Ladies, do you think you could love and marry a man who made quite a bit less money than you?

I have some questions about finances and dating as I've been reading online posts about women who earn more money than their husbands.

If you started dating a guy and really liked him, but found out after a couple months that he earned $10,000 less per year than you did, would that negatively affect your relationship? $25,000 less per year? Would you leave him?

Have you ever been in a relationship like this? How was it? Would you be willing to be the breadwinner in a future relationship?

What kind of worries would you have going into a relationship with a man who earns less than you?

Would you go on a first date with a man knowing he made earned than you? Would you marry a man who earned less than you?

Do you think it's sexist, hypocritical, or wrong to desire/require your boyfriend to earn more than you? What reasons do you think you or other women have about such standards?

Finally, with feminism in the west, should men up their financial standards when it comes to dating and be more focused on partners who make a similar amount to what they make?

Thanks for your time,


Most Helpful Girl

  • Personally, I'd prefer to be in a relationship with someone making equal pay as me, simply because it would help me to view the relationship as an equal partnership. But, as long as they are able to hold their own and not rely on me completely (unless under certain circumstances) I don't think I'd care about our pay gaps.

    I think it's a bit weak and degrading to aim for someone to make money for you. I myself have a massive ego and issue with dominance, so it'd make me feel useless to rely on my partner to make more money than me.

    I definitely think that men should think more about their futures financially, and aim higher than I assume they are when it comes to pay amounts.

    To each their own, though.

    • Reading this, I'm realizing that I aim to ensure that I'm in a relationship that would at least result in two financially stable people, if there should be a split.

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    • Actually, in my mind, it's dominance over/towards my partner. As in, I won't submit to the power they'd automatically have for being a breadwinner. So instead, I'd want to match that power, if that makes sense?

      And I completely understand, that's a valid worry about being a breadwinner.

    • Oh, that makes sense then. I figured it wouldn't be dominance over your partner since you want an equal partner but that makes sense. Less dominance and more a sense of self security, I guess?

      Honestly the stress would probably be another really hard aspect for me but I would likely just tell myself to man up and deal with it lol.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Why did you invite me to a question for the ladies? lol ^_^;

    • I just invited everyone incase someone had something to say on the topic lol.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • His financial status has no influrence over my love for him. I think he should have a job or at least not be unemployed for a long time. But he could be a janitor whatever. I don't care

    • You wouldn't have any concerns or worries because of having to be the breadwinner that might make you resentful or angry at him?

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    • I don't really like the idea of marriage so I'd still like to live like before. Each having their own money but splitting some bills. I wouldn't mind taking a bigger part of the bills though

    • I can respect that then. At first i thought you weren't considering the scenario from a long term perspective. I don't like marriage as an idea either.

      Thank for your response!

  • Depends. If he is not able to financially support himself, no.

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah, I'll probably end up making higher than average once I graduate college so it would probably be difficult to find a guy my age that makes more anyway lol.

    • What if he had made slightly above minimum wage and had dreams of being a writer that he was working towards or something, for example? Or do you still need some higher level of financial security from your partner?

    • That's fine.

  • I don't think I could. It would depend on what his aims and ambitions are. My boyfriend made less money than me when we met but he was still studying at the time. He's very intelligent, very ambitious, and now he makes a lot more than I do. I knew that he'd eventually become successful because of this. If that weren't the case and he was just content with a low-paid job I wouldn't have been interested in him.

    • I guess we all have our own values, for you that seems to be money. I think you mix ambition with financial success a little, could someone not be ambitious with a career they love that happens to make less money? Could they still be successful at their job and life? Of course they could. People can be ambitious about being teachers, who we all know are underpayed.

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    • Basically I plan to have children and in order to do so I need him to be able to support me. There's no set amount, he doesn't have to make a ton of money, it just has to be enough. I'm not so shallow that money is my only motivation for dating a guy, I've been on dates with guys who were quite wealthy but I turned them down because they were assholes. Most men are more happy when they're the main earners so it's unlikely that a man would leave because of that.

    • I realize it's unlikely a man would leave because of that, I was drawing a hypothetical comparison, though I'll admit it was probably a poor one. I still feel like the expectation to be supported by your partner is kind of hypocritical though.

      If it's only smart to find a financially secure partner then finding someone who wants you to support them is stupid. Thus by your logic a smart man would leave a woman who wanted him to support her. If you and your boyfriend swapped salaries, would you stay with him?

      I would also argue that you don't need a man to support you having children, my mother was the breadwinner in my family for most of my childhood, it is definitely possible for you to still be financially stable after having kids.

What Guys Said 1

  • They shouldn’t care if there feminists that’s all I know


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