What is a way he will understand this?

I was told by my sons father he was asked why me and his dad aren't together. His dad told him to ask me and i was asked this before he was going to stay at his dads for the weekend.

I want to explain it to him so he will understand, he is 6 almost 7 and not confuse him. I know he will ask a lot of question after i tell him. He does live with me and my husband and sees his dad on the weekend and sometimes during the weekday.

I went to party that my friend wanted to go to and i had gotten drunk and had sex with his father and didn't remeber who i slept with. I found out i was pregnant and i told my friend and when we were talking about it other people over heard it and passer it on. He found out last, and remembered me since he didn't drink or anything. I was then basically home schooled for a while, senior year i went back and met my husband who we were friends for a while and then dated, he knew i had a son. I met my sons father after he said he was the father and we talked so i could know his history of medical stuff and we talked.

I let him meet his son and he visited him on the weekend when he came home from college, i did online college to be home with my son. I got engaged and in August 26 i got married,

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that at that age he wouldn't be able to get past the expectation that mommies and daddies are always together. Also, and I might be wrong about this, I think the age of reason for most people starts around 8. Your son could be an exception, though being his mother you're more than likely biased in that regard. It's probably best to wait until he's a few years older and to try and just give him the old "I'll explain it to you when you're older" line in the meantime.

    Possibly, if you truly do not want to leave him without some kind of answer, a child psychiatrist can explain to you how he or she thinks you can best handle the issue if you are set on talking to your son about it sooner rather than later.

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    • Maybe i can buy myself some time to think of a good explanation, i don't see why his dad couldn't think of somethings to tell him

    • Given that it is, unless I've misunderstood something, you and your husband who are raising your son by this other man, it would probably be best for that other man to either consult with you about how to inform your son as to why you and he aren't together, or for him to do as he did and let you and your husband handle the matter. Besides which, it's rather unfair to assume it should be easy enough for your son's dad to talk about the issue at hand when it's obviously not an easy topic for you. I think that, in a case like this, who deflected the burden of explaining the situation to whom first is not as important as who arguably has more responsibility in both explaining the situation and helping your son to deal with any questions and issues that may arise. My contention is that this is more a matter for you and your husband, with the input of your son's father. It might be best for all three of you to sit and talk with your son.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Tell him the truth. There's no easy way. One thing though never let it seem as if his father is a really bad guy that will just mess things up I know from experience my mom and dad they broke up years ago I lived with my mom for a very long time until 2 years ago, for the past 2 years I've being living with my father he has not said one good thing about my mom and I hate that.

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What Guys Said 3

  • . You will just have to say, even tho me and daddy are not together, we will always love you no matter what. And you are old enough too understand, I promise you, I will explain why we are not together. I ask you trust me sweetheart.

    You have to put it in way he will understand you. If you can put it in child terms, Even if you can find a cartoon or something, that can explain your situation to him.

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  • I think lying and hiding. Are gonna makes things worse.. The damage will be more if it's for longer period of time... Possibilities are your son might not get it or understand or he'll misunderstand or think your characterless and call you name but I believe we should be real and honest at least with people whom we care for... We can't escape from judgments.

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    • I dont think he will understand just yet, and what exactly should i say

    • Or may you're expecting him to understand what you want him to understand so you would not be a bad person in his eyes.

    • I know he won't understand at first

  • Tell him the closer truth that you can. Say that things were complicated, that you didn't know his Dad well enough to be together or that things didn't work between you. When he grows up he'll get it.

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    • I would have to say , its complicated , since we never dated and thing never worked out

    • Show All
    • Like you liked yourselves once but you didn't work together. Something simples that leaves a "hook" for him to understand in the future.

What Girls Said 5

  • I think you'll have to tell him the hard truth but make him see that he doesn't have to think it was alright what you and his dad did. So maybe something like 'When your dad and I were young we did crazy wild things and one of those wild things made you. Mummy and Daddy tried to work it but we saw that it was best for everyone, including you, if we were apart so that's ho come your dad and I aren't together.'
    You can use that as a starting. Does it help?

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  • My ex's daughter is 10. They split up when she was 3. She seems pretty well adjusted to me. Just tell him you dated his father and it didn't work out.

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  • Wait are you together or not? You sound pretty reckless! Who in god earth is your mama!! Who sleep with someone shit drunk? I would have aborted. Poor kid.

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  • Tell him mom and dad were not together by the time he was born, and you later met your actual husband.
    There's no way he'll understand the real story so keep it simple. Just try to focus on the fact that despite not being together, both mom and dad love him and want the best for him.

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  • Makes him understand

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