Is this an ok thing to do towards your ex/towards your SO? Am I the only one who finds it terrible?

Background story: Kevin and I met and soon became friends with benefits. One day as my plans for the weekend had been canceled, he proposed I join him and his friends for a party weekend at a cabin they had booked in the middle of the woods in the middle of nowhere, so that there would have been no complaining neighbors. The cabin had a small separated dependance. Him and I decided to sleep there. We spent the weekend in there chatting (and having sex), as we both discovered we actually liked each other a lot. That’s the moment when we realized we wanted more, we liked each other more than physically, and when things between us got serious.

As a couple, we had this tradition of going for weekend getaways in cabins in the middle of nowhere, to “remake” what had marked the beginning of our relationship. Last year before we broke up he organized such a weekend in a place he seeked out himself. There was nothing of interest around, it was just a nice cabin.

Last week, he went to that same cabin o holiday with his new girlfriend.

Am I the only one who sees a problem here? Why is he giving his girlfriend second hand things? Why is he ruining our memories like this? Do you consider this an ok behavior?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes. As much as it hurts, you can't expect anything out of anyone. You two are over, and he is not obligated to reserve that memory for you. Been there too :/

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    • Yeah but as a girlfriend, it would be a huge deal breaker if my boyfriend takes me to a place that’s significant for his previous relationship too...

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don’t see why it wouldn’t be ok, should he stop doing anything in life he did with you? Should he stop using the same shower gel he did while you were in a relationship? Or going to the same favourite restaurant?
    At the end of the day, it’s none of your business what he does with his new girlfriend and if he wants to create new memories with her doing things he likes then he can

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What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds like you two didn't have the "exclusive" talk so it's fair, even though it might hurt you. Having sex in a cabin does not mean you two are exclusive. You are not exclusive until you have that talk.

    Also if you didn't show clear interest in him after that cabin weekend he properly assumed you just weren't interested, or changed your mind. Girls change their mind, a lot. Your lack of communication is on you.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I understand how you must be feeling - this is honestly really shitty of him. He might not think about it that way, but I would be hurt too.

    At least, this could be a sign that he want with her, what he had with you, and he is just trying to replace you with her. So you can't have been that bad ;)

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  • I don't think it's nice from his perspective. It was like yours "tradition" and now he continues doing this really special thing with another girl. But you shouldn't care. I mean, it's the past now. You'll find someone with who you can do special things too. Leave memories behind, let him do whatever he wants with his new girlfriend, live your life!

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