How likely is it for a man to say "yes" if women ever approach first?

I have gotten some messages from the opposite gender here asking me why in the world women never want to make the first move. I just said that women are afraid of rejection too and we are no different than men plus society pressure us to "behave" like a lady who is not "desperate"

Speaking of this matter, I have this one friend who is a flirty, aggresive and outgoing type. She will try to approach (in a soft way) any guys she finds attractive and I do admire her confidence. I'm in a relationship so I don't approach guys but if I was single, I am not sure if I can be like her. Oh the result of her approaching guys is POSITIVE. Most guys responded well.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • A girl who is at least moderately attractive physically and who has a fun, friendly, sweet attitude is going to generally have a positive response from men. However, you probably can't just approach a man and ask him out - that's so rare for most men (it only happens regularly to men who are 9+) that most guys would be suspicious. Now, if a girl comes up and starts a conversation, and 20 minutes into it she asks the guy out, she's almost always going to get a yes if he's single and looking to date.

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  • I would encourage the behavior. Remember all you are doing by making the 'first move' is communicating clearly to a stranger that there is something you find attractive about them or that you want to get to know them better. If a girl did that for me as has happened previously I would feel flattered and return to advance by talking to her and seeing if we have anything in common. I would take the lead at that point in asking her out on a 1st date and planning it, but hey if she likes me initially I am all for it. I don't see the gesture as being desperate because I know that I am a catch and know she will need to earn my trust and attention through the dating process.

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What Guys Said 30

  • If I were single, I'd go on a date with any woman who approached me unless there was some obvious dealbreaker, especially if it is clear that it wasn't easy for her to do it. I think we guys should reward women that do this, and I'd be impressed that she took the initiative.

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    • I'd say it depends on what sort of guys they are approaching even more than what they look like.

  • if i liked how her face looked i'd say yes ;P

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  • Saying yes has nothing to do with her showing interest. But it does add bonus points of course

    I mean no one really wants to put themselves in a awkward situation. So sometimes if she can take that burden. It shows she understands men or isn’t afraid to express herself

    Which is usually a good thing

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    • She doesn’t really have to a move to approach us. She just has to make it obvious she wants him to talk to her and she isn’t just going to reject him

      That’s enough

    • In my country it is seen as a bad thing. A girl making the first move I mean.

    • Ya of course. It’s conservative there
      Go even more conservative, girls can’t even go to a bank without a man present lol

      But it’s just conservative basically. women have a lower social status that’s why. If you go to a place where it’s mostly equal or trying to be equal. It’s not seen as anything. It’s just normal either or

  • As nice as the idea sounds, I’ve always found the girls who ask me out like that have never been the type I want to date. They are either unattractive and sweet, or attractive but bitchy.

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    • I've found exactly this, too.

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    • Well the ones Jim is talking about (the bitchy ones) are just the loud ones who need to be like that to get ANY attention.

      The unattractive ones do get asked out eventually, but guys who are confident enough to go chase women generally chase pretty ones. So they’re left with the really shy ones (like the guys on GaG who ask why women don’t approach) ... and have to do it themselves.

    • If you tell she is bitchy on an approach, turn her down unless you are on a real dry spell. The unattractive but sweet ones are fun to go on a date with.

  • depends on the woman's personality for me, but I would definitely like to get to know them see if we clicked
    but it's not desperate to approach first it makes us guys who are usually rejected by women or who haven't had much luck finding the one special woman, actually feel a little more open to talk tbh

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  • If he's unättached and she is of at least ãverage or slightly below attractive he will likely say yes.

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  • Alright you do realize guys don't like rejections either, but it seems like we're forced to always make the first move.

    If women were to approach first it would be nice. in my opinion women that just sit there and wait, then complains she never gets approached by nice guys I feel are full if crap.

    You have no right to complain if you haven't even tried to meet the right guy.

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  • I'd be very suspect. Women usually expect men to just go all out for them, so it's a break of the norm and I'd expect it to be a joke or trick Men also feel bad for rejection and you don't see it stopping us.
    Also, it's 2018 and men want to be approached too, women can't use that "Society pressures us to behave like a lady who is not desperate." excuse anymore, At least for millennials and younger.

    It seems like your friend is a good indicator of it too.

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  • the answer depends if he's attracted to you or not, if he's gay or not, if he's with someone or not and if he'll cheat on his girlfriend or not.

