Why Do Some Women Think Making Excuses To Men Is Better Than Telling The Truth?

Today at my school I asked a girl if she would like to get lunch. We didn't know each other but I still did it at the end of class. She asked me if I meant right now. I was too nervous to answer so she politely told me sorry I have to go to work. She told me the city she works, but I felt so anxious I couldn't stay to listen. She was probably lying. Why do a lot of girls not tell guys what they really think of them? Even if we do get upset we can still talk it over. If I can muster up the courage to ask someone out then they can work up the courage to be honest

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Based on what you said, I don't think she was lying. If I wasn't interested in someone, I wouldn't tell them where they could find me.

    I have made up excuses on occasion though. One reason I'll make up excuses sometimes is when a guy doesn't explicitly say that he's interested in me romantically, but makes it obvious in other ways, and keeps trying to invite me to things. I can't say I'm not interested if he didn't actually say that the reason he was asking was romantic attraction. Because then he can just deny it, and say that I'm being arrogant. But if I go with him then I'm accused of leading him on. So I try to avoid him and hope he can take a hint. I'll usually just say I'm busy, and I won't specify with what. And then I just make sure I'm doing something at that time.

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    • @weasley8

      But if a man told you about his romantic feelings would you then be direct with him? Also if you expect men to take the hint you're not interested, shouldn't you take the hint they are interested? If a guy asks you to lunch, it's clear he has feelings for you

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    • I could. But it’s easier to avoid the awkward conversation. And I’d feel bad for him if he was.

    • @weasley8

      Well it should be shared in my view. Also I find confidence attractive, I'd love it if a girl I liked asked me my feelings

Most Helpful Guy

  • um with things going on, at least in the US, I kind of don't blame girls for trying to politely brush off advances- especially if it is a guy they don't know. She may have had experiences with a guy in the past in a similar scenario that turned ugly and now she is afraid. I know it sucks to be judged for someone else's mistake, but playing it safe is the right move in the end.

    I recommend at least becoming acquaintances with a girl or having a few conversations to get past such defenses. At the very least, if she is still uninterested, they are more likely to be honest about it because they can at least make some prediction about how you will react. As a stranger, she has to assume the worst case scenario.

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    • @ccp16

      I get excuses if your some six foot guy on the street. But I'm the same height as her and we were in a room full of people what was I gonna do?

    • You're still a man... a man she doesn't know (possibly not at all from your description, does she even know your name?) And many women report being stalked online and harrassed virtually, so with modern technology, the setting unfortunately doesn't help... I think cold approaching a girl in a public area used to be fine, but with the internet and cell phones it can be really hard to escape a persistent stalker- unfortunately, times have changed.

      I hope you are not taking my response as trying to say you did anything wrong, you really didn't. I just think her reaction, and similar 'excuses' make complete sense to me and the best way to avoid that is to get to know a girl a little first.

    • @ccp16

      It wasn't a cold approach cause we sat next to each other. Although after this we might not. We didn't talk much during class but I just decided to ask her out to improve my confidence, you know? There was another girl I wanted to ask but I couldn't. I probably should have gotten to know her more first. I did ask her name but I didn't say mine, I thought she knew it. I guess I shouldn't just ask any girl out

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What Girls Said 1

  • She was probably being honest and you just shut down and assumed she was fobbing you off.. she gave you her place of work!

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    • @Tomblebee

      I didn't leave intentionally. I was just too nervous. I don't know if you understand how much many men are afraid to talk with women. It's not good

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    • @Tomblebee

      With both boys and girls yes why?

    • Interesting.. yes I think they should teach human interaction in schools.

What Guys Said 7

  • Because they think that in that way they won't disappoint you or make you feel bad (while in reality it's quite the opposite). You don't really have any control on that. It's their way to "defend" themselves from a possible overraction and the person in front of them from hurting their feelings. I completely understand you though. Honesty beats everything.

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    • @TheBogeymanJPN

      That hurts more than the rejection. That a girl would think that poorly of men that she has to lie

  • They tend to err on the side of caution where men are concerned because they fear violent reaction.

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  • They maintain "THE BIG LIE" why would small lies bother them?

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  • Because people don't know how to build relationships, Be it very small ones, intimate ones, strong ones, friendship ones, they don't understand the realm of possibility, its all negative to them, on both sides, a lot of guys over react to rejection as well however a lot of women act like its the worst thing ever and they're giving us pity out of annoyance or truly not being interested, however remember, life is what you make of it, everyones answers and questions so You could also assume she was being honest, if she asked "Right now?" then she was contemplating it.

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  • They believe man can overreact

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    • @shubh2623

      I felt worse about myself than I did about her

    • I understand try to be friendlh with your girl.. Don't tell her what to do and what not. Just share your experiences in a way that she understands, what you wanna convey.

  • i have no idea but it is annoying ain't it lol

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  • The same reason Trump can't take responsibility for his actions

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