Physical Attraction. How important is it to you?

Clearly, most people look for some degree of physical attraction when they are pursuing a partner.
However, all of those degrees can be widely different.
Some people might have a long list of expectations, and if someone doesn't fall into all of those categories (even with an amazing personality) they will be denied.
While others might be willing to throw away a good portion of their expectations for the persons personality (and by doing so... in some cases... changing the definition of what they find physically appealing)...

I suppose some of my questions come in the form of these...

How important is physical attraction to you?
Has your definition of "physically attractive" changed over your life?
Have your expectations changed? Do you consider your expectations too great? (are you picky/shallow)
etc etc etc
anything you think you can add, would be great :)
just love your opinion on this topic.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • First off, I really love the way you put a lot of thought and detail into those questions.
    One of the few that can also write coherent sentences. I respect that.
    Second, I think what you stated is very accurate with it comes to the balance between brain and beauty. I personally can say that you seem to think deeply, full thoughts, and I am very much attracted to people who are empathetic, intelligent, curious, and sensitive mentally.
    I’ve definetely grown to learn what I am into. And over the years it seems that those with a certain intelligence and social skills about them, get a pass when it comes to looks. I’ve started to see that my crushes are less attractive to my friends, but are also... very likely to become a success in life. (These crushes also being attractive physically in my eyes, but I guess that’s just me.) I must say that my expectations are not very high, but I do have high standards for myself, which does also help me decide who I would actually like to be involved with. (I. e. I’m not going to live life as an alcoholic, and am not particularly looking for a partner who drinks. Etc.)

    I’d love to answer any other questions if you have them. I think this covers about everything here. Hope this helps!

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    • haha my other questions beg to differ :) HAHA
      those would likely make me look less attractive in your eyes..

      Either way
      would you mind messaging me? O. O
      id enjoy your perspectives on some other things.

  • I find physical attraction extremely important. I won't compromise on it. My definition of physical attractiveness has not changed during the time I've been actively pursuing dating. I've never found it difficult to find dates who are attractive to me, although I do consider myself somewhat picky.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd say it's pretty important but there have been many cases where I didn't find a girls looks so amazing on first impression only to find her increasingly attractive as I got to see her more often (and even physically as I noticed more attractive qualities to her that I overlooked in the beginning). I even fell in love with one who I found not so attractive in the beginning and not my "type" physically, only to fall so hard for her that I started to find her and girls who looked like her the most attractive.

    I also don't find it important that she remains equally as attractive in my eyes over the years. Naturally age is going to come with some grey hairs and wrinkles at the least. But I'll still see her fondly, as I originally did, when I fell madly for her. It wasn't only so important that, at some point, I found her so attractive. If I did, that image formed in my mind will tend to survive the grey hairs and wrinkles that form over the years, e. g.

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    • It [/was] only so important that, at some point, I found her so attractive.

    • Show All
    • @Curiousity796 Oh cheers and thanks. I am kind of a strange person, constantly questioning social norms and even my own thinking patterns. So my answers tend to be a bit odd. :-D

    • Nothing wrong with odd :) I liked it as well...
      I feel as though most people are unwilling to actually "think" through things
      and define themselves by social norms :P

      I feel it applies far more to men O. O
      women seem to be more likely to go against it
      men seem to be raised on it.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 14

  • To me physical attraction is just the first part. The way I see it is; physical attraction brings two people together, personality and intelligence keep them around. So in that aspect, physical attraction is the first step to a relationship. Physical attraction you feel towards a person makes the difference between a friendship and a love affair. I would not marry somebody only because of compatibility, shared interest or even economic interest. Strong physical attraction serves as a very tough mortar that will hold the building blocks of relationship, sexual happiness and marriage together. The decision to marry is typically made with multiple considerations and motivations, of which physical attraction is usually an important part. There is a misconception that the importance of physical attraction after marriage changes significantly with time, and it is still promoted, particularly among conservative institutions. Everyone has differing preferences; experiences, and outcomes, generally, physical attraction continues to be important after marriage. It has been observed that males generally communicate better, and are more supportive and empathetic towards their spouses when their spouses were objectively measured as more attractive than them. Honesty is the best policy. There are strong pressures and motivations that push people from admitting and accepting the importance of physical attraction. Also, do not assume that the importance of physical attraction will decrease with time in a significant other. If your physical bond between you both is strong, there might also just be a better chance for not getting tempted easily. Because to be in real love with a person, you need to be in love with every aspect of them. That includes the body. The body is indeed the first thing one sees of another person. But a relationship is going to be shallow if it is based on nothing but physical attraction. “Sexual compatibility” is not going to hold two people together for life, because if you only like the body and do not know the person well, bodies change. Kids happen, stress happens, weight gain happens, bodies droop, wrinkles appear, and suddenly you are waking up next to a stranger. How can you kiss someone and look at them every day when you are not attracted to them? Physical attraction, compatibility, and emotional attraction are all essential. So physical attraction is part of any good relationship, but it is not the only thing the relationship is about.