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  • If a woman approached me I would most likely give her a chance because she made that effort. It would be such a rare event I think saying no would be very hard.

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  • The one thing I wish women would realize/know is showing interest by making the first move doesn't equal "desperate". Most guys don't think this at all. For us to think that, we'd have to reject you, and then you keep asking/stalking us. Also how is showing interest in a guy not "behaving like a lady"? LOL It's so silly (that thinking). I know most women have it, but it's stupid it really is.

    Like you said, we are ALL afraid of rejection. Why is it always on the guy? Why is it "ok" if he takes all the risk and gets rejected all the time, but you women never have to ever? Because he can "handle it"? Again, so stupid that thinking.

    To answer your original question, it depends if I'm interested. But even if I'm not, I have a ton of respect right off the bat for her even asking me and taking the risk. And I'm flattered either way.

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  • Depends on the circumstances, rn id probably say no, just cause I've got a lot going on in my life rn.

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  • If I found her to be cute, she'd get a yes from me, no problem at all.

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  • Put it like this, there is a chance if I have two girls, I like one, and one likes me. Both are fairly attractive, but the one I like is a little bit more attractive than the one I like. I will 95.5% probably go with the one that makes the first move than the one that waits. Simply because it’s sooo sexy when a woman knows what they want and isn’t AFRAID to go for it. That’s a woman that can push me to be better. Fear of rejection is a part of life and shouldn’t be an excuse. And women have been pushing past the mold of society, so behaving like a woman, should be challenged, and that’s probably one of the best ways to do it. I know probably 98% of women won’t. And they will probably miss out on opportunities

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  • I would welcome a woman who is willing to make the first move and return her much love for that, if it works out.

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  • As long as I find her attractive and there’s no red flags, yes.

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  • Me as a man there's nothing better when a girl is not afraid to get what she wants.. sexy sexy

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  • Very likely for me as I never approach

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  • <75%

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  • its most likely a guy would say YES

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  • Yes to what?

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    • to whatever they approached to... yep that is not helpful

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    • I had a woman the other day talk to me an hr. she even gave me her ph # i didn't ask for it she just gave it to me. then she asked me about my last relationship and i said i've had no last relationship. And she said never? and i said no and she said why not? I told her the truth. there's not any one reason. then she's like well i got to go. lol i was doing fine till i said that. another flaw i have you ask me a question i'm going to tell you the truth.

    • Giving a lot of motivationals "go and just talk to him/her" and "dont be afraid of rejection" to friends, made me learn something, Everyone likes to be liked/desired. so even if someone says no, they will still look at you and be happy and they will like you for it. (unless its a rude person who will tell people, "yo, look at that one, came up to me and i rejected" but if thats the case the person is already not that interesting, right?)
      So thats why i tend to never be afraid to go talk to any guy, and i also like to. makes me happy

      but i think that in your case it wasn't that you didn't click (after all it was just one question right? the glasses. i think if that was all for her to give up on you she's the rude one) i think that she just got too nervous and decided to back out

      and maybe, even maybe, she just really liked your glasses?

  • Very high

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  • Well it depends on the girl of course.

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  • Very likely

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  • what was she asking most likely yes

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  • Very likely 90% i think depending on the person.

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  • I appreciate women approaching 1st. Wish they would more often.. If i find her attractive then its a yes. If i dont find her attractive then im willing 2 be cool with her but she is friend zoned...

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  • Most guys are thirsty and starving, they would respond well even if an alien approached.

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  • If she is someone I like I’ll definitely say yes!

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  • It depends on the guy. I'm shy (when sober) and I've had girls make moves on me before. I ended up with them.

    I live in the U. S. and so the message of "behave like a lady" isn't as pushed here since female empowerement is so huge in my country now so I don't think girls are being pressured to not approach in the U. S. It's still predominantly guys who approach but that just makes the girls who do approach stand out more in a positive way.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yea i have better luck BEING approached than approaching. I usually get rejected when approaching because i apparently approach the ones who friendzoned me. So later on i started approaching the guys AFTER i no longer liked them. They’d be like WHY DONT U LIKE ME ANYMORE? WHAT IF I TOLD U RN I WAS INTO U THIS WHOLE TIME

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  • If you never put yourself out there you'll never know.
    I had no trouble with approaching guys and if I was knocked back I wouldn't take it personally.

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