told him: oh really? I didn't even know we were exclusive :P and he said: of course we are!

      And no he never met with these girls. He calls me all the time and he spend all his free time with me anyway so I don't think he has the time to meet anyone :P

      But maybe he talked to them. All I'm sure about is that some girls message him and that he looks at some of their profile pictures afterwards.