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  • Physical attraction is pretty much crucial to me. If I'm not attracted in the first place I won't be intrigued to get to know the person any better after all. The definition has not changed for me but I do find that my 'type' is not a totally static concept. I don't find it hard to attract guys that I find very attractive but I find it hard to become mentally or emotionally attracted to them in addition so I don't know maybe my expectations are too great concerning the non-visual aspects...

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  • There has to be a certain amount of physical attraction but it’s not always the case for me. I have fallen for plenty of guys who at first glance weren’t what I would call gorgeous. But as I got to know them, I started finding them attractive.

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    • Would you be alright with messaging me with some advice? O. o
      virgin related stuff.

      if not its cool :)

  • It's not very important at first. If I meet someone and get to know them and like them as a person then the physical attraction comes after so it wouldn't be a deal breaker if I met someone who I didn't at first sight think was super attractive

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  • It's very important. I'm not looking for a world class model but if I'm not attracted to someone at least a little bit, I wouldn't want to be with them.

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  • I think it's important. I mean, physical attraction is what's gonna lure you into the person first if you see them out in public, so if you're not attracted, you're probably not going to pursue them. Sure, you can become attracted to someone once you get to know them, but in that initial moment, it's important.

    My definition has stayed relatively the same. My expectations aren't overly high. As long as he isn't obese/smokes, and there's at least some physical attraction, and our personalities click, then I'm content.

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  • Physical attraction is important, but its not everything to me.
    Yes, once I started to experience more. I weighed out personality over physical attraction. They can look very attractive, but if they are close minded, arrogant, and ignorant etc. their physical attractiveness doesn't matter anymore to me.
    No and Yes? I have never been the shallow type, I like to find the best qualities in people their smile, hair, build, or face etc. and compliment them on it. But as I stated personality and the way the person carries themselves changes my perception on their overall appearance.

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  • There has to be physical attraction to some extent in any relationship at the end of the day. It isn't going to keep the relationship together but without physical attraction I am not sexually attracted to someone so in my opinion it is important

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  • A person has to be physically attractive or else there's no relationship. However, someone's someone who's not physically attractive can become so if they have the right personality

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  • Barely important at all. Typically I fall in love with personality and humor first and then I start to feel physical attraction.

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  • How important is physical attraction to you?
    - Just enough. On a scale of 1-10, one being least important and 10 being most important, I'd say somewhat like 4.5.

    Has your definition of "physically attractive" changed over your life?
    Oh yes.
    - Earlier I used to like skinny and average guys. Now I like moderately muscular guys too.
    - I used to be attracted to selected races of men. Now I find men of all races attractive.

    Have your expectations changed? Do you consider your expectations too great? (are you picky/shallow)
    I am not picky in terms of looks, but in terms of personality , I'm picky.

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  • Very important

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  • it's crucial

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  • It's very important to me
    I want to wake up beside someone I find attractive and honestly beauty is in the eye of the beholder
    I do also give guys a chance who are not totally my type just cause I like their personality but they're still somehow attractive to me

    If I don't find you attractive I won't even try to pursue a relationship

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    • Oh also my definition hasn't changed at all
      Also feel like I need to mention that beauty isn't everything, after attractiveness comes the personality

What Guys Said 3

  • It's a plus, but other things are much more important. I'd be happy to date a relatively unattractive woman if she has a good personality and character as well as sharing at least some of my interests because I know I'll enjoy being around her.

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  • for me physical attraction hasn't been too big on who i date or try to.
    i would rather have someone that has an interesting personality, my requirements are:
    no (Normal) smoking,
    not obese.
    at the very least a bit attractive (doesn't have to be like fucking 7/10 or smth yknow)

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  • I wouldn't say I'm picky if I click with someone I click with them :) and my opinion has never changed never chased any woman if they like me tell me sort of thing it's not all one way and people forget that

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