Single for 8months?

Iv Been single for 8 months and im finding it hard to even have any sort of relationship with people since my ex messed around and mentally abused me, iv been pushing people away i dont feel love anymore i want to like someone and get close to them but i feel as if im going to get hurt , is this normal am i going to quick i dont understand why i push people away :(

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I've been single for 2.5 years. Just take your time, and maybe try getting to know someone as a friends first type thing. There's nothing wrong with being single until you're ready. You're closing yourself off as a defense mechanism and that's normal. I'd say take little steps towards letting people back in and searching for a partner. In time you'll heal. I don't know your situation, or how long you were dating but yeah it can leave a deep emotional scar for a bit, but over time it'll get better.

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    • I was with my ex for 3 years he's left a massive hole in my life im not as open to making friends he hated that etc

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    • Thanks i appreciate it

    • No problem

  • I have been single for 3 years... although that doesn't bother me so much since I generally enjoy being single and still date girls from time to time.

    More importantly, I think you need to work through some things based off what you said... Also, based off your post it sounds like you believe you need* to be in a relationship. My little sister is the same way... I can not stress how healthy it is to be peace with yourself before dating someone else. Being firm in who you are and with your life- aka friends, work, and social life will make you a stronger partner in the future and help expose you to potential partners in the process.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know how that feels. I stopped dating for like a year lol. Maybe you should try to talk to your friends or people you trust. Or seek therapy

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What Guys Said 8

  • It isn't uncommon. Especially if you have been hurt in such a way. Oftem ome develops trust issues and build walls around one self, isolating them from further pain.
    The way to get around this I beleave is to try finding someone sweet, not rushing things, just steadily build up trust and confort. I think it is like some sort of instinstinct, a fear of being hurt simply put.

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  • it's your defense mechanism right now. you're guarding yourself against others so you don't get hurt. it could be in friendships or work relationships as well.

    it will take time to gain back your confidence, but it WILL happen.

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  • Sounds like you need to find someone you can "just be" with not "just be with" trust is built and right now you can't even trust anyone.

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  • I'm also single at the moment, it kinda sucks. I mean, my job sucks, I have enough money but not enough free time.

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  • Sorry to hear you were in an abusive situation. Don't rush here. Take the time you need to unwind from that, and when you're ready it will happen.

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  • Take a break and focus on making yourself happy before you try finding someone new.

    At least you're not like me who has been single forever.

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  • I have been single since birth.

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  • Take a break

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What Girls Said 1

  • 8 months is not a long time... just take your time to heal properly.

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