Guys, would you be turned off by a girl with only one ex-lover?

I know it's weird, so here's a (way too long) explanation. I was normal teenage girl and dated a few guys growing up, but I didn't want to get physical with anyone I didn't really love. I'd seen "rushing into it" screwing up my girlfriends and I didn't want that to happen to me. Anyway, I fell in love when I was twenty. I really tried to make it work with him, but five years down the road; he just wasn't the sort of guy I respected anymore. I couldn't understand how I'd misread him so badly. I don't love easily, and it took about two years after breaking up before I could even THINK about being physical again. Even after that time frame, I didn't really find anyone that I was "crazy" about. To be honest, I was fine with that. I figured if it happened, it happened, but I wasn't going out of my way to "fall" for anyone again. I still had a lot of anger towards my ex (about the relationship ending badly not the "virginity" issue) which wouldn't have been fair making the "new guy" deal with it, so I buried myself in work in the mean time. Now, I'm through it and I do want to meet someone new. But I'm worried about my lack of experience being a deal-breaker for guys; or guys thinking I'm "prudish" or something. Advice?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • If you're actually taking things as carefully as you say you are, then you shouldn't have much of a problem running into someone who wouldn't see it as a problem. I think a lack of of experience is a good thing, I also think a wealth of experience is a good thing. It's really more about the honesty and openness in admitting your own feelings and desires toward intimacy that matters. If you're focusing more on finding someone you click with than someone who isn't irked by your lack of experience or your need to move more slowly, then the latter will naturally fall into place in a beneficial way.

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  • Any guy that is turned off by your inexperience just wants sex. So yes some guys will be put off but those are not the men you want. Guys who are looking for something serious will find your past an overall good thing and be interested in you. Personally if I started dating you and you told me that story I would be more interested in you. However if say you told me you had been with more men, or if you had hooked up at all, I would probably not continue to see you at all unless I thought there was a chance to just hook up with you and not have a relationship.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This question does up daily! Why are women so insecure about needing respected for choices? Why would you want to be considered more acceptable for being considered easy? This question boggles my mind at how often it comes up. It's almost offensive to every woman it there I think because it either makes you feel inadequate of less because you feel you should show you aren't promiscuous.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 32

  • I've never asked any women how many partners she has had, but if you told me this, I wouldn't have a Problem with you having had just one Long-term relationship, and I don't think any guy would, even if he might initially be surprised.

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  • Men who worry about how many partners a woman has had in the past are highly insecure and dont know how to focus on making themselves worth your time.

    It shouldn't matter how many lovers you've had, what matters is whoever you get with need only realize he's lucky that HE is the one who has you and that none of the other men before him could keep you or hold your interest.

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  • Yes. Your awesome, beautiful and gorgeous. Don't let negatives feelings about yourself get you down and stop you from being happy. Most guys like you've only had one boyfriend. It's okay not to love easily but you do have to put in some effort. Point is its definitely not a deal breaker.

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  • It's not weird. It's your life story and the journey you've taken.
    It's really not an issue. Probably more of an issue in your mind then an issue for a potential suitor.

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  • (I didn't read the details because I hate reading xd). Anyways, I wouldn't care. The only time a conversation about exes would come up is when I'm telling them funny stories about my exes and I ask "you got any crazy exes"?

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  • Only if she'd be turned off by a 21-year-old virgin guy.

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  • Girls without the experience are definitely sexier to me. Now I dont have to compete with near as many guys in her past. Makes things a lot easier for me in my opinion.

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  • Trust me when i say this it doesn't matter. If anything its actually better because your expectations won't be so high since you dont have much sexual experience.

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  • no why would that be a turn off?
    if you consider that anyone in a long term relationship is dedicated and committed to that relationship and then one day that breaks down and they split, but no one else has clicked with them since... this is not a bad thing, but rather a good one... it shows commitment and also shows they aren't jumping from one to the next in a bid to just be with someone
    the down side though is anyone like myself who only does long term relationships and committed long term or for life as i like to put it... we dont get to do the whole new dating thing often so when we do get around to having to date we are so rusty that most women are put off
    yet for those who are willing to see past that and give us a chance they are never disappointed as we are committed thoroughly to that 1 woman if it got to the serious stage

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  • I'm more turned off by personality you could have had one but be more in tune with yourself than someone double your age

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  • Actually its a plus for me, i am very reserved myself in that regard so we would be a good match.

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  • Good guys don't have any preferences. All they need is a person who is biological straight girl and has a good heart

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  • Why do girls think guys are upset to hear they haven't slept with many people? Its the opposite

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  • It wouldn't be a turn-off in and of itself, not at all.

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  • Not at all, the opposite really, men in would probably prefer if you had less partners but I doubt they'd be really bothered either way

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  • Absolutley not, i think you'll find there are tons of gals in similar situations our age

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  • No. My current boyfriend has never even been in a relationship before.

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  • I wish I could give advice, but I have 0 experience...

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  • I've never had a relationship so I would not know lol but id think it was just fine

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  • Nothing wrong at all with having only one partner. A guy worth keeping would appreciate that.

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  • Nope! Not a problem.

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  • Gold mine

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  • Why would this be an issue?

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  • Nope. Better than 700.

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  • Simply no

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  • Is this a joke!

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  • No i dont see why thats a bad thing.

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  • No I don't care about a girls sexual past.

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  • No not a problem

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  • No why would i?

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What Girls Said 3

  • If anything you'd deal with the opposite. Men fetishising you because you've only "touched one dick, been fucked by one guy' etc. My friend actually had trouble telling the genuine people from the creeps who were just fetishising how little she knew about relationships and sex. If you've been fucking one man your whole life odds are you have a lot of exploration to do and men will immediately think of that. Then the other side of the coin is "I don't want a five year relationship and this girl probably does or something serious" but that's not a problem if you want something serious just ignore the dudes that don't.

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  • They shouldn't, your reasons for only having one seem logical

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  • I doubt it.

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